You have hemorrhoids, what do you do?

**MarillionFan** · 22 July 2010, 20:37

No idea. Never had them or met anyone with them!

**BolshieBastard** · 22 July 2010, 20:38

Originally posted by minestrone View Post

A. Go and see your Doctor
B. Cut them off with a stanley knife
C. Wrap an elastic band round them.

As I was drinking that nice cosecha with the pasta I made tonight I was told that some people think that C then B then A is the correct route to resolving the problem of piles. Ruined my dinner. WTF is wrong with people?

You missed the obvious! DON'T squeeze!

Seriously, I know someone who had 'the operation' to cure haemerrhoids (sp?).

He said it was like tulipting a boulder for at least 10 days afterwards.

Said he should have ate soups for a fortnight instead of normal food.

**minestrone** · 22 July 2010, 20:42

Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post

No idea. Never had them or met anyone with them!

Unfortunately I live with a doctor.

Someone had to remove the elastic band

**minestrone** · 22 July 2010, 20:54

She once had to swab a bloke's helmet after he had went at it with a cheese grater.

**Boudica** · 22 July 2010, 21:01

Originally posted by minestrone View Post

She once had to swab a bloke's helmet after he had went at it with a cheese grater.

the ultimate mark of an insecure man who has a small willy

...his mrs is a doctor

**Zippy** · 22 July 2010, 21:10

Originally posted by minestrone View Post

Unfortunately I live with a doctor.

Someone had to remove the elastic band

Is your missus American? I thought it was spelled haemorrhoid over here?
I used to work with a bloke who had 'the operaton' too. Whatever they used to seal 'em off came loose in the night and he lost loads of blood. It was one of his favourite anecdotes

I don't sit on cold surfaces anymore

**suityou01** · 22 July 2010, 22:03

Originally posted by minestrone View Post

A. Go and see your Doctor
B. Cut them off with a stanley knife
C. Wrap an elastic band round them.

As I was drinking that nice cosecha with the pasta I made tonight I was told that some people think that C then B then A is the correct route to resolving the problem of piles. Ruined my dinner. WTF is wrong with people?

Sit on your shoes.

HTH

**bumgardner** · 22 July 2010, 22:41

Originally posted by minestrone View Post

A. Go and see your Doctor
B. Cut them off with a stanley knife
C. Wrap an elastic band round them.

As I was drinking that nice cosecha with the pasta I made tonight I was told that some people think that C then B then A is the correct route to resolving the problem of piles. Ruined my dinner. WTF is wrong with people?

sure sure. Minestrone has a case of the "Rockford files". It does explain a lot.

**OwlHoot** · 23 July 2010, 00:22

Originally posted by minestrone View Post

A. Go and see your Doctor
B. Cut them off with a stanley knife
C. Wrap an elastic band round them.

As I was drinking that nice cosecha with the pasta I made tonight I was told that some people think that C then B then A is the correct route to resolving the problem of piles. Ruined my dinner. WTF is wrong with people?

Prevention is better than cure - For a start, avoid anything with gritty, particulate bits, such as pepper or filter coffee.

You have hemorrhoids, what do you do?