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xoggoth
20th October 2010, 08:50
Or facilities, services etc.

Dentistry is one, as we have discussed recently. The oldest con in the book and about as useful as sorcery.

Another is stereo sound. Multiple speakers are good but music doesn't sound better if different parts of it come from each speaker. Somebody dreamed up this idea in the 60s to make their equipment sound advanced and we have been buying these things without questioning it ever since.

Any others?

Mich the Tester
20th October 2010, 09:15
Mini earphones for personal stereos. They don't make your music listening a private matter, as everyone can hear it; it just means everyone hears an annoying high pitched tch ttcchh ttcchh whizz woo tcchh instead of proper music. Proper old fashioned headphones are better.

EternalOptimist
20th October 2010, 09:24
Recessed shop doorways. why ??

Everyone knows they will be wee'd in by drunken blokes, kipped in and wee'd in by homeless tramps, and clogged up by wimps every time it rains.
come on shopkeepers, get it sorted



:rolleyes:

Mich the Tester
20th October 2010, 09:31
Recessed shop doorways. why ??

Everyone knows they will be wee'd in by drunken blokes, kipped in and wee'd in by homeless tramps, and clogged up by wimps every time it rains.
come on shopkeepers, get it sorted



:rolleyes:
You have a point, but I find it rather sad that fine works of architecture might need to be adapted to mitigate the effects of antisocial activity. In Haarlem there are a number of fine shop buildings including some rare (for NL) examples of Jugendstil architecture, where the recessed doorway is decorated with fine and colourful tiles. It would be a shame if these doorways were to be covered; they introduce a little culture into a shopping area preoccupied with money and commerce.

hyperD
20th October 2010, 09:42
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/02/27/article-1157762-03B210E4000005DC-531_634x464.jpg

Avocado saver

gingerjedi
20th October 2010, 09:42
Computers, what's wrong with filing cabinets?

My dad had a secretary all his working life now you get a laptop, not fair.:tantrum:

EternalOptimist
20th October 2010, 09:44
You have a point, but I find it rather sad that fine works of architecture might need to be adapted to mitigate the effects of antisocial activity. In Haarlem there are a number of fine shop buildings including some rare (for NL) examples of Jugendstil architecture, where the recessed doorway is decorated with fine and colourful tiles. It would be a shame if these doorways were to be covered; they introduce a little culture into a shopping area preoccupied with money and commerce.

Yes many useless inventions start out as seemingly logical and brilliant ideas, but then when they come into use, people respond by putting them in the bottom drawer. I dont much like some of the fizzy pop modern architecture, prefering something that fuses abstract modernism and historical tradition


:rolleyes:

Gibbon
20th October 2010, 09:45
You have a point, but I find it rather sad that fine works of architecture might need to be adapted to mitigate the effects of antisocial activity. In Haarlem there are a number of fine shop buildings including some rare (for NL) examples of Jugendstil architecture, where the recessed doorway is decorated with fine and colourful tiles. It would be a shame if these doorways were to be covered; they introduce a little culture into a shopping area preoccupied with money and commerce.


Without which there'd be no culture. Wealth is needed to commission architecture and other art works.

Florence for example was very wealthy in the 15th cen and was also blessed with forward looking patrons.

Pondlife
20th October 2010, 09:45
Computers, what's wrong with filing cabinets?

My dad had a secretary all his working life now you get a laptop, not fair.:tantrum:

I think my dad had most of his secretaries.

Mother wasn't happy.

Mich the Tester
20th October 2010, 09:49
Without which there'd be no culture. Wealth is needed to commission architecture and other art works.

Florence for example was very wealthy in the 15th cen and was also blessed with forward looking patrons.

Indeed; but the town centre needs to mix these aspects; I can't stand shopping malls which seem to be purely directed at selling me more and more tulip I don't want; today, 3 useless pieces of tulip for the price of 2! I do like town centres where many functions come together, like commerce, art, culture, music and social areas. That's one of the great strengths of European cities and towns; many Americans visiting Europe are very impressed with how our towns combine all these functions in one place and I don't want to see that going down the drain.

