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HAB’s Diary

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    HAB’s Diary

    Monday 30 November 2009

    I did wake at 7 of the clock with the assistance of the timepiece in my bed chamber. As is normal of a gentleman of my advanced years at that time of the morn, my first thoughts were to make use of the water closet. This I did and brought great relief. A tempest was assaulting the window pains of my bed chamber and the moody clouds brought a melancholy aspect to dim light. I have vowed to no rise in darkness so I retreated back to my bed.

    My wireless apparatus is a fine device and I derive great pleasure from the bountiful miscellany of stations it does convey. Rather than listen to some minstrels playing the latest popular ballad, or some light classical arrangement, I did choose a news and current affairs programme on the Home Service that has the title of ‘Today’. A young lady did relay news from around the world that is most distressing; there is much suffering all around us. The hosts of this programme do a grave disservice to their patrons as they present each topic they discuss solely with a very liberal aspect; it is most vexatious.

    At about eight of the clock I did rise again and leave my bed chamber, but not before I opened the window to allow the egress of the foul odious vapours that have accumulated throughout the night from my flatulence.

    I made my way to the kitchen where I began the preparation of my coffee. I live a solitary bachelor life without the assistance of a cook, maid, or even a man servant. Impecuniary does prohibit the provision of such services which one would normally expect. I do confess that my humble status does attract much ridicule as I demonstrate a level of extreme incompetency in my feeble attempts at performing those tasks myself.
    How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.

    Follow me on Twitter - LinkedIn Profile - The HAB blog - New Blog: Mad Cameron
    Xeno points: +5 - Asperger rating: 36 - Paranoid Schizophrenic rating: 44%

    "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to high office" - Aesop

    #2
    is that you Rimmer?
    Coffee's for closers

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by HairyArsedBloke View Post
      My wireless apparatus
      You never said you'd had a vasectomy!
      And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

      Comment


        #4
        Have you had your telegram from the Queen yet today?
        My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by HairyArsedBloke View Post
          Monday 30 November 2009

          As is normal of a gentleman of my advanced years at that time of the morn, my first thoughts were to make use of the wanking spanners. This I did and brought great relief..
          fixed that for ya!

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