Christmas is cancelled part deux

**Ignis Fatuus** · 9 December 2010, 08:30

Originally posted by doodab View Post

EU diktat bans under-16s from buying Christmas crackers because they are fireworks | Mail Online

I like the way they start off blaming an "EU diktat" before revealing slightly further on that it was actually a British decision to set the age limit at 16.

I hope the EU don't pass some sort of newspapers not allowed to print complete bollocks legislation.

Don't worry. Christmas crackers may be a particularly British thing, but bollocks newspapers are not.

**doodab** · 9 December 2010, 08:34

Originally posted by Ignis Fatuus View Post

Don't worry. Christmas crackers may be a particularly British thing, but bollocks newspapers are not.

At least they put the tits on the front page to save me buying my own copy

**RichardCranium** · 9 December 2010, 08:52

Amongst the comments:

Christmas Crackers do contain a small amount of black powder. A few of them combined can make a small firecracker-type explosive. Extract the powder from a few dozen and you could make a small pipe bomb.

Crackers are dangerous, and we must put our nation's children first before all considerations. Those that collect crackers can also gain enough explosive for acts of terrorism. I would strongly suggest that all those who purchase crackers should have their personal details recorded and then police checked in case they are terrorists.

I think the age for buying explosives should be raised to 21 - the 'snaps' in crackers can be collected and combined to potentially anarchic levels of combustion. Christmas crackers can easily scar or maim if used in the wrong hands.

Are these people entitled to vote?

**doodab** · 9 December 2010, 08:56

I think we should ban the jokes inside them. They are a leading cause of depression.

**ThomasSoerensen** · 9 December 2010, 09:04

Maybe a temporary ban on news papers is in order.

Only let the raw facts be printed.

Lets say for 40 years?

Anyone in favour?

**RichardCranium** · 9 December 2010, 09:06

Originally posted by zeitghost

Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

Quality.

Here you go, Zeity. The Cup Size Choir. Probably NSFW.

Edit: Fetch the Kleenex and make sure you've got 5 minutes free BEFORE watching the video.

Christmas is cancelled part deux