PDA

View Full Version : If you don't beat your child, then they're destined to failure



NotAllThere
5th January 2010, 11:40
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6974059.ece


A smacked child ‘is a successful child’

A study suggests chastised youngsters do better in life

Young children smacked by their parents may grow up to be happier and more successful than those who have never been hit, a study has found.

According to the research, children smacked up to the age of six were likely as teenagers to perform better at school and were more likely to carry out volunteer work and to want to go to university than their peers who had never been physically disciplined.

Only those children who continued to be smacked into adolescence showed clear behavioural problems.

Children’s groups and MPs have tried several times to have physical chastisement by parents outlawed. They claim it is a form of abuse that causes long-term harm to children and say banning it would send a clear signal that violence is unacceptable.

Spacecadet
5th January 2010, 11:43
http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/l...cle6974059.ece

Your link doesn't work
:spank:

BrilloPad
5th January 2010, 11:44
Of course the fact that maybe parents who care enough to smack also care enough to push their children on has not occured to anyone.

Where is sasguru to heap abuse on all these stupid statisticians who want a good gazzaing?

NotAllThere
5th January 2010, 11:49
Your link doesn't work
:spank:

Does now. Thank-you for bringing me back into line and thereby ensuring my success.

Pogle
5th January 2010, 11:53
Of course the fact that maybe parents who care enough to smack also care enough to push their children on has not occured to anyone.

Where is sasguru to heap abuse on all these stupid statisticians who want a good gazzaing?

WTF?!!

Spacecadet
5th January 2010, 11:55
WTF?!!

care enough to put personal squemishness aside give the child a smack when required to

BrilloPad
5th January 2010, 11:57
WTF?!!

Excellent. A very eloquent post. More like this please.

:rolleyes:

Why did I bother popping into cuk today?

Board Game Geek
5th January 2010, 12:03
Regular beatings with a horse-whip never did me any harm.

It was when my parents found a copy of "S&M Monthly" that the beatings stopped and they figured out why I used to play up so much. :smile

Pogle
5th January 2010, 12:08
Excellent. A very eloquent post. More like this please.

:rolleyes:

Why did I bother popping into cuk today?


I do not beat my child - so the implication is that I am not a caring parent.
What a load of utter utter bollocks.

Platypus
5th January 2010, 12:19
I do not beat my child - so the implication is that I am not a caring parent.

Bad mommy Pogle :mad:

Baby P's parents were obviously very caring :rolleyes:

Moscow Mule
5th January 2010, 12:26
Bit emotive for a dull Tuesday, but there's a world of difference between a slap on the wrist, administered for chastisement when the naughty step fails to crushing of a skull for shits and giggles.

Troll
5th January 2010, 12:27
I do not beat my child - so the implication is that I am not a caring parent.
What a load of utter utter bollocks.You should always use force as a last resort- a kind of nuclear option - but you do need it in your arsenal

Issue warnings up to the final warning with a change to your voice tone to indicate that the threshold has been reached.

If the child persists then administer a sharp smack with your palm to the buttocks or exposed legs of sufficient force to cause reddening of the skin, playful taps will not suffice.

As the childs age progresses & to get the desired effect you will have to substitute a slipper for your palm.

You will not enjoy doing it but you are teaching the child that there are boundaries to their behaviour.



HTH

Board Game Geek
5th January 2010, 12:35
You will not enjoy doing it but you are teaching the child that there are boundaries to their behaviour.
HTH

Indeed.

Father : What's that errant son of mine been doing now ?
Mother : He's been tying the cat's legs together.
Father : Right, come here Adolf...

Oh how things could have turned out differently....

Scary
5th January 2010, 12:36
"I wondered then, as I wonder now, if he might not have turned out a very different boy indeed if you had administrated a few fatal beatings earlier."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBeguUvuDzs

Troll
5th January 2010, 12:43
Indeed.

Father : What's that errant son of mine been doing now ?
Mother : He's been tying the cat's legs together.
Father : Right, come here Adolf...

Oh how things could have turned out differently.......his dad was known for being quick tempered and brutal -not (I hope) what I described

EternalOptimist
5th January 2010, 12:48
<twitch>
I was battered as a child
<twitch>
Never did ME any harm
<twitches uncontrollably>




:rolleyes:

BlackenedBiker
5th January 2010, 13:03
I was battered regularly as a child by my father (public schoolboy type)

It is true I am a "success".

That is because I am driven by fear, generally of failure. I find it hard to be content, I always want the next thing.

Contentment eludes me unless I work really hard at it.


The point is success doesn't equate to happiness, and that is what we should want for our children first and foremost.

Don't hit kids. (please)

NotAllThere
5th January 2010, 13:10
There is a difference between smacking and battering.


care enough to put personal squemishness aside give the child a smack when required to

While I don't think smacking is in anyway wrong, unfair or uncivilized, I'm pretty sure it's possible to bring up most kids to be decent without smacking. What I've found is that those parents who are most anti-smacking are also those who barely discipline their kids at all.

If you don't discipline your children (with or without smacking), then you are not caring for them. And you care more about your own feelings than the welfare of your child.

If a child has been brought up a selfish bastard, not knowing right from wrong, when they enter real life, which is unfair, nasty and doesn't owe you a living, they'll get a horrible shock.

sasguru
5th January 2010, 13:12
Excellent. A very eloquent post. More like this please.

:rolleyes:

Why did I bother popping into cuk today?


WGAS. Next. HTH

Spacecadet
5th January 2010, 13:18
If a child has been brought up a selfish bastard, not knowing right from wrong, when they enter real life, which is unfair, nasty and doesn't owe you a living, they'll get a horrible shock.

