PDA

View Full Version : In the shit at Clientco!



MarillionFan
20th July 2010, 16:50
Having a nightmare. 2nd day in and the client is questioning every step I take within my approach to investigating Business requirements.

Rejected my request for access to their existing DWH, stating it wasn't necessary for requirements gathering. Which in theory is true, if you believe in a classical waterfall approach.

I'm much more used to hands on. Client questioned and then rejected my requests for access.

Then when I questioned the lack of documentation on the work processes, it transpired that the documentation I reviewed I didnt understand it was specific to the industry they are in. I interviewed on subject area A, they are on B. But they sound similar.

I'm well and truly fooked here.
We have a review tomorrow and I believe that I will be OUT! :(

Zippy
20th July 2010, 16:54
'kin ell MF - that didn't take long. Looking on the bright side you'll be able to go on holiday after all.

PS this is a wind-up isn't it?

SupremeSpod
20th July 2010, 16:55
Having a nightmare. 2nd day in and the client is questioning every step I take within my approach to investigating Business requirements.

Rejected my request for access to their existing DWH, stating it wasn't necessary for requirements gathering. Which in theory is true, if you believe in a classical waterfall approach.

I'm much more used to hands on. Client questioned and then rejected my requests for access.

Then when I questioned the lack of documentation on the work processes, it transpired that the documentation I reviewed I didnt understand it was specific to the industry they are in. I interviewed on subject area A, they are on B. But they sound similar.

I'm well and truly fooked here.
We have a review tomorrow and I believe that I will be OUT! :(

Two days to find out you're sh!te? Is that a record?

A tip - give the customer what he/she says they want.

Mich the Tester
20th July 2010, 16:55
Having a nightmare. 2nd day in and the client is questioning every step I take within my approach to investigating Business requirements.

Rejected my request for access to their existing DWH, stating it wasn't necessary for requirements gathering. Which in theory is true, if you believe in a classical waterfall approach.

I'm much more used to hands on. Client questioned and then rejected my requests for access.

Then when I questioned the lack of documentation on the work processes, it transpired that the documentation I reviewed I didnt understand it was specific to the industry they are in. I interviewed on subject area A, they are on B. But they sound similar.

I'm well and truly fooked here.
We have a review tomorrow and I believe that I will be OUT! :(

Tell them you're motivated to do things according to their approach and you'll be fine. By the sounds of it, you'll be able to drag this out for a long time if that's how they go about things.

MarillionFan
20th July 2010, 17:03
Two days to find out you're sh!te? Is that a record?

A tip - give the customer what he/she says they want.

Were talking two different languages here.

This is a ******* nightmare.

Mich the Tester
20th July 2010, 17:08
I believe in a classical waterfall approach while somebody else is paying.

Spacecadet
20th July 2010, 17:09
Having a nightmare. 2nd day in and the client is questioning every step I take within my approach to investigating Business requirements.

Rejected my request for access to their existing DWH, stating it wasn't necessary for requirements gathering. Which in theory is true, if you believe in a classical waterfall approach.

I'm much more used to hands on. Client questioned and then rejected my requests for access.

Then when I questioned the lack of documentation on the work processes, it transpired that the documentation I reviewed I didnt understand it was specific to the industry they are in. I interviewed on subject area A, they are on B. But they sound similar.

I'm well and truly fooked here.
We have a review tomorrow and I believe that I will be OUT! :(

Has anyone pissed on your shoes yet?

doodab
20th July 2010, 17:22
I interviewed on subject area A, they are on B. But they sound similar.(

More clues. What are A and B?

Are you just gathering requirements or involved in the later stages as well?

doodab
20th July 2010, 17:23
A tip - give the customer what he/she says they want.

Ooh no. If he cuts them off and puts them on a plate now he won't be able to sew them back on.

Mich the Tester
20th July 2010, 17:25
A tip - give the customer what he/she says they want.
whs + a hefty invoice

Boudica
20th July 2010, 17:28
does anyone with a bit of dosh want to open a book on how long MF will last and whether or not he will insult/assault anyone before he goes?

prawn?

Pondlife
20th July 2010, 17:35
Oi Suity. Give MF his password back.

Mich the Tester
20th July 2010, 17:42
Oi Suity. Give MF his password back.Better still, publish it right here. :wink

norrahe
20th July 2010, 17:53
Have you punched them yet?

MarillionFan
20th July 2010, 18:11
More clues. What are A and B?

Are you just gathering requirements or involved in the later stages as well?

Business Requirements for Datawarehouse, Data Modelling and Design of a Star Schema.

I wanted access to their existing Datawarehouse to look at some of the conformed dimensions to get a feel for some of the existing data and access to the source system for the parts of the design.

