Dear Richard @ Clientco
I am sorry for bothering you at work today.
When I telephoned you on your direct office line today to congratulate you on your new project and ask if you would need any staff, I was flabbergasted by your response.
In my 15 years of recruiting, we have recieved your email almost daily. You have applied for such roles as Prime Minister of Uganda, Nasa Rocket Scientist, Weapons of Mass Destruction investigator and Fluffer for Big Boy Productions. You have constantly changed your CV to perfectly match all of our requirements, which is surprising considering you are not qualified for these roles according to the 1st CV you sent us called 'Toilet Attendant'. When we have contacted you, your mum has said 'He's still in bed'. Even at four in the afternoon!
And that was why I was a bit lost for words today, when I phoned your number today expecting to speak to the Global Recruitement manager, I got yourself. I didnt catch your name and when you said you were the Chief Toilet attendant for Clientco, I immediately thought of the Richard Cranium we had on our CV list and would have put you forward for a role.
It is obviously with great regret that we were unable to come to an arrangement. I do have another CV on my list if your are interested who would be a perfect match, a Milan Benes.
So I am sorry for the intrusion, I did hear you mumble something in the background when I went to put the phone down, on playback it sounded like 'You've run out of toilet paper, I'll be right there', but as you say here 'it may have been f*** off'
Yours sincerely,
A Recruiter at Comp People.
I am sorry for bothering you at work today.
When I telephoned you on your direct office line today to congratulate you on your new project and ask if you would need any staff, I was flabbergasted by your response.
In my 15 years of recruiting, we have recieved your email almost daily. You have applied for such roles as Prime Minister of Uganda, Nasa Rocket Scientist, Weapons of Mass Destruction investigator and Fluffer for Big Boy Productions. You have constantly changed your CV to perfectly match all of our requirements, which is surprising considering you are not qualified for these roles according to the 1st CV you sent us called 'Toilet Attendant'. When we have contacted you, your mum has said 'He's still in bed'. Even at four in the afternoon!
And that was why I was a bit lost for words today, when I phoned your number today expecting to speak to the Global Recruitement manager, I got yourself. I didnt catch your name and when you said you were the Chief Toilet attendant for Clientco, I immediately thought of the Richard Cranium we had on our CV list and would have put you forward for a role.
It is obviously with great regret that we were unable to come to an arrangement. I do have another CV on my list if your are interested who would be a perfect match, a Milan Benes.
So I am sorry for the intrusion, I did hear you mumble something in the background when I went to put the phone down, on playback it sounded like 'You've run out of toilet paper, I'll be right there', but as you say here 'it may have been f*** off'
Yours sincerely,
A Recruiter at Comp People.
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