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RowleyBirkinQC
17th February 2011, 10:18
I'm off for a bacon sandwich. I just felt like mentioning this to get a reaction out of all those ex pats or folks working abroad that miss the good old bacon butty. Mwahahahahahahah :devil

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01379/bacon_sandwich_1379365c.jpg

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 10:21
I am an expat and I eat bacon butties quite regularly; in fact, a local butcher is very keen on British cuts of meat, and he cures his own bacon.

I'll tell you what I really do miss though; Lincolnshire sausages. Must send butcher on study trip to Lincoln.

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 10:25
Enjoy your sarnie SY.

Halo Jones
17th February 2011, 10:25
Thats not a proper bacon buttie; they went & toasted it:eyes

cailin maith
17th February 2011, 10:27
Thats not a proper bacon buttie; they went & toasted it:eyes

:eek You don't toast yours??!!

That toast looks horrible though. Needs to be Warbies Toastie bread.

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 10:28
I must say that while some suggest using the cheapest untoasted white bread, personally I'm rather partial to getting a good white bread and cutting the slices doorstep style before smearing with butter and strong mustard and then chucking in the grilled bacon slices.

Each to his own.

Halo Jones
17th February 2011, 10:33
I must say that while some suggest using the cheapest untoasted white bread, personally I'm rather partial to getting a good white bread and cutting the slices doorstep style before smearing with butter and strong mustard and then chucking in the grilled bacon slices.

Each to his own.

Swap the mustard for brown sauce & I am with you on that one.

Damn I now fancy bacon...

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 10:33
:eek You don't toast yours??!!

That toast looks horrible though. Needs to be Warbies Toastie bread.

I don't always toast mine either - deal with it nun girl!!!

If there's an egg involved I would tend to toast however; to provide a more supportive environment for the bacon and egg.

Board Game Geek
17th February 2011, 10:33
I must say that while some suggest using the cheapest untoasted white bread, personally I'm rather partial to getting a good white bread and cutting the slices doorstep style before smearing with butter and strong mustard and then chucking in the grilled bacon slices.

Each to his own.

Definitely the way to go.

Our local deli serves bacon sarnies in artisan bread paninis, accompanied with a small jar of Tiptree brown sauce, and a side salad of rocket and onion dressed in sweet balsamic. The bacon is also thickly sliced and locally sourced and tastes great too.

Board Game Geek
17th February 2011, 10:36
Halo has just run down the stairs and found some bacon in one of the freezers. :yay:

RowleyBirkinQC
17th February 2011, 10:37
Enjoy your sarnie SY.

he he, she still thinks I'm suity. :D

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 10:38
he he, she still thinks I'm suity. :D

:tired

RowleyBirkinQC
17th February 2011, 10:40
:tired

Ask me a question, any question, that only suity would know, and I bet I don't know the answer.

Never rose to this challenge, so there is benefit of the doubt.

End of.

HTH :rolleyes:

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 10:42
HTH :rolleyes:


Not really...

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 10:43
Swap the mustard for brown sauce & I am with you on that one.

Damn I now fancy bacon...Yep, I like brown sauce too, but I've found this German mustard that can compete with Colman's for sheer mouth exploding sharpness, and have become rather addicted to the stuff.

Ignis Fatuus
17th February 2011, 10:43
I am an expat and I eat bacon butties quite regularly; in fact, a local butcher is very keen on British cuts of meat, and he cures his own bacon.

I'll tell you what I really do miss though; Lincolnshire sausages. Must send butcher on study trip to Lincoln.ISTR every Albert Heijn having thick-cut bacon and soft rolls?

RowleyBirkinQC
17th February 2011, 10:46
Yep, I like brown sauce too, but I've found this German mustard that can compete with Colman's for sheer mouth exploding sharpness, and have become rather addicted to the stuff.

http://www.acbsystems.com/images/smilies/gay.gif

:D

NotAllThere
17th February 2011, 10:47
I'm off for a bacon sandwich. I just felt like mentioning this to get a reaction out of all those ex pats or folks working abroad that miss the good old bacon butty. Mwahahahahahahah :devil

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01379/bacon_sandwich_1379365c.jpg

You total and utter bastard. :D

jmo21
17th February 2011, 10:48
I am an expat and I eat bacon butties quite regularly; in fact, a local butcher is very keen on British cuts of meat, and he cures his own bacon.

I'll tell you what I really do miss though; Lincolnshire sausages. Must send butcher on study trip to Lincoln.

When I worked in Holland, the local deli used to do a large croissant with bacon or a sausage baked right into it - it was immense!

And now I'm hungry!!

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 10:49
ISTR every Albert Heijn having thick-cut bacon and soft rolls?

