Nightmare Neighbour

[gricerboy]

I realise that Winston has a parallel thread running on a similar topic but I feel that my tale is so extraordinary that it warrants its own thread.

A few months ago a young single mother moved in next door. Not the most talkative of people I found whenever I tried exchanging pleasantries with her on the doorstep so I assumed she must have been depressed.

Now I'm a neighbourly soul at heart so I took it upon myself to do something to cheer her up. I'd noted that her garden had become somewhat unkempt since she moved in so I thought I'd go and sort it out for her sometime when I knew she was away. I have to confess that I wasn't being entirely altruistic here since I'm sure her knee height grass was having an adverse effect on the price of my house.

So I made a point of standing outside where I could listen in to her telephone conversations until I got wind of her going away. It turned out she was going to her sister one weekend so as soon as I heard her door close on that Saturday morning I shot straight round armed to the gunwhales with various horticultural implements.

I mowed her lawn and gave it stripes, weeded all the borders, planted some gloxinia that I had spare and even fashioned a little sparrow out of her box hedge. Knowing she'd be back on the Sunday evening, I accidentally on purpose made sure I was there putting the final touches to the fruits of my labour.
And that's where it all went wrong.

Instead of hearing overtures of gratitude for what I had done the first thing I heard was "what the hell are you doing in my garden?" This rapidly descended into a hysterical verbal assault on me in which she accused me of violating her space. Not the sweet lonely single mum I thought she was but a rabid north country lefty type with more baggage than terminal 5.

I tried making the peace with her a few days later by taking round a cauliflower cheese that I had made but she told me to clear off and that she was going to inform social services. All in all this leaves me in a very awkward position as our paths occasionally cross on the doorstep and I just can't stand her frostiness towards me. Is there anything I can do to offer her an olive branch or do you think I would be digging myself into a hole?

[MarillionFan]

[EternalOptimist]

ah..this old chestnut.
you are not the first trainspotter this has happened to, in fact may normals suffer similar ingratitudes.
My good friend Chauncey, made a similar faux pas, but recovered the situation by trimming her bush, then ploughing her furrow. just make sure she is at home next time.

[fullyautomatix]

It is beyond a joke that this sockie is allowed to still post when it has been proved beyond a doubt that he is a troll.

[Son of Tay]

It is beyond a joke that this sockie is allowed to still post when it has been proved beyond a doubt that he is a troll.

How rude? Picking on sockies and trolls. Makes me glum.

[OwlHoot]

I can't for the life of me figure out who it is, although I still reckon Suitie is a suspect.

No way is it Threaded, as everyone seems to think, because if so he'd also be around as himself, which he plainly hasn't been recently.

[SupremeSpod]

I realise that Winston has a parallel thread running on a similar topic but I feel that my tale is so extraordinary that it warrants its own thread.

Not me dear boy. You're confusing me with Wilmslow - an easy mistake to make.

[pacharan]

fashioned a little sparrow out of her box hedge.

She didn't have much of a thatch if you could only manage a sparrow

[SupremeSpod]

She didn't have much of a thatch if you could only manage a sparrow

Have you seen the size of the Sparrow on Ulm Münster? That's a big ferkin sparrow.

[Flubster]

According to the letter of the law, you have committed criminal damage. Now, take yourself off to the local nick and hand yourself in, there's a good chap...