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Life

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    Life

    It's a bastard isn't it....

    I have visited a friend today to be informed that her young daughter, of the same age as mine funnily enough (5), has been diagnosed as terminal, waiting on more tests currently but essentially not going to reach adulthood either way, could be months or years depending on the result of the tests that are being carried out this week. One result, it's months, the other its possibly years.

    She has a very rare disease which acts like a cancer, so it spreads, but isn't a cancer so isn't treatable by means of chemo, etc. Symptoms started several months ago which a lack of energy etc., admitted to hospital, after a few months of overcoming first line support, to the childrens ward. Then they couldn't diagnose the disease because no one in that hospital had ever come across it. Anyhow several more months down the line they have realised what it is, and apparantly only a handful of cases in the country, and not many more worldwide, and no cure. They said they wished for a form of cancer.

    I wish I'd have written down the name but I have a bit of an aversity to diseases, as unfortunately I have a history of my own, and every time I see the quack it makes me feel like I only have weeks to live myself. It was expalained to me as a thickening of the membrane that enables the oxygen transfer to the blood in the lungs which has now spread to the heart causing the build up of fluid around that she has had to have drained for the last couple of months or so. pulminary-something or other, but then again I shut off a bit at that point - having been on a pulminary something or other ward for around a month or so reasonably recently.

    Don't know why I am posting here, maybe a glimpse of hope knowing what intelligent people you lot are, but I really do doubt her hopes,maybe just a vent to the straight talking people you seemto be. If medical researchers had the drive of a contractor in some situations - sink or swim sometimes- you JFDI. Then again it's driven by the funding isn't it.

    As an aside, and by the way I am writing this having seen off almost half a bottle of malt and I ain't finished yet, and yes I am a grown man crying, can I gift them the money for something as cheesy as a trip to disneyland or some such and claim the ******* tax back on it as fundamentally tax shouldn't be payable in such circumstances, shirley. Maybe I sould stick this in accouting.

    Maybe i'll sober up enough on the 5.50 to Euston in the morning.

    Sorry to vent here, I hope I don't upset anyone. Monday morning is a bastard at the best of times.

    Vent over and I was about to delete it as it's done it's job but ah well at least i'll get to read sober(ish) now.

    #2
    CT

    Humans have an overwhelming sense of belief in their ability to be able to make bad things right. Everyone has it, in some the sense is more heightened to give themselves over to exceptional acts of kindness or personal sacrifice, in others to be help financially, physically or emotionally, and finally in those to feel the pain & watch. The dulling of sensitivity to such 'bad things' through the use of media & internet means that on the whole you can be detached to all around. 10000s can die in Earthquakes or wars, acts of terrorism and natural disaster, and on the whole only the most sensitive are properly affected.

    When you know the person directly then that detachment does not take place.

    So your reaction is normal, your sadness & upset is proper and the feeling of wanting to help but feeling powerless is completely normal.

    I can't offer to say I feel your pain or offer words that help to dull it, but I all I will say is, help where you can and cherish the moments you have, your kids have and help where you can with your friends.

    Thats all that can be expected of anyone.
    What happens in General, stays in General.
    You know what they say about assumptions!

    Comment


      #3
      Can't begin to appreciate how awful that must feel to all involved.

      Right, pragmatic mode (you know us so well!)...

      Originally posted by conned tractor View Post
      can I gift them the money for something as cheesy as a trip to disneyland or some such and claim the ******* tax back on it
      There's no tax on personal gifts I think ..? but if you mean charity style giftaid, then do like this: The Neuroblastoma Alliance Team is fundraising for The 2Simple Trust - Sophie Atay Appeal - JustGiving *
      You're not allowed to have a registered charity set up just for the benefit of 1 specific person, but if you can find an existing relevant charity and get them to set up a subfund, then you can use their giftaid mechanism. (Check that with a proper person though).

      *I think there might have been a CUK thread on that subject. Don't bother finding it.

      Comment


        #4
        If venting helps, then do it by all means.

        No, life isn't fair sometimes. Most of us have a fair crack at it and get to have some worthwhile experiences (and ones you really could have done without!)

        If you can afford to treat the kid to a fun trip then do so. She'd probably have a whale of a time at a local theme park, so it doesn't need to be expensive. I'd say though that the most important thing is to continue being a good friend to her parents. Offer to help with practical things where you can - if they have other children then invite them round to play with yours. Offer to babysit or do their shopping/laundry/walk the dog so they can have a break from the mundane. Take her mum or dad out for a pint. You get the picture anyway.

        No magic wands and you can't change the inevitable, but you can help.
        +50 Xeno Geek Points
        Come back Toolpusher, scotspine, Voodooflux. Pogle
        As for the rest of you - DILLIGAF

        Purveyor of fine quality smut since 2005

        CUK Olympic University Challenge Champions 2010/2012

        Comment


          #5
          Thanks all.

          I was half expecting you lot to tell me to try mumsnet.

          Not many things get to me, but even though it's not my daughter, (and that may be a bad thing to say), this has tore me up.

          Comment


            #6
            I know how you are feeling, yesterday my mum told me she has been diagnosed & is terminal, life is a bitch
            Growing old is mandatory
            Growing up is optional

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