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shaunbhoy
7th October 2010, 19:01
Following a chat with a work colleague of mine who comes from the North East, we got to chatting about the country's social ills. He was telling me that a number of his former schoolmates now eke out an existence basically doing the rounds of all the cheapest pubs in the region. Apparently, as they are registered as Alcoholic, they get a daily allowance of £19, on top of any other benefits, which they basically blow on cheap lager/cider etc.
My initial response was one of mild outrage that my taxes were funding these habits.
However, after further deliberation, I came to the conclusion that this was in fact a very cunning, though slightly cynical, use of resources.
If these wasters manage to drink themselves to death well before they become a real burden to the NHS, then it will be money well spent. Following on from that, we mused that perhaps the whole JDW empire is simply a front for a Government plan to eliminate the workshy? Hence the suggested name "Project Wetherspoons".

Any thoughts from the Panel??

HairyArsedBloke
7th October 2010, 19:15
Any thoughts from the Panel??

I'm going to have a word with my doctor to see if I can get put on that benefit.

I wouldn't be on it for long. I might be able to have five or six pints per day at that level of funding. I would last about a week before I died.

AtW
7th October 2010, 19:21
Load of bollox - if they want cheap booze they can get it in Tesco's - why pay premium at the pubs even those that sell pint for 99 pence?

shaunbhoy
7th October 2010, 19:27
Load of bollox - if they want cheap booze they can get it in Tesco's - why pay premium at the pubs even those that sell pint for 99 pence?

One word.................Networking!!

:tongue

suityou01
7th October 2010, 19:31
Following a chat with a work colleague of mine who comes from the North East, we got to chatting about the country's social ills. He was telling me that a number of his former schoolmates now eke out an existence basically doing the rounds of all the cheapest pubs in the region. Apparently, as they are registered as Alcoholic, they get a daily allowance of £19, on top of any other benefits, which they basically blow on cheap lager/cider etc.
My initial response was one of mild outrage that my taxes were funding these habits.
However, after further deliberation, I came to the conclusion that this was in fact a very cunning, though slightly cynical, use of resources.
If these wasters manage to drink themselves to death well before they become a real burden to the NHS, then it will be money well spent. Following on from that, we mused that perhaps the whole JDW empire is simply a front for a Government plan to eliminate the workshy? Hence the suggested name "Project Wetherspoons".

Any thoughts from the Panel??

Where do I sign? :laugh

MarillionFan
7th October 2010, 19:32
Frankly I can't be bothered to work out the model.

On the other hand, by proudest prediction model was for a tobacco company who had me on a retainer through a consultancy to come up with costing/promotional models.

One day, I was invited to their head office and asked to watch the presentations of the day. One a plannogramming consultancy showed their results, another space elasticity, another pricing, another promotional mechanics, another health impacts of smoking & mortality, another the costs of smoking on the NHS.

Only a few years out of university, the commercial sensitivity was lost on me, as i madly scribbed over the day.

At the end of the day I was asked if I had been able to do anything on top of the analysis already presented. Oh yes, proudly, I showed the slides and the Excel 'What If' model I had created.

A pricing & promotions elasticity model, with a revenue and profit model, including taxes, with a mortality calculation and impact on the NHS.

'And in conclusion, you can see by reducing the tax of cigarettes by 50%, you increase the number of people who die through smoking by x per year, but this is offset in tax due to the increased numbers of people smoking, which in return reduces the burden on the NHS....'

Silence followed....... Then a 'Give me that disk and model', followed by a 'Don't ever talk of this again!' :rollin:

I was young.:rolleyes:

AtW
7th October 2010, 19:34
One word.................Networking!!

So in your view alcoholics that just want to get drunk would prefer to go to relatively expensive pub where they'd probably have to buy a round to their "networking mates" instead of getting cheap ultra strong Tesco lager?

minestrone
7th October 2010, 19:37
I am informed by the other half that the money for being a boozer is a total myth.

minestrone
7th October 2010, 19:39
Other than that I was in a wetherspoons today and they are getting 'proper job' in next month.

Last time I had that was in Newquay airport.

It's a decent brew and I for one am happy they are making an effort to get it up here.

suityou01
7th October 2010, 19:54
Other than that I was in a wetherspoons today and they are getting 'proper job' in next month.

Last time I had that was in Newquay airport.

It's a decent brew and I for one am happy they are making an effort to get it up here.

Nice one! St Austells IIRC. Nicely hopped. Thricely hopped. Schluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp. :D

shaunbhoy
7th October 2010, 20:19
So in your view alcoholics that just want to get drunk would prefer to go to relatively expensive pub where they'd probably have to buy a round to their "networking mates" instead of getting cheap ultra strong Tesco lager?

