Oh dear: Auditors reject EU accounts again

[Joe Black]

"For the eleventh year in a row, the European Union's annual accounts have failed to gain a seal of approval from the EU's own auditors."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4438888.stm

[wendigo100]

The auditors said the vast majority of spending was still affected by "errors of legality and regularity".

This is no better than a tin-pot banana republic in Africa or South America.

What do the europhiles on here have to say about it? Not a lot I'd wager.

[wendigo100]

The auditors' report pointed out that a lot of EU spending is "high risk", in that you have to rely on people spending it as they have promised to.

However, a finance ministers' meeting chaired by UK Chancellor Gordon Brown last week rejected the Commission's request for them personally to sign off on their country's EU spending.

That tells you all you need to know about the EU, and about New Labour's subservience to it.

[Rebecca Loos]

do you think that if Gordon Brown's accounts were audited, they'd pass?The UK is not better than the EU I suspect

[The Lone Gunman]

Isnt it amazing.

If we were to misrepresent our accounts in such a way we would be locked up for a long time.

Govt. and Councils seem immune from prosecution when presenting accounts, much in the same way they are immune from prosecution when they throw our money at projects which many would regard as fraudulent misuse.

So many of these people are only in politics because they cant hack it in the real world and yet they seem to think they are capable of being responsible for budgets of billions.

[Board Game Geek]

Transcriptfrom the EU Meeting

Hello !

My faithful rodent spy, Roland, managed to infiltrate the hallowed wood-panelled walls of the aforementioned meeting. Here is his rat-recorded story.

GB : "Good morning gentleman, and welcome to the annual review of EU budget auditing."

FM (Assorted Finance Ministers from the EU) :"Morning All"

GB : "Right, let's get right down to business. Chocolate digestives or pink wafers ?"

FM 1 :"Well, I suppose we should demonstrate some level of prudence in our morning tea and biscuit routine, so I think I'll opt for the pink wafers. They are eminently more cost effective, albeit at the expense of flavour and overall satisfaction."

<hushed silence>

GB : "I would like to remind the Minister that meeting room refreshments are exempt from public scrutiny and auditor's accounts."

<the door opens in comes Keira Knightly dressed as a saucy French Maid, pushing a silver trolley laiden with a veritable cornucopia of mouthwatering hand-made biscuits from around the EU, all wrapped in gold leaf, tastefully arranged on Tang Dynasty china plates>

<assorted smiles>

GB : Right, now that's out of the way, I suppose we best get down to the other business. It's that time of year of again."

FM2 : "What, Christmas ?"

GB : "No…well, yes…but no. I mean, the external auditors want to sift through the books again.”

<collective sighs and groans>

GB : “I know, I know, it’s a pain in the proverbials. They want us to account for EU spending during the last year.”

<sniggers all round>

FM1 : “Well, the official figures we gave the auditors was that the EU budget last year came to about 100bn euros (£67bn), of which 44bn euros was spent on agriculture. “

GB : “And ?”

FM1 : “Well, it was closer to 500bn euros, give or take a couple of billion.”

GB : “Good grief man ! That’s 5 times more than our best estimate !”

FM2 : “May I interject at this point, and say that this additional budget was very useful.”

GB : “What did we spend it on ?”

<looks of childish embarrassment>

FM1 : “Er, we don’t quite rightly know. It sort of, disappeared.”

GB : “In the name of all that is good and holy, how can we lose 400 billion euros ?”

FM2: “Well, rest assured Chancellor, we didn’t so much as lose it, as more lose track of it. I’m sure someone, somewhere has got it, and it’s probably being put to good use.”

FM3 : “Ja, we have new scheme on Autobahn to meet animal welfare demands. We have appointed Reichmarshall’s for Road Safety to help escort the little hedgehogs and frogs across the road. Of course, it is dangerous, so zey have to be given guns, and uniforms to make zem standout. And of course helmets to protect zeir poor little heads from flying stones from ze car wheels.”

FM2 : “How many of these Reichmarshall’s have you created now, Minister ?”

FM3 : Just a few, maybe no more zan 5 million.

FM2 : “5 million ? Good grief….you must have one every 10 feet of the Autobahn!”

FM3 : “Ja..vell, the little hedgehoggies and froggies are everywhere along ze road. We vanted to be thorough. Oh and ze Reichmarshall’s have ze cutest little cars to drive up and down the autobahn as they lead the little animals to safety”

FM 1 : “I saw one last week. It was 30 foot long, must have weighed about 20 tons, had thick armour plating, and a rather suspicious-looking massive pipe coming from a swivel top base”

FM3 : “Ah, zis are the roadside water and food distribution units. Ze food and ze wasser comes down ze pipe to ensure ze little creatures are kept happy and well.”

