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View Full Version : Official request to repeat the B word at the airport



TimberWolf
16th July 2010, 11:29
So picture the scene, you're getting a bit fed up with being stripped, prodded, probed and herded through customs and a sound or flash sets off a touch of Tourettes (commonly known as sagurettes) and you release the "B" word [come to think of it customs would have field day with someone with Tourettes and that persons affliction might have discovered nirvana]. And the customs people ask you to repeat what you said. What do you do? Not what this guy did apparently:


A man who looked like a larger version of Charles Clarke appeared, loomed over me and demanded that I repeat what I had just said. I did so. Did I detect the traces of a smile around the edges of his mouth? Then he asked me to tell him, for a second time, exactly what I had said. I did. Daily Wail (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1295086/Gatwick-Airport-wil-hold-somewhat-bad-memories-Alex-Murray.html)

Lucky was the lady who was queuing up behind me when they took away my little pair of fold-up key-fob scissors (silly me for forgetting that they were dangerous), when she said quietly that they thought I was going to stab someone with them, and giggled. She might have risked being probed for that comment.

Platypus
16th July 2010, 11:57
Outrageous but somehow not surprising

doodab
16th July 2010, 12:06
They are a rude bunch.

I like it when I arrive at the passport control on the way in to the UK. There is a big sign next that says "asylum". I think that sums it up.

Paddy
16th July 2010, 12:18
I have seen a lot worse over a tube of toothpaste not to mention a lesbian security guard feeling up women and the women being in tears afterwards. The airports make a great job of welcoming emigrants and making genuine visitors wish to never come again.

Spacecadet
16th July 2010, 12:20
At Schiphol airport about 10 years ago I was waiting to board a connecting flight and decided to take a photo of the plane, it looked quick nice sitting there with the sun setting behind it.
Anyway, security guard approached me, apologised, called me Sir after every sentence and said he'll have to check my bag as I'd taken a photo of the plane.
He finished off with "Have a pleasant trip sir"

TimberWolf
16th July 2010, 12:23
I have seen a lot worse over a tube of toothpaste not to mention a lesbian security guard feeling up women and the women being in tears afterwards. The airports make a great job of welcoming emigrants and making genuine visitors wish to never come again.

What's the rule with toothpaste? I've had sunblock taken away from me. The limit is 100 ml or something. What's the betting all confiscated stuff ends up in their pockets at the end of the day?

Spacecadet
16th July 2010, 12:26
What's the rule with toothpaste? I've had sunblock taken away from me. The limit is 100 ml or something. What's the betting all confiscated stuff is loaded onto the same plane and sold back to you at the other end?

FTFY

SupremeSpod
16th July 2010, 12:41
What's the rule with toothpaste? I've had sunblock taken away from me. The limit is 100 ml or something. What's the betting all confiscated stuff ends up in their pockets at the end of the day?

Girly had some expensive gunky stuff in a bottle. The bottle exceeded the maximum size. It was well under half full. Expensive gunky stuff was thrown in the bin at the airport. Girly not remotely amused.

TimberWolf
16th July 2010, 12:44
Girly had some expensive gunky stuff in a bottle. The bottle exceeded the maximum size. It was well under half full. Expensive gunky stuff was thrown in the bin at the airport. Girly not remotely amused.

Well at least the customs staff smelt nice the next day.

SupremeSpod
16th July 2010, 12:47
Well at least the customs staff smelt nice the next day.

Probably.

Just think what would happen if the bin caught fire...

doodab
16th July 2010, 12:49
I don't even try to take liquids through any more, although I do like to leave half empty water bottles in my bag if I can, to keep them on their toes.

I felt a bit sorry for the guy with a micrometer I saw the other day, they wouldn't let him take it on because it was "sharp". It was sharper than their minds, I'll give them that.

I am surprised they allow LiPo batteries on planes to be honest. Far more dangerous than nail scissors in the right hands.

Pondlife
16th July 2010, 12:51
Well at least the customs staff smelt nice the next day.

It's not customs, it's airport security. There is a world of difference.

Customs don't care what you take on a plane as long as you've paid paid tax.

Airport security have no power themselves, get paid a pitance and will find any excuse to make your life miserable if you give them enough rope. As per the article.

P1ss off customs when you're coming back in to the country and you're in for a whole world of pain. These people can decend on your home on a whim.

SupremeSpod
16th July 2010, 12:52
I don't even try to take liquids through any more, although I do like to leave half empty water bottles in my bag if I can, to keep them on their toes.

I felt a bit sorry for the guy with a micrometer I saw the other day, they wouldn't let him take it on because it was "sharp". It was sharper than their minds, I'll give them that.

I am surprised they allow LiPo batteries on planes to be honest. Far more dangerous than nail scissors in the right hands.

I once boarded a plane to Israel with £150k worth of test equipment and 6 prototype STB circuit boards in my hand luggage. Had to get the Captains approval - he was very interested in the gubbins.

Which was nice.

I think the note written in Hebrew from NDS helped...

Along the lines of "We employ a lot of people in Jerusalem, don't piss us off"...

thunderlizard
16th July 2010, 22:41
That article is in the Spectator this week too. Somebody's going to get a telling off about that.

and I'm not even sure it's covered by the Secret Daily Mail Editorial Formula Tube Map (http://www.thepoke.co.uk/index.php/2010/07/15/daily-mails-secret-editorial-formula-revealed/).