Heinz Numberetti - who do I sue?

[RichardCranium]

I've just had Heinz Numberetti spaghetti shapes on toast.

The can shows sums being done with spaghetti numerals.

I thought the can would contain numerals and, at the very least, the basic arithmetic symbols. But no. Only numerals.

So I couldn't make any sums with my Numberetti spaghetti.

I have checked the can: the sums have chalk arithmetic symbols and spaghetti numerals.

I'm traumatised. I feel like I have been abused, robbed and conned.

Do I go straight to the European Court of Human Rights or do I use one of those "no win no fee" people first?


(PS I ate them all so I shall have to buy another can tonight so the press can take photos of me with a part-eaten lunch and looking sad. Can I add the cost of the 2nd can to my claim?)

[TheFaQQer]

You need to chop the numbers up to make your own -, +, x and / signs.

HTH.

[Pondlife]

The only bit missing was the chalk, no?

Have you checked the ingredients in case it was broken up in transit and accidentally consumed.

[tenpin]

Apart from the chopping to make the arithmetic symbols, I like to mix in a tin of alphabeti spaghetti and do algebra. And a third tin of plain spaghetti helps to make integration and square root symbols.

[EternalOptimist]

You could use original spaghetti to explain super-string theory

[TimberWolf]

I can't believe no one has mentioned needing a decimal point yet How else can you set the world record for creating the longest sequence of PI from a single can of soup?

[Mich the Tester]

Apart from the chopping to make the arithmetic symbols, I like to mix in a tin of alphabeti spaghetti and do algebra. And a third tin of plain spaghetti helps to make integration and square root symbols.

Heinz could make some money by combining all these features into one tin of 'Geekeretti'.

[RichardCranium]

You need to chop the numbers up to make your own -, +, x and / signs.

Not good enough. The symbols should be in the can.

The only bit missing was the chalk, no? Have you checked the ingredients in case it was broken up in transit and accidentally consumed.

Not good enough. Maybe I did eat it, but how are you supposed to write with a piece of chalk on buttered toast that has tomatoey sauce on it?

Apart from the chopping to make the arithmetic symbols, I like to mix in a tin of alphabeti spaghetti and do algebra. And a third tin of plain spaghetti helps to make integration and square root symbols.

Not good enough. I'm not ready for a pasta degree; I was pacing myself and wanting to do GCSE level arithmetic.

You could use original spaghetti to explain super-string theory

Not good enough. I don't need a PhD in Physics. I need closure.

I can't believe no one has mentioned needing a decimal point yet How else can you set the world record for creating the longest sequence of PI from a single can of soup?

IT GETS WORSE! The pain, oh the pain!

Heinz could make some money by combining all these features into one tin of 'Geekeretti'.

And they should be made to and GIVE ME THE PROFITS. FOREVER.



I have been deprived, held back and I need compensation.

Imagine if a child had opened it, it would be in tears, damaged for life, never able to do sums ever again, it would STARVE and DIE.

I DEMAND MY RIGHTS! Think of the children! Heinz must be punished! And I must be given lots of money as an example to others.

The money isn't important to me, of course, it's the principle. But it is a BIG principle - this is about abuse of small children - so I need lots of compensation.


Should I phone Max Clifford?

[Halcyon]

You need to chop the numbers up to make your own -, +, x and / signs.

HTH.

How can you do calculus without greek letters, where can I get a tin of αλφάβητοi-spaghetti

[Mich the Tester]

Believe it or not, there is already an established internet campaign working on this most pressing of issues. I'm sure there's some dough to be made if you join in.

http://poopandboogies.blogspot.com/2...eric-soup.html