Oh, and archaeological evidence suggess art existed before commerce.

zeitghost
20th October 2010, 09:56
Mini earphones for personal stereos. They don't make your music listening a private matter, as everyone can hear it; it just means everyone hears an annoying high pitched tch ttcchh ttcchh whizz woo tcchh instead of proper music. Proper old fashioned headphones are better.

I now see people wandering around the streets wearing these.

Then again, my woolly hat has an aluminium foil lining, so who am I to judge?

Gibbon
20th October 2010, 09:59
Oh, and archaeological evidence suggess art existed before commerce.

Please expand with particular reference to how they know that commerce didn't exist.

For example did the cave painters source all their material themselves or maybe they gave some excess food/skins for it. Just because it's not documented doesn't mean it didn't exist. I quite dislike suggestions that get turned into truths.

Mich the Tester
20th October 2010, 10:05
Please expand with particular reference to how they know that commerce didn't exist.

For example did the cave painters source all their material themselves or maybe they gave some excess food/skins for it. Just because it's not documented doesn't mean it didn't exist. I quite dislike suggestions that get turned into truths.

There is no evidence for commerce in any recognisable form existing at the time of cave paintings; that is not evidence for it not existing, but it would suggest that art can exist without commerce. I'm not turning a suggestion into truth; I simply don't believe that the act of creating an object of beauty or expression is dependent on commerce; it becomes dependent on commerce where materials or skills are required that are not directly at hand and require sourcing.

Anyway, this is besides the point; my issue is with the idea that buildings should be designed to prevent antisocial activity at the cost of aesthetics; I think it's better to just deal with the antisocials who piss in shop doorways than avoid building recessed doorways.

EternalOptimist
20th October 2010, 10:09
There is no evidence for commerce in any recognisable form existing at the time of cave paintings; that is not evidence for it not existing, but it would suggest that art can exist without commerce. I'm not turning a suggestion into truth; I simply don't believe that the act of creating an object of beauty or expression is dependent on commerce; it becomes dependent on commerce where materials or skills are required that are not directly at hand and require sourcing.

Anyway, this is besides the point; my issue is with the idea that buildings should be designed to prevent antisocial activity at the cost of aesthetics; I think it's better to just deal with the antisocials who piss in shop doorways than avoid building recessed doorways.

I object to you trying to turn the suggestion that peeing in a doorway has no aesthetics into a truth. When I was younger, I made it into quite an art form




:rolleyes:

Gibbon
20th October 2010, 10:12
Anyway, this is besides the point; my issue is with the idea that buildings should be designed to prevent antisocial activity at the cost of aesthetics; I think it's better to just deal with the antisocials who piss in shop doorways than avoid building recessed doorways.

Agreed, but the recesses are not there purely for aesthetics but to provide protection for the shop from the elements i.e. rain would get in easy if the doors were not recessed and they are opened a lot. The decoration is secondary.

Mich the Tester
20th October 2010, 10:14
I object to you trying to turn the suggestion that peeing in a doorway has no aesthetics into a truth. When I was younger, I made it into quite an art form




:rolleyes:Ah yes, the old games of 'who can piss highest against the wall' and 'who can write his name on the wall'; easy for someone called Jon , difficult but very impressive for someone called Wijegunawardene (Sri Lankan name).

EternalOptimist
20th October 2010, 10:17
Agreed, but the recesses are not there purely for aesthetics but to provide protection for the shop from the elements i.e. rain would get in easy if the doors were not recessed and they are opened a lot. The decoration is secondary.

ok, thats enough about the recession, hows about

toilet lids. what do they do ?? apart from cause disharmony amongst the sexes



:rolleyes:

gingerjedi
20th October 2010, 10:17
Ah yes, the old games of 'who can piss highest against the wall' and 'who can write his name on the wall'; easy for someone called Jon , difficult but very impressive for someone called Wijegunawardene (Sri Lankan name).

Yeah, them Sri Lankans have small todgers.

Doggy Styles
20th October 2010, 14:43
The Tamagotchia. That plastic toy you have to "feed" or it dies. What a load of old bollocks.

gingerjedi
20th October 2010, 14:47
The Tamagotchia. That plastic toy you have to "feed" or it dies. What a load of old bollocks.

