How do you handle a Bassett Hound?

[Wilmslow]

My missus has a bassett hound – the problem being that at night she has no problems about the hound lying on the bed. Bang between us.

Tried shifting the mutt last night but it growled at me – does not look cool to the missus when she turns around seeing the thing growl…….

I tried to encourage the not to come upstairs – the darned thing fell over and fell down the stairs despite my very gently southward nudge. Again, did not go down very well.

Her other dog with stomach problems decides to wretch and let one off just as things settled down with the hound, which was a rather damp squid to the night.

Maybe I will need to track down another girlfriend if we cannot sort this dog thing out………

[rsingh]

Maybe I will need to track down another girlfriend if we cannot sort this dog thing out………

Having taken so long to get this far, starting again is not really an option for you...

[doodab]

So the question is really how do you handle a woman who likes to share her bed with a dog?

[gricerboy]

Yawn... rubbish sockie

[Drewster]

This is a real test of your "Manhood"......

1) Make sure the Totty is somewhere else.... you need to assert yourself without her "interfering"
2) Stand 3ft in front of the dog and face it....
3) Get down on your hands and knees....
4) Make eye contact.....
5) Growl (and I mean growl as if you mean it!!)

Assuming you have any Bollix the dog will back down....
Once he has backed down you have been accepted as leader.... Now when it attempts to jump on your bed etc just move in front of it, make eye contact and gently growl.... He should pish off and leave you alone....

Another method is to Mount the dog to prove you are Boss..... I don't favour this method..... I have humped enough "real dogs" in my youth without humping "real dogs"......

[fullyautomatix]

Yawn... rubbish sockie

"Ironic" would be the term to use here.

[fullyautomatix]

My missus has a bassett hound – the problem being that at night she has no problems about the hound lying on the bed. Bang between us.

Tried shifting the mutt last night but it growled at me – does not look cool to the missus when she turns around seeing the thing growl…….

I tried to encourage the not to come upstairs – the darned thing fell over and fell down the stairs despite my very gently southward nudge. Again, did not go down very well.

Her other dog with stomach problems decides to wretch and let one off just as things settled down with the hound, which was a rather damp squid to the night.

Maybe I will need to track down another girlfriend if we cannot sort this dog thing out………

Encourage the mutt to hump her. That should do.

[chef]

chop up some red chilli's and let it lick your fingers just before going to bed..

NB: if the dog gets violently ill and thus gf spends the night calling out a 24hr vet and/or worrying then it's not my fault you followed advice from a stranger on the net

[doodab]

This is a real test of your "Manhood"......

1) Make sure the Totty is somewhere else.... you need to assert yourself without her "interfering"
2) Stand 3ft in front of the dog and face it....
3) Get down on your hands and knees....
4) Make eye contact.....
5) Growl (and I mean growl as if you mean it!!)

Assuming you have any Bollix the dog will back down....
Once he has backed down you have been accepted as leader.... Now when it attempts to jump on your bed etc just move in front of it, make eye contact and gently growl.... He should pish off and leave you alone....

Another method is to Mount the dog to prove you are Boss..... I don't favour this method..... I have humped enough "real dogs" in my youth without humping "real dogs"......

Alternatively, you could try one of those high frequency emitter doobries that freaks them out.

[doodab]

Encourage the mutt to hump her and post the video on the internet. That should do.

Although you may still have to look for a new girlfriend.