This is a true story. It is not for the faint hearted or the sqeamish.
Contains themes of extreme violence , blood and gore.
Contains nuts.
Years and years ago, when I was young and fit, I was a typical hard knock from Bootle in Liverpool. I had a couple of big advantages over the other tough guys though, I was very strong physically, broad shouldered, and I was quick in the head, lastly I had an awful lot of experience.
At the time of this story I was in my mid thirties and had been involved in brawls, mostly pub stuff, since I was eighteen, and I had never lost a punch up, never taken a beating, hardly ever had a glove laid on me in fact. I was invincible and hard as nails.
I had been divorced from my first wife for about eight years, but we still got on reasonably well, and we used to hook up now and then for a bonk for old times sake. She got herself a new boyfriend, a merchant seaman and we sort of eyed each other up warily. He knew I had been around while he was at sea, but he never mentioned it, very broad minded I guess.
Anyways, one night I popped in to see the ex-wife, drunk as a skunk, and he was there, her new husband. They had got married a few weeks earlier, and they were clearly having a row, he did not want me there. He started to get a bit shirty and asked me to leave.
Now this guy is about four inches shorter than me, ten years older and not quite as broad, so there was no danger of a fracas, it would have been suicide on his part to start. And me, being a hard case, did not pick on people who were littler. But, of course, it's allowed to take the p 1ss.
'You're not happy are you ?'
'No, now get out'
'Which one are you then? grumpy'
He lost his rag and pushed me hard in the chest, so I gave him a little tap in the stomache, just to knock him back on his heels, and to warn him off. I was amused more than anything else, in fact I was almost laughing out loud.
Next thing I was on my back with this little bloke raining blows down on my head. Half the time he punched the floor, as I dodged, half the time he hit my blocks. I was laughing like an idiot by now. He had absolutely no chance of hurting me. So I did a twist and a half roll, got a grip on his wrists and went to throw him down the stair well.
Except he stayed on top. And the blows continued. I couldnt believe it, he was actually stronger that me, must be all that labouring on the ships, heaving-to avasting and splicing the quarter deck.
For the first time ever, I thought I might be on the losing side, I felt the adrenaline, which had been flowing, surge. Then I saw stars, BANG, the ex wife had kicked me in the side of the head. Panic........
I threw myself up from the waist, he pushed down, I let myself go. He came crashing down on top, we were cheek to cheek. I got a bear hug on him then lunged.
He screamed loudly as my teeth met in the middle. As he pulled back I heard the tearing then my mouth filled up with blood. They both disappeared back into the flat on the run. I spat his ear out onto the ground and stood up groggily.
Knowing the ex wife, she was headed for the knife rack
So I beat a hasty
****not proud****
Contains themes of extreme violence , blood and gore.
Contains nuts.
Years and years ago, when I was young and fit, I was a typical hard knock from Bootle in Liverpool. I had a couple of big advantages over the other tough guys though, I was very strong physically, broad shouldered, and I was quick in the head, lastly I had an awful lot of experience.
At the time of this story I was in my mid thirties and had been involved in brawls, mostly pub stuff, since I was eighteen, and I had never lost a punch up, never taken a beating, hardly ever had a glove laid on me in fact. I was invincible and hard as nails.
I had been divorced from my first wife for about eight years, but we still got on reasonably well, and we used to hook up now and then for a bonk for old times sake. She got herself a new boyfriend, a merchant seaman and we sort of eyed each other up warily. He knew I had been around while he was at sea, but he never mentioned it, very broad minded I guess.
Anyways, one night I popped in to see the ex-wife, drunk as a skunk, and he was there, her new husband. They had got married a few weeks earlier, and they were clearly having a row, he did not want me there. He started to get a bit shirty and asked me to leave.
Now this guy is about four inches shorter than me, ten years older and not quite as broad, so there was no danger of a fracas, it would have been suicide on his part to start. And me, being a hard case, did not pick on people who were littler. But, of course, it's allowed to take the p 1ss.
'You're not happy are you ?'
'No, now get out'
'Which one are you then? grumpy'
He lost his rag and pushed me hard in the chest, so I gave him a little tap in the stomache, just to knock him back on his heels, and to warn him off. I was amused more than anything else, in fact I was almost laughing out loud.
Next thing I was on my back with this little bloke raining blows down on my head. Half the time he punched the floor, as I dodged, half the time he hit my blocks. I was laughing like an idiot by now. He had absolutely no chance of hurting me. So I did a twist and a half roll, got a grip on his wrists and went to throw him down the stair well.
Except he stayed on top. And the blows continued. I couldnt believe it, he was actually stronger that me, must be all that labouring on the ships, heaving-to avasting and splicing the quarter deck.
For the first time ever, I thought I might be on the losing side, I felt the adrenaline, which had been flowing, surge. Then I saw stars, BANG, the ex wife had kicked me in the side of the head. Panic........
I threw myself up from the waist, he pushed down, I let myself go. He came crashing down on top, we were cheek to cheek. I got a bear hug on him then lunged.
He screamed loudly as my teeth met in the middle. As he pulled back I heard the tearing then my mouth filled up with blood. They both disappeared back into the flat on the run. I spat his ear out onto the ground and stood up groggily.
Knowing the ex wife, she was headed for the knife rack
So I beat a hasty
****not proud****
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