In contrast

[Cliphead]

To yesterday's fck up and last night's rant I've got nothing to do and bored out of my skull.

It's dead on here, no doubt the usual suspects are out revelling and good on ya for that.

Any volunteer's to tell a story or other wise be entertaining? Or at least hijack this thread into something interesting.

[Zippy]

To yesterday's fck up and last night's rant I've got nothing to do and bored out of my skull.

It's dead on here, no doubt the usual suspects are out revelling and good on ya for that.

Any volunteer's to tell a story or other wise be entertaining? Or at least hijack this thread into something interesting.

I can't do entertaining but I could call you names if that would cheer you up?

[Cliphead]

I can't do entertaining but I could call you names if that would cheer you up?

Yeah, that'll do. Bet you can't come up with any I haven't been called before

[Zippy]

Yeah, that'll do. Bet you can't come up with any I haven't been called before

Oh bollocks - you're right. I've heard about you, you know.

Trumpeter.

[Cliphead]

Oh bollocks - you're right. I've heard about you, you know.

Trumpeter.

Och, you can do better than that

[EternalOptimist]

A few years ago, I got a gig up in Montrose.
Every sunday I would jump in the car and drive up from Manchester, every friday lunchtime, back the other way.

Lots of interesting things happened on that gig.

One friday, it was snowing heavily, and as I got close to Edinburgh, it turned into fierce blizzard.
I crawled over the forth bridge, in total fear, visibilty of about ten feet, howling icy wind. A guy went past me on a skate board.

a few hours later I was coming down the M6. not another vehicle in sight. my steering wheel went wobbly. useless. the car turned sideways and I whizzed down the motorway looking ahead out the side window

There was a bloke from Wales who worked in the team that I was developing an app for. Taff, I think his name was. We used to go out drinking , and we got on ok.
He was so good at his job, and had been doing it for sooo long, that he was an expert. THE authority, but he was bored. So when an equivilent job came up in a different department , he applied, even though it was a few quid less a week. His missus went ballistic.
Anyways, he got the job. That wednesday we met up in town and he was ashen. They had just announced that his new team was being axed, they couldnt tell him when he went for the job because it was all done in secrecy. The old team had started advertising and wouldnt take him back

[MarillionFan]

Many many years ago I'd been single for a few years after splitting up with a longterm girlfriend. I was out partying and boozing and every now and then I'd pull.

Well the first one was a disaster she got so drunk
she passes stone out. The next one her ex boyfriend burst in. The next started to cry as she recounted how her boyfriend was cheating. It started to knock my confidence.

Then the next three over the year were all disasterous. Unknown to me I was allergic to a certain type
of condom I had bought. So allergic my old fella would go red raw in seconds. It felt like it has been covered in
Deep heat. Needless to say Mr Floppy came to
down a bit later.

So having suffered from a disfunctioning member on the next couple of times I decided to buy the
little blue pill.

I'd starting seeing some girl and it was heating up. One night she came around, I cooked a meal but i was nervous. What if the old fella stayed there listless like a rabbit
caught in headlights. I took two pills!

The evening went well. We moved to the bedroom. Mr Floppy had left town and Mr Hard of ******* Hard Town was in. It couldn't be going better. The lights were off, we were all over each other, she leant to the drawer for
the condoms, new ones, ones I was not allergic
to. Let me she said!! This is great I thought. Here we go.....

10 seconds later I was on the floor clutching my everso
erect fella screaming. She'd picked the old brand.

8 hours. 8 ******* hours!!!!!!!

[Cliphead]

The old team had started advertising and wouldnt take him back

[Cliphead]

Many many years ago I'd been single for a few years after splitting up with a longterm girlfriend. I was out partying and boozing and every now and then I'd pull.

Well the first one was a disaster she got so drunk
she passes stone out. The next one her ex boyfriend burst in. The next started to cry as she recounted how her boyfriend was cheating. It started to knock my confidence.

Then the next three over the year were all disasterous. Unknown to me I was allergic to a certain type
of condom I had bought. So allergic my old fella would go red raw in seconds. It felt like it has been covered in
Deep heat. Needless to say Mr Floppy came to
down a bit later.

So having suffered from a disfunctioning member on the next couple of times I decided to buy the
little blue pill.

I'd starting seeing some girl and it was heating up. One night she came around, I cooked a meal but i was nervous. What if the old fella stayed there listless like a rabbit
caught in headlights. I took two pills!

The evening went well. We moved to the bedroom. Mr Floppy had left town and Mr Hard of ******* Hard Town was in. It couldn't be going better. The lights were off, we were all over each other, she leant to the drawer for
the condoms, new ones, ones I was not allergic
to. Let me she said!! This is great I thought. Here we go.....

10 seconds later I was on the floor clutching my everso
erect fella screaming.

8 hours. 8 ******* hours!!!!!!!

[EternalOptimist]

Condoms have always been my downfall as well.

One gf bought a packet of flavoured johnnies,and we agreed to go back and I would put one on. She would give it a slurp then try to guess the flavour.
So we gets back to her place, up into the bedroom, lights off, she goes to the loo while I get undressed and into bed. She comes diving out of the bathroom, and attaches to me tub like a limpet. After a few seconds she surfaces 'yeurrrg, cheese and onion ???'


'Er, I havn't put one on yet'