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EternalOptimist
12th January 2011, 09:59
I banged my knee last thurdsay evening, whilst in a drunken stupid. Its been agony ever since, I have to grab my pants by the knee in order to move my foot from the gas to the brake, so driving is absolute agony.
It got so bad, that I had some nurofen yesterday, and even went to see the doc.

He examined me and said 'You are without doubt a man of iron. Only a true hero with amazing will power could have kept going, given the pain you are in. Most would have curled up and died. can I have your autograph ? Studies have proven that what you are experiencing is five times more painful than childbirth'

well , he didnt actually say that, but I could tell he was thinking it.


ow,oo , ow.



:rolleyes:

MarillionFan
12th January 2011, 10:03
I know of a chap who banged his knee on the end of the bed first thing in the morning. He hobbled around for a while in pain before going off and posting on an internet forum & watching pron for a few hours.

By lunchtime he was dead. Blood poisoning had spread to his testicles.

The doctors said he could have saved himself if only he had gone to the hospital and insisted they amputate his leg & gonads.

No time to waste EO. Quick to the hospital.

RichardCranium
12th January 2011, 10:06
well, he didn't actually say that, but I could tell he was thinking it.:laugh

Bunk
12th January 2011, 10:12
I know of a chap who banged his knee on the end of the bed first thing in the morning. He hobbled around for a while in pain before going off and posting on an internet forum & watching pron for a few hours.

By lunchtime he was dead. Blood poisoning had spread to his testicles.

The doctors said he could have saved himself if only he had gone to the hospital and insisted they amputate his leg & gonads.

No time to waste EO. Quick to the hospital.

True story :rolleyes:

EternalOptimist
12th January 2011, 10:15
True story :rolleyes:

I doubt it. I just rang my doctor and saked him if getting your ollies removed was a side effect of banging your knee.
he said 'stop wasting my time' and hung up.

he must have thought I was someone else



:rolleyes:

MarillionFan
12th January 2011, 10:18
I doubt it. I just rang my doctor and saked him if getting your ollies removed was a side effect of banging your knee.
he said 'stop wasting my time' and hung up.

he must have thought I was someone else



:rolleyes:

Rice wine at this time in the morning! Heavens forbid!

NotAllThere
12th January 2011, 10:51
I banged my knee last thurdsay evening, whilst in a drunken stupid. Its been agony ever since,.. 'Studies have proven that what you are experiencing is five times more painful than childbirth'

Yeah, but have you ever had a paper-cut?

xoggoth
12th January 2011, 11:09
The best way to make an injury seem less painful is to inflict a much more painful one somewhere else. Or have you tried TENS? If you haven't got a TENS machine you can easily make your own using mains leads. Instruction on request.

EternalOptimist
12th January 2011, 11:18
The best way to make an injury seem less painful is to inflict a much more painful one somewhere else. Or have you tried TENS? If you haven't got a TENS machine you can easily make your own using mains leads. Instruction on request.

Everyone knows that. I only banged my knee to take my mind off my piles, where were playing up.

now I need something to take my mind off my knee. I will be a gibbering wreck by the end of the week


:rolleyes:

Mich the Tester
12th January 2011, 11:26
Everyone knows that. I only banged my knee to take my mind off my piles, where were playing up.

now I need something to take my mind off my knee. I will be a gibbering wreck by the end of the week


:rolleyes:1 Take off your shoes and socks.
2 Put your foot next to the doorway with your little toe just over the edge of the doorway.
3 Slam the door.

HTH

suityou01
12th January 2011, 11:38
1 Take off your shoes and socks.
2 Put your foot next to the doorway with your little toe just over the edge of the doorway.
3 Slam the door.

HTH

Repeat with your dinkle if the toe hurts too much. :D

RichardCranium
12th January 2011, 11:53
Repeat with your dinkle if the toe hurts too much. :DI saw this (http://www.flickr.com/photos/39431657@N00/436678101)and thought of you. ;)



( I had to look 'dinkle' up in Google... )

mudskipper
12th January 2011, 13:24
Repeat with your dinkle if the toe hurts too much. :D

I had a childcare book once. In the first aid section, there was an entry for "penis caught in zip." Ouch. (I imagine.)

suityou01
12th January 2011, 13:29
I had a childcare book once. In the first aid section, there was an entry for "penis caught in zip." Ouch. (I imagine.)

:spel dinkle

Platypus
12th January 2011, 14:19
1 Take off your shoes and socks.
2 Put your foot next to the doorway with your little toe just over the edge of the doorway.
3 Slam the door.

HTH

Is this the voice of experience?

Last time I clouted my little toe, I'm sure I broke it. It was painful for days and days.

Wodewick
12th January 2011, 17:09
I had a childcare book once. In the first aid section, there was an entry for "penis caught in zip." Ouch. (I imagine.)
<Ugly Bulldog Character>
Oh Yes!
</UBC>

<Shudder at memory>