• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Cuk Top Tip No 1 (with apologies to Viz)

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Cuk Top Tip No 1 (with apologies to Viz)

    In order to help the CUK congregation, I am going to be doing a series of CUK Top Tips (Viz stylee). Here's the first one.


    Why wait for the Queen's jubilee bank holiday in 2012?
    Simple don't invoice for a random day soon if you are a contractor or take a sickie if you are a permie

    HTH
    Hard Brexit now!
    #prayfornodeal

    #2
    Originally posted by sasguru View Post
    In order to help the CUK congregation, I am going to be doing a series of CUK Top Tips (Viz stylee). Here's the first one.


    Why wait for the Queen's jubilee bank holiday in 2012?
    Simple don't invoice for a random day soon if you are a contractor or take a sickie if you are a permie

    HTH
    Hilarious. I think a side has split.
    “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
      Hilarious. I think a side has split.
      Result! I've just got SB's shortest post yet
      One free from the usual nincompoopery.
      Hard Brexit now!
      #prayfornodeal

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by sasguru View Post
        Result! I've just got SB's shortest post yet
        One free from the usual nincompoopery.
        SG are you the love child of Quentin Crisp. "Nincompoopery FFS"
        Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.

        Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.

        Comment


          #5
          Here's another.

          An empty cigar case filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
          ‎"See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."

          Comment


            #6
            Never lose anything in your house ever again. Simply tie everything together with strong string and pull on it until the wanted article appears.
            “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by BlackenedBiker View Post
              are you the love child of Quentin Crisp
              Something tells me there won't be many of them...
              My all-time favourite Dilbert cartoon, this is: BTW, a Dumpster is a brand of skip, I think.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by RichardCranium View Post
                Something tells me there won't be many of them...
                SG is unique in that respect, I suspect however that this is not the only aspect of SGs character which is "special"
                Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.

                Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.

                Comment


                  #9
                  A potato makes an interesting, inexpensive and potentially functional replacement for a light bulb.

                  and .....

                  Try cutting the fingertips off a rubber kitchen glove to make an exciting peephole bra for your cow.

                  Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Acclimatise yourself before watching the London 2012 Olympics, by watching some videos of the Los Angeles 1984 Olympics, with the brightness setting turned down a bit.

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X