Your cat/dog doesn't really love you. What a load of old bollocks. :tongue

Dearnla
20th October 2010, 14:57
Indeed; but the town centre needs to mix these aspects; I can't stand shopping malls which seem to be purely directed at selling me more and more tulip I don't want; today, 3 useless pieces of tulip for the price of 2! I do like town centres where many functions come together, like commerce, art, culture, music and social areas. That's one of the great strengths of European cities and towns; many Americans visiting Europe are very impressed with how our towns combine all these functions in one place and I don't want to see that going down the drain.

Oh, and archaeological evidence suggess art existed before commerce.
Gosh, you still go to shops!! And you work in IT !!

BlasterBates
20th October 2010, 17:12
Not only Dentistry, but the whole of medicine really.

I was fooled by it, it looks good on telly and in glossy magazines, but the reality of medicine is a bunch of ham fisted surgeons with their hands covered in dangerous flesh eating bacteria, floundering around on some organ or bone creating absolute havoc.

The only really useful treatment I'm aware of is leeches which are really good at cleaning the wounds after an incompetent doctor has messing around with it.

Boudica
20th October 2010, 17:36
lettuce spinner

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4eRNH1qEMmw/So2NzHek5qI/AAAAAAAABT0/fg_w4uCf1oc/s400/lettuce_spinner.jpg

thunderlizard
20th October 2010, 17:39
High heeled shoes.

EternalOptimist
20th October 2010, 17:41
High heeled shoes.

:eyes

you meant flip flops.

didnt you?

Zippy
20th October 2010, 17:45
Ronco Button Mate

thunderlizard
20th October 2010, 18:12
:eyes

you meant flip flops.

didnt you?

No. Women put high heels on because they think it makes them more attractive, but really it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference. So it makes them 5'5'' instead of 5'3''? Who's counting?
The only thing they are useful for is as an indication of whether a lady is aht on't pull.

EternalOptimist
20th October 2010, 18:21
No. Women put high heels on because they think it makes them more attractive, but really it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference. So it makes them 5'5'' instead of 5'3''? Who's counting?
The only thing they are useful for is as an indication of whether a lady is aht on't pull.

the point i was making is that you must see my point
high heels DO have a point, thats the point of them

flip flops dont. sorry to be so pointed



:rolleyes:

Boudica
20th October 2010, 19:11
nhs

d000hg
20th October 2010, 20:03
The only really useful treatment I'm aware of is leeches which are really good at cleaning the wounds after an incompetent doctor has messing around with it.Don't forget the maggots.

Mich the Tester
21st October 2010, 06:53
Ronco Button Mate

I just googled that; looks quite handy and I think I'll order one for emergency repairs of jacket and shirt buttons.

zeitghost
21st October 2010, 08:12
No. Women put high heels on because they think it makes them more attractive, but really it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference. So it makes them 5'5'' instead of 5'3''? Who's counting?
The only thing they are useful for is as an indication of whether a lady is aht on't pull.

Especially if they're red. :tongue:p

Ignis Fatuus
21st October 2010, 08:18
Or facilities, services etc.

Dentistry is one, as we have discussed recently. The oldest con in the book and about as useful as sorcery.

Another is stereo sound. Multiple speakers are good but music doesn't sound better if different parts of it come from each speaker. Somebody dreamed up this idea in the 60s to make their equipment sound advanced and we have been buying these things without questioning it ever since.

Any others?Stereo sound recording was invented in the 1930s by underrated inventor A.D. Blumlein.

It is not pointless, the point is to seem to hear a given sound from a particular position, e.g. different instruments in different positions as they might be laid out in a live performance, or different actors in a position corresponding to where you see them on the set. If all you hear is different parts of the sound coming from each speaker, something is defective, for example the polarity of your speaker wiring.

