• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Help needed with nightmare

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Help needed with nightmare

    Two nights ago I dreamt that Gordon Brown had disappeared and Mandelson was persuading everyone that he (Mandelson) was revered as probably the best politician in history and therefore we should all vote Labour.

    And people believed this and pledged their votes, even you lot on here. I was possibly the only one who didn't.

    I'm struggling to remember what happened next. As you lot were in this dream - can any of you tell me?

    #2
    "It is said that in the final days of Planet Earth, everyone had bad dreams."
    How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror.

    Follow me on Twitter - LinkedIn Profile - The HAB blog - New Blog: Mad Cameron
    Xeno points: +5 - Asperger rating: 36 - Paranoid Schizophrenic rating: 44%

    "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to high office" - Aesop

    Comment


      #3
      Was there a shower scene with you, JR and Bobby Ewing in it?
      "Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." - Orson Welles

      Norrahe's blog

      Comment


        #4
        Were there gladiators?
        Confusion is a natural state of being

        Comment


          #5
          Seen too many horror movies lately?

          Originally posted by norrahe View Post
          Was there a shower scene with you, JR and Bobby Ewing in it?
          Originally posted by Diver View Post
          Were there gladiators?
          Was the shower scene set in a Turkish prison?
          Behold the warranty -- the bold print giveth and the fine print taketh away.

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Doggy Styles View Post
            I'm struggling to remember what happened next.
            A week before the election, the expenses claims for the shadow cabinet for the past five years are posted anonymously to the newsdesk of the Telegraph. Nothing has been deleted and all email correspondence arguing the details are included.

            Once 3/8ths of the results of the General Election are in, BBC correspondent Fred Bloggs jokingly mentions "According to an email from a Mrs Trellis in North Wales, if these figures are extrapolated across the country, it seems there has been 117% turnout." He is taken ill shortly after and Moira Stuart completes the reporting. No numbers are mentioned; when this gets queries by a presenter, Moira quips "I'm sure people aren't interested in that much detail, its the re-election that matters". Due to a technical problem, there is no recording kept of this broadcast.

            After the General Election, a number of Returning Officers complain to the press about 'irregularities'. They are immediately dismissed as they are responsible for ensuring there are no irregularities. The details are never revealed and the story does not come up again.

            Gordon Brown's body is found in a shallow grave in one of the properties owned by Tony Blair's complex overseas corporate structure. A hastily arranged closed inquiry concludes 'misadventure' and mentions 'depression brought about by overwork and a guilty conscience'. Earl Blair can show he was touring the USA at the time of any unpleasantness; the Met Police say there is no evidence linking anything to anyone ever anywhere.


            I can't remember much else.
            My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
              A week before the election, the expenses claims for the shadow cabinet for the past five years are posted anonymously to the newsdesk of the Telegraph. Nothing has been deleted and all email correspondence arguing the details are included.

              Once 3/8ths of the results of the General Election are in, BBC correspondent Fred Bloggs jokingly mentions "According to an email from a Mrs Trellis in North Wales, if these figures are extrapolated across the country, it seems there has been 117% turnout." He is taken ill shortly after and Moira Stuart completes the reporting. No numbers are mentioned; when this gets queries by a presenter, Moira quips "I'm sure people aren't interested in that much detail, its the re-election that matters". Due to a technical problem, there is no recording kept of this broadcast.

              After the General Election, a number of Returning Officers complain to the press about 'irregularities'. They are immediately dismissed as they are responsible for ensuring there are no irregularities. The details are never revealed and the story does not come up again.

              Gordon Brown's body is found in a shallow grave in one of the properties owned by Tony Blair's complex overseas corporate structure. A hastily arranged closed inquiry concludes 'misadventure' and mentions 'depression brought about by overwork and a guilty conscience'. Earl Blair can show he was touring the USA at the time of any unpleasantness; the Met Police say there is no evidence linking anything to anyone ever anywhere.


              I can't remember much else.
              After that RC, the members of CUK, and CUK itself are found "in the woods", after an apparent suicide pact, involving a pair of garden shears.

              Daubed in blood on a tree are the words,

              "SKA News coming soon..."
              Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.

              C.S. Lewis

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Board Game Geek View Post
                After that RC, the members of CUK are found "in the woods, dressed as Gladiators", after an apparent suicide pact, involving a pair of garden shears.

                Daubed in blood on a tree are the words,

                "SKA News coming soon..."
                FTFY
                Confusion is a natural state of being

                Comment


                  #9
                  I can't decide who is the biggest c**t, brown or mandy

                  anyway, the last dream thingy i had and posted on here came true so

                  <insert twighlight zone music> or something from the crystal method

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Doggy Styles View Post

                    I'm struggling to remember what happened next. As you lot were in this dream - can any of you tell me?
                    Look in the mirror and say "Snot Goblin" 5 times and you'll remember everything.

                    I double dare you.

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X