Man catches carp the weight of Kylie Minogue

[AtW]

Brit Mr Locke jumped out of his lakeside tent at 6am in temperatures of -3C to net the monster fish that tipped the scales at 94lbs.

The enormous mirror carp weighed the same as Kylie Minogue and beat the previous record by 3lbs.

More from the "right-wing" Torygraph.

[TimberWolf]

Call that minnow a carp. This is a carp. Well, perch actually.

[TimberWolf]

The enormous mirror carp weighed the same as Kylie Minogue and beat the previous record by 3lbs.

Can it sing as well as Kylie Minogue though?

[RichardCranium]

Is that the new unit for mass? The Kylie?

So it's Wales for area, buses for volume, football pitches for length, milliHelens for beauty and Kylies for mass.

What other units are there?

[TimberWolf]

Is that the new unit for mass? The Kylie?

So it's Wales for area, buses for volume, football pitches for length, milliHelens for beauty and Kylies for mass.

What other units are there?

It's not as pretty as a Kylie.

[VectraMan]

Is that the new unit for mass? The Kylie?

So it's Wales for area, buses for volume, football pitches for length, milliHelens for beauty and Kylies for mass.

What other units are there?

I think we should use Kylies for everything: height, length, distance, weight and mass, area, both volume AND volume. Not quite sure what constitutes 1 Kylies worth of pressure, voltage, current, flow, force, energy, or for that matter time, but I'm sure somebody could work out a reasonable method for calculating it.

I'm going to pre-empt this new world order starting tomorrow by converting my car's speedo from miles per hour to Kylies per Kylie. Who's with me?

[stingman123]

Is there an opportunity somewhere for a hotpants measurement?Anything?

[RichardCranium]

Is there an opportunity somewhere for a hotpants measurement?Anything?

Units of curvature?

[Doggy Styles]

Brit Mr Locke jumped out of his lakeside tent at 6am in temperatures of -3C to net the monster fish that tipped the scales at 94lbs.

That's not a real carp. It's one of those steroid-bloated things from fish farms.

These fish should be banned from the record books. Like Ben Johnson, Tim Montgomery and Marion Jones.

Kylie, on the other hand, has a glorious arse. The Kylie should be a unit of arse gloriosity, on a scale going from zero to 1.0

[RichardCranium]

The Kylie should be a unit of arse gloriosity, on a scale going from zero to 1.0

I have been worrying about the symbl to use for this new unit, the Kylie. Clearly, neither K or k are satisfactory as it would cause no end of confusion with Kelvin and kilo.

But I have been inspired by your proposal, Doggy Styles, and so may I suggest a lower-case Omega as the symbol for the Kylie: ω