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View Full Version : Leona Lewis given a black eye



TimberWolf
15th October 2009, 07:51
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8307616.stm

After punching her, the fist wielding maniac said "I love you, Leona!", to which her reply was "I don't love you!". A witness said the man didn't seem right in the head.

Simon 'doctor' Cowell anxiously phoned when he heard the news. "He wanted to speak to her to make sure she was ok and ask if there was anything he could do."


Very sad, country going to pot, etc.

Scary
15th October 2009, 08:06
Well he phoned her, but what do you tell a woman with a black eye?

ChimpMaster
15th October 2009, 08:16
Well he phoned her, but what do you tell a woman with a black eye?

"Congrats you're famous now" ?

Spacecadet
15th October 2009, 08:20
Well he phoned her, but what do you tell a woman with a black eye?

Don't do it again?

Scary
15th October 2009, 08:24
Nothing, she's already been told.

Numpty
15th October 2009, 08:29
Well he phoned her, but what do you tell a woman with a black eye?


A tedious 1970s punchline.


Another response not becoming of an IT professionals web site.

Hey, come on lads. That stuff's not funny any more.

TimberWolf
15th October 2009, 08:31
Hey, come on lads. That stuff's not funny any more.

Okay, why would someone have two black eyes?

TheFaQQer
15th October 2009, 08:48
Do Chris Martin Next, says everyone (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/do-chris-martin-next,-says-everyone-200910152140/)

Scary
15th October 2009, 08:53
Do Chris Martin Next, says everyone (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/do-chris-martin-next,-says-everyone-200910152140/)

Hey! Black eyes are no laughing matter!

fckvwls
15th October 2009, 08:55
Do Chris Martin Next, says everyone (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/do-chris-martin-next,-says-everyone-200910152140/)

If someone is going round spanking pop stars on the noggin, I have a list.
"Bono, obviously - I'll lend you the cricket bat; Robbie Williams - I've just always wanted to make him cry; and Paul McCartney - you should swipe at him with a leg of lamb.
:rollin:

TimberWolf
15th October 2009, 08:56
Do Chris Martin Next, says everyone (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/celebrity/do-chris-martin-next,-says-everyone-200910152140/)

I've no idea who Chris Martin is, but Robbie Williams should definitely be in the top 10.

Clarky
15th October 2009, 09:03
...and Paul McCartney - you should swipe at him with a leg of lamb.
:rollin:

I think that already happened, although she was mutton dressed as lamb and it was made of plastic...

Diestl
15th October 2009, 09:06
This was obviously engineered by Cowell and Clifford, pay some out of work actor to smack LL for a few hundred quid. Hey presto her and her book is in the front pages. Clever.:spank::banana:

hyperD
15th October 2009, 09:30
It's great isn't it?

The only two options that garner any belief are that either that this government has run out of cash and has unlocked the nuthouses and allowed the freaks to roam around unhindered, or that this is some cynical stunt to boost profit.

Welcome to UK 2009, where we don't give a shit but pay you for thinking it.

thunderlizard
15th October 2009, 11:28
Simon 'doctor' Cowell anxiously phoned when he heard the news

Phoned? What kinda daddy he? Him shouda be look afta him bittchiz and slap that John down!

Leona want representation from a real daddy, she wanna call on old Thunder Lizard Slim. :glasses

TimberWolf
15th October 2009, 11:36
Phoned? What kinda daddy he? Him shouda be look afta him bittchiz and slap that John down!

Leona want representation from a real daddy, she wanna call on old Thunder Lizard Slim. :glasses

I imagine her minders would have loved to have done a bit of learning on him themselves. As it is, the perp thought the episode amusing as he was led away laughing. He'd patiently queued for 3 hours to thump her too :freaky:

daviejones
16th October 2009, 14:56
Didn't she already have black eyes?

DaveB
16th October 2009, 15:00
According to a report on the radio earlier he was an X-Factor reject and was sectioned shortly afterwards :freaky:

minestrone
16th October 2009, 15:16
According to a report on the radio earlier he was an X-Factor reject and was sectioned shortly afterwards :freaky:

There are a load of freaks that turn up for that show and it's probably not a good idea how they lead them on for a bit to get them to make arses of themsleves for Saturday night entertainment. Still, it makes great TV.

BrowneIssue
16th October 2009, 15:19
According to a report on the radio earlier he was an X-Factor reject and was sectioned shortly afterwards :freaky::confused: An X-Factor reject?

DaveB
16th October 2009, 15:23
:confused: An X-Factor reject?

Oh yeah (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHn1n0JJiFc&feature=PlayList&p=451D17ACB8AF4E62&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=16)

30 sec's in....

TimberWolf
16th October 2009, 15:28
Oh yeah (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHn1n0JJiFc&feature=PlayList&p=451D17ACB8AF4E62&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=16)

30 sec's in....

Ouch! What he did didn't seem possible on the 1st, 2nd and third viewing.

Diestl
16th October 2009, 15:58
Ouch! What he did didn't seem possible on the 1st, 2nd and third viewing.

Poor guy did you seem him after how his face was all mishap....... ah thats his real face.

thunderlizard
16th October 2009, 16:15
Borders just emailed me with an exclusive offer - signed copy of Leona Lewis's new book, edition of 1,000.

£40!

Now, that's no excuse for lamping her one, but it's sailing close to the wind.

:fight:

TimberWolf
16th October 2009, 17:39
Poor guy did you seem him after how his face was all mishap....... ah thats his real face.

It's incredible how much damage a young man can sustain and not only not end up a cripple, but shrug it off. I know I was the same. Not only do you feel indestructible at that age, but to a certain extent you really are. As a teenager I once saw a chap fall out of a tree onto a lower thick branch, back first. The general idea was to dive or jump into the river, but he fell. He fell about 5 metres and hit the branch incredibly badly, his back bowed the wrong way, and shrugged it off. Sort of.

moorfield
16th October 2009, 23:27
I wouldn't mind giving Leona a purple eye.



(Now where did I leave my coat I wonder?)