Social drinkers.................:wink Money is no object..........as long as it is someone else's money.

MrMark
7th October 2010, 20:19
You have to admire that guy (is he called Tim Martin?) who's managed to build an empire of JD Wetherspoons, despite the existing competition and the government interference. You don't get the really cheap deals outside of Jan/Feb, but it's still a thrill to buy a pint here in London for around £2. What I admire about the guy is he's perfectly prepared to change his policy if something isn't working. He had a policy of never accepting Euros (he was extremely Euro-sceptic) in his pubs, but stopped that immediately he realised he was missing out in certain tourist hot-spots. Also, televisions in pubs - at one time they were verboten in Wetherspoons pubs, but that policy's been changed. He's even allowed music in his pubs, although they come under the Lloyds bar brand.

shaunbhoy
7th October 2010, 20:23
Other than that I was in a wetherspoons today and they are getting 'proper job' in next month.

Last time I had that was in Newquay airport.

It's a decent brew and I for one am happy they are making an effort to get it up here.

I wouldn't get your hopes up. It don't travel well.
My eldest son used to work for St Austell's at their distribution depot a few miles from here. He got a good discount on their own brands. I preferred HSD and Admiral to Proper Job, with Tribute a distant fourth.
Add to that all of the free clobber he got by way of Polo shirts/t-shirts/fleecys etc. and it was not a bad little number for him.

AtW
7th October 2010, 20:26
Social drinkers.................:wink Money is no object..........as long as it is someone else's money.

"Social drinking refers to casual drinking in a social setting without an intent to get drunk."

Source: Drinking culture - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_culture#Social_drinking)

So you are claiming that those poor alcoholics that are so bad that they even get money from the state engage in "social drinking" as defined above?

You are even bigger retard than our very own ministrone.

shaunbhoy
7th October 2010, 20:30
"Social drinking refers to casual drinking in a social setting without an intent to get drunk."

Source: Drinking culture - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_culture#Social_drinking)

So you are claiming that those poor alcoholics that are so bad that they even get money from the state engage in "social drinking" as defined above?

You are even bigger retard than our very own ministrone.

Oh stop taking yourself so seriously alexei. Nobody else does.

:winker:

suityou01
7th October 2010, 20:32
"Social drinking refers to casual drinking in a social setting without an intent to get drunk."

Source: Drinking culture - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_culture#Social_drinking)

So you are claiming that those poor alcoholics that are so bad that they even get money from the state engage in "social drinking" as defined above?

You are even bigger retard than our very own ministrone.

Where did that come from? Did I miss something? Did he deserve that? :confused:

HairyArsedBloke
7th October 2010, 20:34
Oh stop taking yourself so seriously alexei. Nobody else does.

:winker:

:laugh

minestrone
7th October 2010, 20:40
I wouldn't get your hopes up. It don't travel well.
My eldest son used to work for St Austell's at their distribution depot a few miles from here. He got a good discount on their own brands. I preferred HSD and Admiral to Proper Job, with Tribute a distant fourth.
Add to that all of the free clobber he got by way of Polo shirts/t-shirts/fleecys etc. and it was not a bad little number for him.

I nearly drowned myself in HSD when I was down in Cornwall in the summer, was always sneaking off for a fly pint of the stuff. Great beer.

shaunbhoy
7th October 2010, 20:42
I nearly drowned myself in HSD when I was down in Cornwall in the summer, was always sneaking off for a fly pint of the stuff. Great beer.

They also call it "High Speed Death"!!

:eek

minestrone
7th October 2010, 20:44
You are even bigger retard than our very own ministrone.

You can say what you want about me but the use of retard as an insult is not one we should be using on the board.

AtW
7th October 2010, 20:44
Oh stop taking yourself so seriously alexei.

:eyes

DaveB
7th October 2010, 20:54
They also call it "High Speed Death"!!

:eek

Back when I was a teenager down there it was High Speed Diesel, for the fact that it was heavier than the usual brews and got you pissed quickly. :freaky:

suityou01
7th October 2010, 20:56
You can say what you want about me but the use of retard as an insult is not one we should be using on the board.

(Inappropriate) figure of speech, Shirley?

MarillionFan
7th October 2010, 21:09
You can say what you want about me but the use of retard as an insult is not one we should be using on the board.

Agreed!

F**kwit, Watney barrel or paedobear are all much better.

minestrone
7th October 2010, 21:11
(Inappropriate) figure of speech, Shirley?

Unsavoury.