Yes I'll get you source access to test, no you can't look at the DWH and no you cant look at any code.

Which is fair enough if you're a classic no skills BA, I like to build models as I go, including when doing the BR because it helps me to understand the business.

cojak
20th July 2010, 18:21
It hasn't been a great day all round, has it?

MarillionFan
20th July 2010, 18:25
It hasn't been a great day all round, has it?

It gets better.

It's a four minute drive to the office.

Some idiot crashed into the back of me. In stationary traffic!!!!:tantrum:

BolshieBastard
20th July 2010, 18:29
Two days to find out you're sh!te? Is that a record?

A tip - give the customer what he/she says they want.

Spot ******* on!

Sheer madness to get kicked off a project (and probably never get another role with this client) just because you want to do it your way.

Adapt or be like the dinosaurs.

Pogle
20th July 2010, 18:58
Just ask yourself - What Would Kimball Do ?

Spacecadet
20th July 2010, 19:09
It gets better.

It's a four minute drive to the office.

Some idiot crashed into the back of me. In stationary traffic!!!!:tantrum:

four minute drive in stationary traffic???
Whats wrong with walking? or shall we start calling you LardSandwichFan?

MarillionFan
20th July 2010, 19:13
Just ask yourself - What Would Kimball Do ?

As I'm following Kimble, he'd do what I'm doing. ie. Gather as much information as possible.

cailin maith
20th July 2010, 19:23
four minute drive in stationary traffic???
Whats wrong with walking? or shall we start calling you LardSandwichFan?

:laugh

MarillionFan
20th July 2010, 19:30
:laugh

I was planning to cycle. Its a 60 mile an hour road, and its about 3 miles.

When I mentioned cycling and asked about showers, the client told me to concentrate on the 'job in hand'.

It's been a while since I decked someone in the workplace. I may be getting ready to break that lull.:mad

Pogle
20th July 2010, 19:38
I was planning to cycle. Its a 60 mile an hour road, and its about 3 miles.

When I mentioned cycling and asked about showers, the client told me to concentrate on the 'job in hand'.

It's been a while since I decked someone in the workplace. I may be getting ready to break that lull.:mad

I'm sure your family are very proud

d000hg
20th July 2010, 19:55
I was planning to cycle. Its a 60 mile an hour road, and its about 3 miles.

When I mentioned cycling and asked about showers, the client told me to concentrate on the 'job in hand'.You need a shower after cycling 3 miles? Is it hilly or are you lardy?

norrahe
20th July 2010, 19:58
It's been a while since I decked someone in the workplace. I may be getting ready to break that lull.:mad

Go on, Go on, Go on, Go on, Go on, Go on, Go on, Go on!

ya Will, ya Will, ya Will, ya Will, ya Will, ya Will, ya Will, ya Will!

:ladybags:

MarillionFan
20th July 2010, 20:00
You need a shower after cycling 3 miles? Is it hilly or are you lardy?

I'm a little lardy at the moment, plus I'm going offroad through a very hilly windy, forest and up a very very difficult hill, then over morraine, and then sand.

Basically it's easier to bloody cycle the road it takes about 15 minutes. Took me 45 minutes off road.

doodab
20th July 2010, 20:01
As I'm following Kimble, he'd do what I'm doing. ie. Gather as much information as possible.

Maybe that's why they don't trust you on their existing system?

Kim Schmitz - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Schmitz)

shaunbhoy
20th July 2010, 20:18
I assume that New Clientco have started to make up the spare room for Mr Cockup??

:tongue

OwlHoot
20th July 2010, 20:30
... I'm going offroad through a very hilly windy, forest and up a very very difficult hill, then over morraine, and then sand.



Flippin' 'eck - Where is this - The Brecon Beacons? Are you carrying your laptop too, in hundredweight rucksack? :eek

It sounds like the client (or the twat you are dealing with) is worried you may pick holes in or criticise their existing system. Or perhaps they are reluctant to change it, and they have been overruled on the need to overhaul it at all - People do get defensive and go into job preservation mode about systems they have long familiarity with, and may have designed themselves.

SupremeSpod
20th July 2010, 20:34
Just ask yourself - What Would Kimball Do ?

Tag it? :confused:

jmo21
20th July 2010, 20:58
When I mentioned cycling and asked about showers, the client told me to concentrate on the 'job in hand'.


come on now, I can't believe someone said that in response to a question about showers! seriously?!?

Doggy Styles
20th July 2010, 21:06
When I mentioned cycling and asked about showers, the client told me to concentrate on the 'job in hand'.:laugh That is magnificent!

Come on, it's not true is it.

centurian
20th July 2010, 21:06
come on now, I can't believe someone said that in response to a question about showers! seriously?!?