GB : “Surely that cannot account for 400 missing billions ? Any one else ?”

FM4 : “Si senor. We are spending, how you say, mucho money on the new housing projects you asked us for.”

GB : “Remind me, I seem to have forgotten that one.”

FM4 : “Si, senor. You wanted cheap and affordable housing for the English to be moved in to, so that their homes could be assigned to more voter-friendly immigrants in the UK.”

GB : “Ah yes, I remember. Ok, anyone else ?”

FM5 : “Oui. We have spent some monies in advance for July 14th 2006. It is the 100th anniversary of the Grand Prix in France, and the date also coincides with our national independence day weekend.”

GB : “What sort of figures are we talking about here ?”

FM5 : “About 100 billion euros.”

GB : “Goodness me, what are you doing ? Paving the race track with gold ?”
FM5 : “Well that was one suggestion, but we discounted it on terms of silliness. No monsieur, we are planning to rebuild the Eiffel Tower.”

GB : “But the Eiffel Tower is still standing ?”

FM5 : “Let’s just say it’s going to have a disagreement with gravity and gravity is going to win.”

GB : “Part of Project “Fear and Terror ?”

FM5 : “Oui”

GB : “I see. Nice idea. We’ll have to put our own plans on hold then. It would look a bit too suspicious if the Houses of Parliament have a disagreement with gravity too close to your own.”

FM5 : “Oui. Indeed”

GB : “Well gentleman, from what I’ve heard, we all seem to be on track with our spending, and it’s getting close to a comfort break. So what say you we draw a line under the budget reviews, keep the books closed for another year, and break for mid morning Chateau Lafitte and Truffles ?”

<unanimous agreement>

[AlfredJPruffock]

This is no better than a tin-pot banana republic in Africa or South America.

What do the europhiles on here have to say about it? Not a lot I'd wager.

Tremendous, there was some pesky auditor got the heave ho from Brussels a few years ago for declaring that the EU was akin to a Bank vault with its doors open.

This is music to my ears.

Just off with my shopping trolley to grab a few million Euros.

[Joe Black]

The poor chap just had a few mental health problems, thats all...the whole thing of there being any issue with the accounts was just a result of the problems he had at the time.

EC declared us mad so it could sack us, claim staff

"Just off with my shopping trolley to grab a few million Euros."

Don't blame you AJP. Since they reduced my subsidies for the 10,000 sheep I had in the backyard it's been difficult to keep going...

[wendigo100]

Tremendous, there was some pesky auditor got the heave ho from Brussels a few years ago for declaring that the EU was akin to a Bank vault with its doors open.

Marta Andreasen, who was ditched from her post as chief accountant at the European Commission in May 2002, says the Commission's numbers fail even to meet minimum accounting standards. She said: "The computer system on which the transactions are processed is incoherent, insecure and allows no audit trail. Officials can change numbers without leaving any kind of electronic trail, offering a standing temptation to fiddle the figures."

Ms Andreasen was moved to a job with few responsibilities on her old 125,000-euro salary after refusing to sign off on the Commission's 2001 accounts. She had been pressured to do so by senior officials, and faced disciplinary action initiated by Neil Kinnock, former UK Labour Party leader and Commission vice-president in charge of administration.



Paul van Buitenen, a Dutch member of the Commission's financial control unit, was suspended on half-pay in December 1999 after sending the European Parliament a damning report alleging fraud was more widespread than previously acknowledged.

[AlfredJPruffock]

Marta Andreasen, who was ditched from her post as chief accountant at the European Commission in May 2002, says the Commission's numbers fail even to meet minimum accounting standards. She said: "The computer system on which the transactions are processed is incoherent, insecure and allows no audit trail. Officials can change numbers without leaving any kind of electronic trail, offering a standing temptation to fiddle the figures."

Ms Andreasen was moved to a job with few responsibilities on her old 125,000-euro salary after refusing to sign off on the Commission's 2001 accounts. She had been pressured to do so by senior officials, and faced disciplinary action initiated by Neil Kinnock, former UK Labour Party leader and Commission vice-president in charge of administration.



Paul van Buitenen, a Dutch member of the Commission's financial control unit, was suspended on half-pay in December 1999 after sending the European Parliament a damning report alleging fraud was more widespread than previously acknowledged.

Tis a good job these tree hugging do gooders have been given the boot, like all organisations its just petty envy that theses losers and neer do wells didnt have their noses as fully into the trough as others , by their own acumen, have succssefully managed.

Now then.

Where did I put me shopping trolley ?

PS anybody knows who designed the computer system in question ?

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells ...

PS JB the sheep scam is old hat , its goats you want to claim for these days, upto 30k no questions will be asked