Local Berkshire news

[DimPrawn]

We have full coverage of the Airbus A370 which has crashed into the asylum centre here in Berkshire. Reports coming in say all on board were Swine Flu patients being transported for treatment to Sweden. On the ground it is believed all the victims were foreigners ready for deportation.

In what's believed an unrelated incident a local Berkshire man who witnessed the crash died at the scene. Medical staff believe a huge erection caused oxygen depravation to his brain. It is believed he has no relatives or friends to inform.

[Pondlife]

This would never have happened under the tories.

[BrilloPad]

No mention of the implications for chutney spoons?

[Andy2]

This would never have happened under the tories.

According to an eye witness those were his last words

[sasguru]

In what's believed an unrelated incident a local Berkshire man who witnessed the crash died at the scene. Medical staff believe a huge erection caused oxygen depravation to his brain. It is believed he has no relatives or friends to inform.

a tiny erection caused oxygen deprivation to his even tinier brain

And in other news, the Daily Mail reports that his house was worth £24,323 and not the £500,000 that he so fondly believed.

[Pondlife]

And in other news, the Daily Mail reports that a family of 7 from Afghanistan refused the offer of housing in the deceased's estate because of the state of the curtains and spoons .