Ignis Fatuus
21st October 2010, 08:19
lettuce spinner

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_4eRNH1qEMmw/So2NzHek5qI/AAAAAAAABT0/fg_w4uCf1oc/s400/lettuce_spinner.jpgGood for drying tights.

xoggoth
21st October 2010, 08:51
If all you hear is different parts of the sound coming from each speaker, something is defective

Think it's more the way some recordings are made. Some of the music I listen to via headphones while on boring exercise machine in garage (the wife won't let me put speakers on full blast) has bits that go entirely into one ear.

The normal situation it's meant to reproduce is more of a limitation of real life, a defect in my view. Nature gave us directionality so we could stalk wildebeest in the forest but how does it improve music?

zeitghost
21st October 2010, 12:32
That's down to the way it was mixed, Xogg.

Some of these things are ok on speakers, but, as you say, are positively disturbing on cans.

ilovehr
21st October 2010, 13:53
Has to be the motion sensing hand soap dispenser:

So they get you to buy these things as they mean you don't have to touch the "dirty germ ridden" soap dispenser pump. Surely you only touch the pump to dispense soap to disinfect your hands, killing any germs you may have inadvertenly picked up by touching the pump in the first place!

This load of money making bolox has become a bit of a personal tirade after I spent about half an hour trying to persuade my mum that they had seen her coming when she bought one......

Dettol No-Touch Hand Wash System (http://www.dettol.co.uk/no-touch-handwash-system/index.php)

Doggy Styles
21st October 2010, 13:56
I see what you're getting at, ilovehr.

shaunbhoy
21st October 2010, 14:12
Think it's more the way some recordings are made.


There is little point, when you finally reach an age where they are affordable, buying expensive classy luxury speakers, when by that time you are reduced to getting by with pound-shop ears.

Just thought I'd throw that in..........

:tumble:

realityhack
21st October 2010, 14:29
Chopsticks.

gingerjedi
21st October 2010, 14:32
Think it's more the way some recordings are made. Some of the music I listen to via headphones while on boring exercise machine in garage (the wife won't let me put speakers on full blast) has bits that go entirely into one ear.

The normal situation it's meant to reproduce is more of a limitation of real life, a defect in my view. Nature gave us directionality so we could stalk wildebeest in the forest but how does it improve music?

I take it you wouldn't be impressed by this then: Zaireeka - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zaireeka)

Not sure how you'd listen to it on cans mind? :freaky:

Platypus
21st October 2010, 14:36
Your cat/dog doesn't really love you. What a load of old bollocks. :tongue

Superb!

:rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin: :rollin:

MaryPoppins
21st October 2010, 14:42
No. Women put high heels on because they think it makes them more attractive, but really it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference. So it makes them 5'5'' instead of 5'3''? Who's counting?
The only thing they are useful for is as an indication of whether a lady is aht on't pull.

Nah. They make your legs look better, and help with calf muscle definition (not in a good way, but, still).

I wouldn't be seen dead flerping about the office in a pair of flats, frankly.

Boudica
21st October 2010, 14:44
Nah. They make your legs look better, and help with calf muscle definition (not in a good way, but, still).

I wouldn't be seen dead flerping about the office in a pair of flats, frankly.

i'm so glad i'm not 5'10 :eyes

MaryPoppins
21st October 2010, 14:50
i'm so glad i'm not 5'10 :eyes

Me too. I'm practically an EU midget.

shaunbhoy
21st October 2010, 14:52
Nah. They make your legs look better, and help with calf muscle definition (not in a good way, but, still).

I wouldn't be seen dead flerping about the office in a pair of flats, frankly.

They do their little bit to stop so much of the female anatomy heading south with age. And for that they deserve a mention.
:tongue

MaryPoppins
21st October 2010, 14:55
They do their little bit to stop so much of the female anatomy heading south with age. And for that they deserve a mention.
:tongue

If only there was something to provide assistance to you lot. Lobotomy?

shaunbhoy
21st October 2010, 14:57
If only there was something to provide assistance to you lot. Lobotomy?

Marriage usually does for us!!

HTH

:wink

d000hg
21st October 2010, 15:00
Has to be the motion sensing hand soap dispenser:

So they get you to buy these things as they mean you don't have to touch the "dirty germ ridden" soap dispenser pump. Surely you only touch the pump to dispense soap to disinfect your hands, killing any germs you may have inadvertenly picked up by touching the pump in the first place!Most soap doesn't kill germs.

shaunbhoy
21st October 2010, 15:02
Most soap doesn't kill germs.

