Best Man Speech

[FiveTimes]

I've got to write a best man speech and I am trying to find a couple of funny one liners.
Ideally something involving a BBQ

Has anyone got any sensible suggestions ?

[suityou01]

I've got to write a best man speech and I am trying to find a couple of funny one liners.
Ideally something involving a BBQ

Has anyone got any sensible suggestions ?

"I would have invited some of the groom's former girlfriends, but sadly most of them didn't make it through the foot and mouth outbreak. My, what a great barbeque that was!"

[moorfield]

Ideally something involving a BBQ

He likes a good Spit Roast then does he?

[FiveTimes]

He likes a good Spit Roast then does he?

Hmmm....
Not sure I'd get away with that

[Zippy]

5* - I think you might be in the wrong place for clean gags.

Erm ... thnks... Something about braziers? She lit the grooms flame? If the bride is a geordie 'coals to Newcastle'?

[PRC1964]

BBQ - a note for the future married man. If you go to the pub, Be Back Quick.

Oh, and foreplay is good or you'll get it burnt on the outside and raw in the middle.

[shaunbhoy]

Women are like Barbeques..............Men love to get close to them, and imagine they know what they are doing, but in reality most of what goes on when a man gets involved is that the outside gets all warmed up, but the inside is underdone.
To ensure things are fully finished, it may be advisable to stick something firmly inside. Some form of dagger is usually best!

[BlasterBates]

right so you want to remember how the groom proposed (always a good one)

He had a lot to drink, right, he was on his knees and what he actually said was "Will you carry me".

[northernladuk]

As you are introduced and stand up with your sheet and the microphone...'Ahh this is the second time today I have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand'

Do a search on best man speeches on the web. There are sites where people have uploaded theirs from around the world and others can rate them so you can see the best quickly. There are some belters in there and as they are from Australia, US etc there are some originals that people may never heard of before. I was crapping my load to write mine but after seeing these examples it was a doddle.

[FiveTimes]

As you are introduced and stand up with your sheet and the microphone...'Ahh this is the second time today I have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand'

Got that one