Who's been missing from the Forum lately?

[Spacecadet]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/l...re/8444134.stm

[fckvwls]

Expat
SallyAnne
TLG
Bogeyman

Edit: Those names were put there before I read the link!

[Zippy]

Why didn't the horse and donkey come forward sooner?

[Spacecadet]

Why didn't the horse and donkey come forward sooner?

Do you have any idea of how ashamed and humiliated they must have felt? It's taken them years to build up the courage and all you can do is criticise.

No wonder conviction rates are so low

[suityou01]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/l...re/8444134.stm

hornyhorse?

[Diver]

Mr Squires did not attend court and it was heard he had lost touch with Reality.

[RichardCranium]

What a funny thing to do to get one's oats; it must have been the last straw. He's clearly not stable.

But for a man in his 60s he must be a bit of a stud, partaking in such unbridled passion. Maybe it is his field.

Did the horse grass?

Is it horse-rustling to ride another man's horse? Either way, he'll be saddled with some kind of record.

The Judge wants to rein him in, and not for getting the bit between his teeth.

The Police will hunt for him; I wonder if it will be a long chase.

[EternalOptimist]

What a funny thing to do to get one's oats; it must have been the last straw. He's clearly not stable.

But for a man in his 60s he must be a bit of a stud, partaking in such unbridled passion. Maybe it is his field.

Did the horse grass?

Is it horse-rustling to ride another man's horse? Either way, he'll be saddled with some kind of record.

The Judge wants to rein him in, and not for getting the bit between his teeth.

The Police will hunt for him; I wonder if it will be a long chase.

going for the 'golden pun' 2010 award RC

[NickFitz]

The accused is (or was, before he did a runner) resident in one of the most wretched estates in Leicester - Braunstone North.

In the mid-Eighties, when council housing was in short supply, the city council placed advertisements in the local rag each week, begging people to ask to be housed there.

A couple I knew decided that this was their best bet at getting a council house and went for it. Their wait to get somewhere in all the other possible estates - some of which were themselves hellholes - was about five years; they were offered a three-bedroom house in Braunstone North within a fortnight.

When they turned up to take up occupancy on the due date, they found the front door nailed shut from the inside, the interior of the house trashed by the local youth, and a team of council workmen busily trying to rebuild their bathroom, kitchen, and so forth - the workmen were the ones who'd nailed the front door shut.

They extracted the nails and moved their stuff into the bits of the house they could use; the workmen had got the bathroom sorted out on the first day so, although they still had only a ruin for a kitchen and graffiti on the living room walls, they at least had a toilet and a bath, and started to settle in.

When the workmen left, they nailed the front door shut again, from the inside. Questioned as to why, the foreman explained that it was necessary in case the new occupants went out: the local vandals would go along the street kicking the front door of any house that appeared to be, or was recently, unoccupied, but were usually too lazy to go round the back.

After a week or so the council workmen finished the job, and word had spread that the house was now occupied; so rather than worrying about being vandalised, my friends only had to worry about being burgled, which (oddly enough) didn't happen so often, though still more frequently than one would wish.

Nonetheless, the abiding image for me is of the phone box down the street. In the Eighties, entering a phone box to find the phone vandalised was an all too common occurrence. In this case the phone was completely untouched. The phone box itself, however, was lying on its side in somebody's front garden, several yards from its original location where the severed cables still poked up from the ground.

It's no wonder this chap wanted a hobby that got him away from that estate

[SizeZero]

I'm still wondering how he did criminal damage to the donkeys. Are they so much more valuable when they're virgins?