In certain lines of work that can be an advantage

Paddy
5th January 2010, 13:23
Indeed.

Father : What's that errant son of mine been doing now ?
Mother : He's been tying the cat's legs together.
Father : Right, come here Adolf...

Oh how things could have turned out differently....

Off topic but, Adolph Hitler was an animal lover and was fond of children (if they were Germanic)

Smacking kids equating to success does not follow what I see in supermarkets with angry chav mothers smacking their kids.

NotAllThere
5th January 2010, 13:25
In certain lines of work that can be an advantage Yes. I was thinking of MPs as I wrote it...


...
Smacking kids equating to success does not follow what I see in supermarkets with angry chav mothers smacking their kids. Where I live, it's the angry chav mothers not bringing their kids into line that causes the problems.

Lockhouse
5th January 2010, 13:36
I always viewed smacking as a type of nuclear deterrent. The threat was all that was usually necessary and I can count the total number of times I smacked the kids on one hand. It's not something I enjoyed having to do - ever. Smacking was usually instantaneous when directly encountering a severe offence - like throwing stones at a cat for example. If I'd have time to think about it, I'd always come up with a more suitable punishment. So saying that; I do believe that kids need to be trained; they need to be able to function within society and I believe it's the duty of parents and not the school to ensure this is the case. To this end you need the carrot as well as the stick - but only the metaphorical stick.

Pogle
5th January 2010, 13:46
I think smacking a child usually comes out of the parents frustration, anger and lack of self control.

I have myself in the past felt like I wanted to hit my child, but i consider myself civilised and have not.
That doesn't mean she isn't punished when she's done something wrong.

Both myself & Mr P had fathers who were very short tempered and handy with their fists. That is why we will never use physical violence on our child.
And NO being hit regularly did NOT make us better people, it just made us certain not to do the same to our children.

SueEllen
5th January 2010, 13:46
So saying that; I do believe that kids need to be trained; they need to be able to function within society and I believe it's the duty of parents and not the school to ensure this is the case. To this end you need the carrot as well as the stick - but only the metaphorical stick.

It's the duty of both to maintain discipline and anyone who looks after the kids in the meantime. Kids will try it on with everyone who looks after them and once they realise they have to behave everywhere they don't do it. And you don't have to smack kids to ensure this.

I've met and been told of plenty of kids who will only behave with one person, however random that person is in their life. This causes problems for everyone else for example a friend of mine use to have neighbour's kids who would frequently be seen doing dangerous things. If she told them off they wouldn't do it but if their parents did they ignored them. So it got to the stage where the parents wouldn't even bother. Lucky for the kids they are still alive.

EternalOptimist
5th January 2010, 14:01
I smacked all my kids three times, after the blood curdling warnings failed. I never had to do it again.
First was running into the road without looking
Second was going off with strangers
Third was being lippy in front of an audience

Tis true that some of the nicest people I ever met did not get a smack, tis also true that some of the nicest people DID get a smack. Who knows how people will turn out. We do our best and its fingers crossed

People who pontificate with certainty about how others should live their lives give me the heeby jeebies


:rolleyes:

NotAllThere
5th January 2010, 14:51
I always viewed smacking as a type of nuclear deterrent. The threat was all that was usually necessary and I can count the total number of times I smacked the kids with one hand.

FTFY - "one (smack), two (smack), three (smack)... :wink


I think smacking a child usually comes out of the parents frustration, anger and lack of self control.I never smacked my kids when I had lost my temper. Most parents I know who smack also have this as a rule.

Probably as many smackers have broken this rule as non-smackers. It's that kind of hitting - out of frustration, anger, lack of self-control - that really isn't on.

I have tried to never even impose a punishment when I've lost my temper. Usually punishments imposed at such a time are out of all proportion to the offence.

We haven't smacked any of our children for years - possibly the youngest three years ago. We have a great relationship with our children (ages 12,14 and 18), they don't cower when I come home from work :ohwell. They still talk to us, their parents, and discuss what's going on with them. They still come to us with their problems. And they've learned how to take the piss out of us without crossing the line of disrespect. ( It's this last point I'm most proud of).

Troll
5th January 2010, 17:00
We haven't smacked any of our children for years - possibly the youngest three years ago. We have a great relationship with our children (ages 12,14 and 18), they don't cower when I come home from work :ohwell. They still talk to us, their parents, and discuss what's going on with them. They still come to us with their problems. And they've learned how to take the piss out of us without crossing the line of disrespect. ( It's this last point I'm most proud of).Exactly!!!... you trained them when they were young and are now reaping the benefits of well adjusted adolescents.

What people fail to grasp is that you cannot reason with a 2 year old

NickFitz
5th January 2010, 17:10
Off topic but, Adolph Hitler was an animal lover and was fond of children (if they were Germanic)


That's all right then (http://www.adolfthegreat.com/Trails-Life/AdolfPhotoTrail02.html) :rolleyes:


Adolf decided that he could never have children of his own, because the burden of following in his footsteps would be too harsh on them.

Thoughtful and modest :laugh

shaunbhoy
5th January 2010, 19:15
Never thought I'd see the day. In agreement with 2 Troll posts on the same topic.:frown

I'm off to kick the cat!!
:tantrum:

NotAllThere
5th January 2010, 21:49
Off topic but, Adolph Hitler... was fond of children... Yeah, but he could never eat a whole one.

norrahe
5th January 2010, 21:51
Yeah, but he could never eat a whole one.

Must explain the partial vegetarianism :grin