Have you opened the Christmas Crackers early d000hg??

EternalOptimist
21st October 2010, 15:03
They do their little bit to stop so much of the female anatomy heading south with age. And for that they deserve a mention.
:tongue

It's a pity they didnt invent something to stop you heading South
that WOULD deserve a mention




:rolleyes:

d000hg
21st October 2010, 15:06
Have you opened the Christmas Crackers early d000hg??Eh?

shaunbhoy
21st October 2010, 15:08
Eh?

That factoid about soap and germs might almost have emanated from same.

shaunbhoy
21st October 2010, 15:09
It's a pity they didnt invent something to stop you heading South
that WOULD deserve a mention




:rolleyes:

Hilarious!!! Funniest poster by a country mile!! Think I might have split a side.

:eyes

Ignis Fatuus
21st October 2010, 15:09
If only there was something to provide assistance to you lot. Lobotomy?I'd rather have a bottle in fronta me :smile

cailin maith
21st October 2010, 15:12
Nah. They make your legs look better, and help with calf muscle definition (not in a good way, but, still).

I wouldn't be seen dead flerping about the office in a pair of flats, frankly.

I have about 8 pairs of shoes under my desk of varying heel heights.

Right now, I'm wearing trainers :o

realityhack
21st October 2010, 15:14
The two-handed glove (https://www.handhugger.com/cgi-bin/in1.pl?inview=1).

EternalOptimist
21st October 2010, 15:14
How about those little strap things that hang off the back of cars onto the road.

did they actually serve ANY purpose?



:rolleyes:

RichardCranium
21st October 2010, 15:17
Can I nominate someone twice for the Poster Most Likely To Not Get It award?


Eh?You need some coffee, d000hg. Have they just put the heating on in ClientCo and the carbon monoxide is getting to you?

realityhack
21st October 2010, 15:19
Fluorescent attachment (http://www.jonnyglow.com/about/) for a toilet bowl.

RichardCranium
21st October 2010, 15:20
The two-handed glove (https://www.handhugger.com/cgi-bin/in1.pl?inview=1).Oh. My. God.

Bearing in mind the Missus & I have matching kagools and walking boots and so we look like soft dippy gits when out and about, yet even I am nauseated by that piece of soppiness.

Zippy
21st October 2010, 15:22
Chopsticks.

You can stab people with them.

cailin maith
21st October 2010, 15:23
The two-handed glove (https://www.handhugger.com/cgi-bin/in1.pl?inview=1).

Awww the smitten mitten :puke:

wobbegong
21st October 2010, 15:25
Awww the smitten mitten :puke:

:yay: . . .or the "Love Glove".

Doggy Styles
21st October 2010, 15:26
High heels? I like naturally tall women. There's probably a psychological reason for this but I don't know what it is.

realityhack
21st October 2010, 15:31
Behold, the 10-in-1 gardening tool:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_JmpkIMgnzIE/SZwyKHsQ0EI/AAAAAAAAZgc/Znz8uugdy7Y/s1600-h/8.jpg

realityhack
21st October 2010, 15:33
The 'privacy scarf', designed to protect your browsing from prying eyes:
31.jpg (image) (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_JmpkIMgnzIE/SZwxou2z9mI/AAAAAAAAZdc/-Zvwgi7chYI/s1600-h/31.jpg)

realityhack
21st October 2010, 15:35
The last two came from this page (http://crazy-picsblog.blogspot.com/2009/02/30-worlds-strangest-inventions.html)... plenty more there.

EternalOptimist
21st October 2010, 15:36
What about Chinese Beer ?