I wonder if the use of "job", "hand" and "showers" in the same sentance might have had a different meaning ;)

norrahe
20th July 2010, 21:09
I wonder if the use of "job", "hand" and "showers" in the same sentance might have had a different meaning ;)

Depends on where you work, I suppose :eyes

MarillionFan
20th July 2010, 21:15
Now the mother of the girl with the car has just phoned me up, all pissed off.

I went 'Oh evening, are you the mother of the girl who hit me'

'Pardon!!!!!!!'

'I said, are you the mother of the girl who hit me?'

'I BEG YOUR PARDON!!!!'

'Oh it's just that your daughter admitted it, I have an IPHONE and recorded the conversation as well as taking pictures of the damage'

'Ohhhhhh? You recorded it?'

'Yes, yes I did, would you like to listen?'

'Well I'm gong to write to the insurance company, thats why we pay them. Good day!!!!'

OwlHoot
20th July 2010, 21:23
If she drove into the back of you, and you weren't reversing, she's bang to rights anyway (if you'll excuse the phrase).

Doggy Styles
20th July 2010, 21:26
If she drove into the back of you, and you weren't reversing, she's bang to rights anyway (if you'll excuse the phrase).Indeed. One of nature's universal laws of the road.

SupremeSpod
20th July 2010, 21:29
Indeed. One of nature's universal laws of the road.

That said though, my insurance paperwork says "Never admit liability in an accident." even if it is your fault.

MarillionFan
20th July 2010, 21:30
Indeed. One of nature's universal laws of the road.

The mother was a classic. Really indignant.

The girl passed her test on the 7th July.

I suppose if it was my daughter I would also try it on.

I'll imagine now, that they will concoct a story to say I was reversing as there were no witnesses. Little pikeys.:rolleyes:

Zippy
20th July 2010, 21:37
The mother was a classic. Really indignant.

The girl passed her test on the 7th July.

I suppose if it was my daughter I would also try it on.

I'll imagine now, that they will concoct a story to say I was reversing as there were no witnesses. Little pikeys.:rolleyes:

So she's on her mother's insurance? I wouldn't want to be that kid.

doodab
20th July 2010, 21:41
I suppose if it was my daughter I would also try it on.

So this poor girl drove into you and you tried to seduce her? I can see it now:

"How would you like it if I rammed you from behind?"

Pervert!

moorfield
20th July 2010, 21:44
I assume that New Clientco have started to make up the spare room for Mr Cockup??

:tongue

Maybe I'm jumping the gun or are the words "MarillionFan has a cunning plan" marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this thread ?

SupremeSpod
20th July 2010, 21:48
Maybe I'm jumping the gun or are the words "MarillionFan has a cunning plan" marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this thread ?

Yep. He's going to regale us with how he's single-handedly set clientco back on the righteous path tomorrow, how his contract has been extended and about the offer to join the board of directors.

More bullcrap than Threaded and Menelaus conjoined at the arse!

SupremeSpod
20th July 2010, 22:03
So, were you reversing? :eyes

Also, if there were no witnesses, why didn't you just punch her? :eyes

She was bigger than him!

AtW
20th July 2010, 22:09
She was bigger than him!

Who isn't?

MF is like 4 ft 3'', allegedly :eyes

NickFitz
21st July 2010, 01:46
So she's on her mother's insurance? I wouldn't want to be that kid.

Even better, if the insurance company decides that the young lady is in fact the main driver of said vehicle and the mother was only put on the policy as main driver to keep the premiums down, then... no insurance!

N.B. Definition of "better" may vary. Particularly if you're the claimant :ladybags:

Sysman
21st July 2010, 06:04
Even better, if the insurance company decides that the young lady is in fact the main driver of said vehicle and the mother was only put on the policy as main driver to keep the premiums down, then... no insurance!

N.B. Definition of "better" may vary. Particularly if you're the claimant :ladybags:

That one happened to me. As far as the insurance company were concerned the father had been driving and the accident occurred a day later. In my naivety I protested, but fortunately they ignored me and paid up.

centurian
21st July 2010, 07:14
Even better, if the insurance company decides that the young lady is in fact the main driver of said vehicle and the mother was only put on the policy as main driver to keep the premiums down, then... no insurance!

If you have another conversation with the mother, it might be worth dropping a hint to that effect to her - the kid could be prosecuted for no insurance, the mother for fraud - and the costs of your accident could be claimed back against the mother/daughter personally.

Will any of this happen, probably not. But it might cause her to realise that they are the ones breaking the law - and she will come down off her high horse pronto and just settle up.

Scrag Meister
21st July 2010, 07:30
Just ask yourself - What Would Kimbo Slice Do ?

FTFY