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Burglars! Oh no, even worse... Neighbours!

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    Burglars! Oh no, even worse... Neighbours!

    I just came in and there was a large suitcase standing in the hall outside the ground floor front. As I'm sure we all know, burglars will often use luggage they find on the premises they're burgling to pack stuff up, ready for a quick getaway, so I viewed this anomalous portmanteau with some concern.

    I had a quick glance at the doors of the two downstairs flats and they showed no signs of damage. Heading upstairs to my own abode, everything seemed OK.

    However, just as I entered my flat, I heard movement below. Suspecting that some miscreant might have concealed himself (it's usually a he) within one of the flats below and was now about to make off with whatever stolen property he had garnered, I went back down to apprehend them in the act

    The male component of the couple downstairs was reaching out of the door, naked except for a towel around his waist, trying to drag the suitcase back into the flat. He looked at me sheepishly.

    "Oh, hi, sorry, I was just wondering why this was in the hall," says I.

    "Yeah, it's the Missus's," he replied, nodding at me with one of those "You know how it is" expressions but getting even more sheepish as he tried to keep the towel in situ with one hand whilst still keeping control of the suitcase, which was steering badly.

    At least they aren't shouting the house down and slamming doors continuously this time, although there's the odd bit of moderately loud door-closing going on from time to time. They're a very nice couple to have as neighbours apart from these random occasions when they have a massive row.

    Ho hum

    #2
    Originally posted by NickFitz View Post
    I just came in and there was a large suitcase standing in the hall outside the ground floor front. As I'm sure we all know, burglars will often use luggage they find on the premises they're burgling to pack stuff up, ready for a quick getaway, so I viewed this anomalous portmanteau with some concern.

    I had a quick glance at the doors of the two downstairs flats and they showed no signs of damage. Heading upstairs to my own abode, everything seemed OK.

    However, just as I entered my flat, I heard movement below. Suspecting that some miscreant might have concealed himself (it's usually a he) within one of the flats below and was now about to make off with whatever stolen property he had garnered, I went back down to apprehend them in the act

    The male component of the couple downstairs was reaching out of the door, naked except for a towel around his waist, trying to drag the suitcase back into the flat. He looked at me sheepishly.

    "Oh, hi, sorry, I was just wondering why this was in the hall," says I.

    "Yeah, it's the Missus's," he replied, nodding at me with one of those "You know how it is" expressions but getting even more sheepish as he tried to keep the towel in situ with one hand whilst still keeping control of the suitcase, which was steering badly.

    At least they aren't shouting the house down and slamming doors continuously this time, although there's the odd bit of moderately loud door-closing going on from time to time. They're a very nice couple to have as neighbours apart from these random occasions when they have a massive row.

    Ho hum
    Now you have to ask yourself why it's gone quiet.

    3am in the morning.
    Large suitcase outside in the hall
    Man in a towel (probably just had a shower)
    Suspicious behaviour
    Missing girlfriend.

    It's a good job you don't have a track record for jumping to conclusions!
    What happens in General, stays in General.
    You know what they say about assumptions!

    Comment


      #3
      It never occurred to you it could be a bomb? You should've raised the alarm and had the building evacuated without delay!

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by k2p2 View Post
        It never occurred to you it could be a bomb? You should've raised the alarm and had the building evacuated without delay!
        Good call!!

        It looks like a crime has been committed IRL and instead of doing the right thing & phoning the police Nick went back to his virtual world and posted it online. I if someone left a 'suitcase' in WOW he's be all over the moderator button!!!
        What happens in General, stays in General.
        You know what they say about assumptions!

        Comment


          #5
          MF, you are a phunny phucker at times, but you've let your sockie out the bag as well.
          "I hope Celtic realise that, if their team is good enough, they will win. If they're not good enough, they'll not win - and they can't look at anybody else, whether it is referees or any other influence." - Walter Smith

          On them! On them! They fail!

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Incognito View Post
            MF, you are a phunny phucker at times, but you've let your sockie out the bag as well.
            If being full of sh it were wit, then you'd be the funniest poster around.
            What happens in General, stays in General.
            You know what they say about assumptions!

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
              If being full of sh it were wit, then you'd be the funniest poster around.
              If tulip were wit you'd still be a turd

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by NickFitz View Post
                I just came in and there was a large suitcase standing in the hall outside the ground floor front. As I'm sure we all know, burglars will often use luggage they find on the premises they're burgling to pack stuff up, ready for a quick getaway, so I viewed this anomalous portmanteau with some concern.

                I had a quick glance at the doors of the two downstairs flats and they showed no signs of damage. Heading upstairs to my own abode, everything seemed OK.

                However, just as I entered my flat, I heard movement below. Suspecting that some miscreant might have concealed himself (it's usually a he) within one of the flats below and was now about to make off with whatever stolen property he had garnered, I went back down to apprehend them in the act

                The male component of the couple downstairs was reaching out of the door, naked except for a towel around his waist, trying to drag the suitcase back into the flat. He looked at me sheepishly.

                "Oh, hi, sorry, I was just wondering why this was in the hall," says I.

                "Yeah, it's the Missus's," he replied, nodding at me with one of those "You know how it is" expressions but getting even more sheepish as he tried to keep the towel in situ with one hand whilst still keeping control of the suitcase, which was steering badly.

                At least they aren't shouting the house down and slamming doors continuously this time, although there's the odd bit of moderately loud door-closing going on from time to time. They're a very nice couple to have as neighbours apart from these random occasions when they have a massive row.

                Ho hum

                Are you sure they haven't hacked up another member of Mi6 and stuck him in said bag?
                "Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch." - Orson Welles

                Norrahe's blog

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by norrahe View Post

                  Are you sure they haven't hacked up another member of Mi6 and stuck him in said bag?
                  They reckon that guy in Pimplico might have been a professional assassination, by some foreign intelligence service

                  What on Earth could have prompted that? The only thing I can think of is an attempt to "turn" him went pear shaped.
                  Work in the public sector? Read the IR35 FAQ here

                  Comment

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