Once you've had one, a few minutes later you fancy another




:rolleyes:

RichardCranium
21st October 2010, 15:36
Fluorescent attachment (http://www.jonnyglow.com/about/) for a toilet bowl.:yay:

Better yet, a luminous toilet seat. I hate having to put a light on when I go for a cut 'n' dash in the middle of the night.

cailin maith
21st October 2010, 15:38
The 'privacy scarf', designed to protect your browsing from prying eyes:
31.jpg (image) (http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_JmpkIMgnzIE/SZwxou2z9mI/AAAAAAAAZdc/-Zvwgi7chYI/s1600-h/31.jpg)

:laugh Could you imagine Gricer sitting next to you on the train using that yoke - he's piss his pants trying to get inside.

PRC1964
21st October 2010, 15:48
What about Chinese Beer ?

Once you've had one, a few minutes later you fancy another




:rolleyes:


EO, the thread is about pointless inventions not damned good ideas.

EternalOptimist
21st October 2010, 15:50
Heh heh
:rollin:


you know when you've been tangoed

xoggoth
21st October 2010, 16:07
Pound shop? I am not made of money. There's a 99p shop in my town.

d000hg
21st October 2010, 16:09
Can I nominate someone twice for the Poster Most Likely To Not Get It award?

You need some coffee, d000hg. Have they just put the heating on in ClientCo and the carbon monoxide is getting to you?Since when did you have a christmas cracker with health & safety tips? You and SB need to stop getting your crackers from the free clinic...

<SY01>Mummy, he's stalking the forum, picking on me</SY01>

d000hg
21st October 2010, 16:10
What about Chinese Beer ?

Once you've had one, a few minutes later you fancy anotherIsn't that the same as regular beer?

EternalOptimist
21st October 2010, 16:11
Isn't that the same as regular beer?

:wink

PRC1964
21st October 2010, 16:13
Isn't that the same as regular beer?

d000hgie, I think you either need a rest or a few beers or even both. You're not on form today.

RichardCranium
21st October 2010, 16:45
Since when did you have a christmas cracker with health & safety tips?You seem to be bit slow on the uptake today, either you're poorly, or sleepy, being poisoned by ClientCo's boiler or distracted because you're working (which is, frankly, the least likely).


You and SB need to stop getting your crackers from the free clinic...SB?


<SY01>Mummy, he's stalking the forum, picking on me</SY01>Actually, it was me complaining about having a stalker earlier in the year. I think it was that Strine twonk, NOB25.

d000hg
21st October 2010, 19:52
You seem to be bit slow on the uptake todayNo, people post 'jokes' which aren't funny. I'm hoping there is a deeper hilarity but when I ask, it appears this isn't the case


Actually, it was me complaining about having a stalker earlier in the year. I think it was that Strine twonk, NOB25.No, I meant SY01 regularly complains people are ganging up on him, having a go... you seem to picking on me particularly today you big bully ;)

Spacecadet
21st October 2010, 19:59
Pound shop? I am not made of money. There's a 99p shop in my town.

99p???

You're throwing money away you flash git (http://menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/1346072_the_bargain_basement_price_war_pound_shop_ rebranded_as_85p_store__after_89p_shop_opens_on_pr ecinct)

xoggoth
21st October 2010, 20:08
a deeper hilarity

I rather like that. Maybe the meaning of life we are always looking for is actually a joke. Come 2014, the year of the second coming,
and The Lord will descend in fire and brimstone on us all and shout F* me haven't you lot got it yet? It was a man with a crocodile!

Or maybe we have had the second coming already. It's Ken Dodd. Jesus wasn't very funny either apparently, the sermon on the mount went down like a lead balloon.

Spacecadet
21st October 2010, 20:09
Nah. They make your legs look better, and help with calf muscle definition (not in a good way, but, still).


WMPS

Girls in high heels definitely look better than in flats. Its all down to the posture the wearer is forced to adopt and making vital bits (i.e. boobs and arse) appear stick out a little bit more, the back is given a better shape and the legs look longer, can't lose really!

RichardCranium
21st October 2010, 20:09
:help: you seem to picking on me particularly today you big bully ;):bluelight Bedwetter Alert ! :bluelight



;)

xoggoth
21st October 2010, 20:11
85p! I love all this cheap stuff. This week I brought a large £30 book of insect photos for a fiver at the new bookshop in town. Last month I brought a new pair of running shoes for £9.99. Only spent £7 last time though.