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Idiot sightings

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    Idiot sightings

    It being Monday morning, I thought people might like a giggle or two. Very American, but some of these made me smile...

    Anyone got any better jokes to lift the Monday gloom?

    IDIOT SIGHTING 1:
    We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two..'

    We haven't used Sears repair since.

    IDIOT SIGHTING 2:
    My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money..' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

    Do not confuse the clerks at McD's..

    IDIOT SIGHTING 3:
    I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

    IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
    My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had ice burg lettuce.

    IDIOT SIGHTING 4:
    I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask..'

    IDIOT SIGHTING 5:
    The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

    She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

    IDIOT SIGHTING 6:
    At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing. ' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the- headlights stare.

    This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


    IDIOT SIGHTING 7:
    I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less...

    IDIOT SIGHTING 8
    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'its open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
    This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
    Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? - Epicurus

    #2
    Surely this belongs here then?
    Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.

    Comment


      #3
      IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
      My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had ice burg lettuce.
      No sympathy. What kind of pretentious wazzock asks for "minimal lettuce"? (apart from one that can't spell iceberg).

      the other ones are good though!

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by PM-Junkie View Post
        My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25,

        The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

        Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
        DO, Shirley?


        Also, why do so many full stop appear twice in that original post?
        My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by PM-Junkie View Post
          IDIOT SIGHTING 2:
          My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money..' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

          Do not confuse the clerks at McD's..
          Ha, the same thing happened with an Indian cashier at Sainsburys. The bill was £5.07 (I`m cheap) so I gave her £10.07 - She then rang up £10 on the till and proceeded to tell me off for giving her too much money.

          Comment


            #6
            There are a lot of thick septics - in other news, bears, pope etc :-)

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by dinker View Post
              Ha, the same thing happened with an Indian cashier at Sainsburys. The bill was £5.07 (I`m cheap) so I gave her £10.07 - She then rang up £10 on the till and proceeded to tell me off for giving her too much money.
              When I "overpay", I always help the poor dears out by saying "that's 10 and 7 pence" so they know what to ring into the till *.

              I don't suppose they are cashiers by virtue of their mental maths ability

              * Perhaps I should try the Derren Brown approach and tell them it's "20 and 7"

              Comment


                #8
                Reverting back to to the subject of the thread, CyberTwunt has started his posts for today.
                Hard Brexit now!
                #prayfornodeal

                Comment


                  #9
                  Reverting back to the subject of the thread, that makes 4 of you then.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by sasguru View Post
                    Reverting back to to the subject of the thread, CyberTwunt has started his posts for today.
                    Originally posted by Platypus View Post
                    Reverting back to the subject of the thread, that makes 4 of you then.
                    Reverting. Reverting back is tautology.

                    Comment

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