Who is the biggest Blagger on the site?

[Bagpuss]

Left school with no qualifications? BS on your CV? Learned all you need to know from idiots guides? Keep getting found out?


Detail your best blagger story here...


Best reply gets either

A group hug from the TPD crowd complete with a special friend badge

Or
A free cyber fight with the nasty CUK bullies

[MarillionFan]

It wasn't me, but it was the biggest eye opener to early 90's Consultancy I ever saw.

My first job from Uni was as a Rocket Scientist for a consultancy in London. While I was there (young fresh faced) there were some older consultants(contractors you could say) who at the time would get a cut of their consultancy rate. £400/£500 per day, while they were charged at £1200/£1500.

This particular consultant was a not un attractive girl, who's boyfriend was a local drugsdealer in Hackney. Sales, as they always did, told the client that they could deliver a project for them, only we didnt have anyone with that particular skill(I believe it was configuration of a particular application/server?)

Anyway, sales guy comes in Friday and tells the girl, I've got you the gig, you're there for 3 days, we're charging £1800 per day as it's very niche!! You'll get £2000!!!!

Shes looks really shocked and says 'I havent got a clue how that works!!', 'Thats fine, I've bought you the manuals' and chucks them across the desk. Anyway she looked visibily drawn. Bearing in mind, this was pre use of the internet as we know it)

End of the week I saw her and asked how she got on.

"Oh yeah, it was tough, but I managed it. I was in the server room with these 3 guys watching and taking notes on everything I did. So I hid the manuals in the womens toilet, and every ten minutes or so when I got stuck, I clutched my stomach and went, 'Sorry really bad cramps, you know womans problems' and I ran off to the toilet.'

And thats how she did it.

Now she had more bollocks than I have ever done!!!

[AtW]

My first job from Uni was as a Rocket Scientist for a consultancy in London.

Racket

Shirly?

[MarillionFan]

Racket

Shirley?

FTFY

[AtW]

Now she had more bollocks than I have ever done!!!

To be fair an average sized cockroach has got more bollocks than you will ever have.

All you can do is punch smaller people than you and bully noobs on CUK!

[MarillionFan]

To be fair an average sized cockroach has got more bollocks than you will ever have.

All you can do is punch smaller people than you and bully noobs on CUK!

Why am I posting to myself? I'm my own sockie?

Odd. I think I may be about to have a breakdown

[AtW]

Wibble.

[cojak]

To be fair an average sized cockroach has got more bollocks than you will ever have.

All you can do is punch smaller people than you and bully noobs on CUK!

<cough>

<polishes shiny new badge with sleeve>

[AtW]

<cough>

<polishes shiny new badge with sleeve>

[cojak]

You'd better believe it, big boy...