Project Wetherspoons!!

[shaunbhoy]

Following a chat with a work colleague of mine who comes from the North East, we got to chatting about the country's social ills. He was telling me that a number of his former schoolmates now eke out an existence basically doing the rounds of all the cheapest pubs in the region. Apparently, as they are registered as Alcoholic, they get a daily allowance of £19, on top of any other benefits, which they basically blow on cheap lager/cider etc.
My initial response was one of mild outrage that my taxes were funding these habits.
However, after further deliberation, I came to the conclusion that this was in fact a very cunning, though slightly cynical, use of resources.
If these wasters manage to drink themselves to death well before they become a real burden to the NHS, then it will be money well spent. Following on from that, we mused that perhaps the whole JDW empire is simply a front for a Government plan to eliminate the workshy? Hence the suggested name "Project Wetherspoons".

Any thoughts from the Panel??

[HairyArsedBloke]

Any thoughts from the Panel??

I'm going to have a word with my doctor to see if I can get put on that benefit.

I wouldn't be on it for long. I might be able to have five or six pints per day at that level of funding. I would last about a week before I died.

[AtW]

Load of bollox - if they want cheap booze they can get it in Tesco's - why pay premium at the pubs even those that sell pint for 99 pence?

[shaunbhoy]

Load of bollox - if they want cheap booze they can get it in Tesco's - why pay premium at the pubs even those that sell pint for 99 pence?

One word.................Networking!!

[suityou01]

Following a chat with a work colleague of mine who comes from the North East, we got to chatting about the country's social ills. He was telling me that a number of his former schoolmates now eke out an existence basically doing the rounds of all the cheapest pubs in the region. Apparently, as they are registered as Alcoholic, they get a daily allowance of £19, on top of any other benefits, which they basically blow on cheap lager/cider etc.
My initial response was one of mild outrage that my taxes were funding these habits.
However, after further deliberation, I came to the conclusion that this was in fact a very cunning, though slightly cynical, use of resources.
If these wasters manage to drink themselves to death well before they become a real burden to the NHS, then it will be money well spent. Following on from that, we mused that perhaps the whole JDW empire is simply a front for a Government plan to eliminate the workshy? Hence the suggested name "Project Wetherspoons".

Any thoughts from the Panel??

Where do I sign?

[MarillionFan]

Frankly I can't be bothered to work out the model.

On the other hand, by proudest prediction model was for a tobacco company who had me on a retainer through a consultancy to come up with costing/promotional models.

One day, I was invited to their head office and asked to watch the presentations of the day. One a plannogramming consultancy showed their results, another space elasticity, another pricing, another promotional mechanics, another health impacts of smoking & mortality, another the costs of smoking on the NHS.

Only a few years out of university, the commercial sensitivity was lost on me, as i madly scribbed over the day.

At the end of the day I was asked if I had been able to do anything on top of the analysis already presented. Oh yes, proudly, I showed the slides and the Excel 'What If' model I had created.

A pricing & promotions elasticity model, with a revenue and profit model, including taxes, with a mortality calculation and impact on the NHS.

'And in conclusion, you can see by reducing the tax of cigarettes by 50%, you increase the number of people who die through smoking by x per year, but this is offset in tax due to the increased numbers of people smoking, which in return reduces the burden on the NHS....'

Silence followed....... Then a 'Give me that disk and model', followed by a 'Don't ever talk of this again!'

I was young.

[AtW]

One word.................Networking!!

So in your view alcoholics that just want to get drunk would prefer to go to relatively expensive pub where they'd probably have to buy a round to their "networking mates" instead of getting cheap ultra strong Tesco lager?

[minestrone]

I am informed by the other half that the money for being a boozer is a total myth.

[minestrone]

Other than that I was in a wetherspoons today and they are getting 'proper job' in next month.

Last time I had that was in Newquay airport.

It's a decent brew and I for one am happy they are making an effort to get it up here.

[suityou01]

Other than that I was in a wetherspoons today and they are getting 'proper job' in next month.

Last time I had that was in Newquay airport.

It's a decent brew and I for one am happy they are making an effort to get it up here.

Nice one! St Austells IIRC. Nicely hopped. Thricely hopped. Schluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp.