http://www.textsfromlastnight.com
"I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high."
"Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile."
"(513): How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
(1-513): The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well."
"Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door."
"I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high."
"Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile."
"(513): How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
(1-513): The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well."
"Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door."
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