Good rolls and bread, but the bacon's a bit soggy. The butcher does a much better job of curing the bacon. You can also just ask a butcher to slice some 'ontbijtspek' more thickly than normal. A crap buther will look at you as if you are green with 6 legs, but a good butcher will recognise you as a true connoisseur of fine meat products and will be delighted to help.

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 10:50
http://www.acbsystems.com/images/smilies/gay.gif

:D

I think you'd better empty your colostomy bag before you leave a wet patch in bed.

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 10:51
You total and utter bastard. :D

I'll be making one for lunch, smoked dry cure bacon sliced thick side of medium, thick cut bread (fresh this morning). Yum.

cailin maith
17th February 2011, 10:53
I don't always toast mine either - deal with it nun girl!!!

If there's an egg involved I would tend to toast however; to provide a more supportive environment for the bacon and egg.

Listen knicker-flasher - it's toast in my house and you'll bloody like it!

I'm getting better at making fried eggs though, they need to be runny but not snotty.


he he, she still thinks I'm suity. :D

YAWN!!!! Because you are. Now stop messing and just admit it.

RowleyBirkinQC
17th February 2011, 10:54
I'll be making one for lunch, smoked dry cure bacon, thick cut bread (fresh this morning). Yum.

Just finished mine, thinking about having another. http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u55/BJ_BOBBI_JO9/Medical%20health%20sick%20ill%20related/10_8_5.gif

RowleyBirkinQC
17th February 2011, 10:56
Listen knicker-flasher - it's toast in my house and you'll bloody like it!

I'm getting better at making fried eggs though, they need to be runny but not snotty.



YAWN!!!! Because you are. Now stop messing and just admit it.

Nope. I'm as much suity as Wodewick is MF. :moon:

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 10:57
Listen knicker-flasher - it's toast in my house and you'll bloody like it!

I'm getting better at making fried eggs though, they need to be runny but not snotty.



All well and good, but a girl who can make me a good eggs benedict will get a good evening out and an even better night in.

FiveTimes
17th February 2011, 10:58
red sauce on bacon sarnie, brown sauce on sausage. Deffo not on toast.

I thought this was the unwritten rule ?

MarillionFan
17th February 2011, 11:00
YAWN!!!! Because you are. Now stop messing and just admit it.

Mods. Do your job please.

Suity asked you to delete his account. I think it's only fair that his last request is carried out.

Thank you.

MF
MarillionFan UK

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 11:03
red sauce on bacon sarnie, brown sauce on sausage. Deffo not on toast.

I thought this was the unwritten rule ?

What about on a bacon and sausage butty?

I've got some of those pork and black pudding sausages in the fridge, I might finesse the lunch bacon sarnie into bacon and sausage, ketchup on that combo for me :)

On the toast debate I don't mind, but if making for myself I wouldn't toast.

suityou01
17th February 2011, 11:04
Mods. Do your job please.

Suity asked you to delete his account. I think it's only fair that his last request is carried out.

Thank you.

MF
MarillionFan UK

<swagger>

You looking for me, punk. :cool:

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:05
Listen knicker-flasher - it's toast in my house and you'll bloody like it!

I'm getting better at making fried eggs though, they need to be runny but not snotty.



YAWN!!!! Because you are. Now stop messing and just admit it.

As long as the toast is cold, that's Ok. You knows the rules!

Not runny eggs though, noooooooo.

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 11:07
Figured as much, not only a liar, but fails to pay off on a bet too.

suityou01
17th February 2011, 11:08
Figured as much, not only a liar, but fails to pay off on a bet too.

Ah, MF's sockie. Marvellous, thought so, just needed proof. :winker:

wobbegong
17th February 2011, 11:12
Yep, I like brown sauce too, but I've found this German mustard that can compete with Colman's for sheer mouth exploding sharpness, and have become rather addicted to the stuff.

I'm not surprised Mich, over the last year or so Colmans has been getting progressivly weaker IMHO. A teaspoon of the stuff used to make a bee line for the brain via the sinuses, sending steam out of the ears and making the eyes water in the process. Now it's like slightly zesty picallilly. I've even taken to trying the own brand stuff to try and get that sinus hit, but all to no avail.

:ohwell

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 11:14
I'm not surprised Mich, over the last year or so Colmans has been getting progressivly weaker IMHO. A teaspoon of the stuff used to make a bee line for the brain via the sinuses, sending steam out of the ears and making the eyes water in the process. Now it's like slightly zesty picallilly. I've even taken to trying the own brand stuff to try and get that sinus hit, but all to no avail.

:ohwell

That's probably not the brand, but you've incinerated your sinuses with mustard overdose :)

MarillionFan
17th February 2011, 11:16
Ah, MF's sockie. Marvellous, thought so, just needed proof. :winker:

Welcher

cailin maith
17th February 2011, 11:16
As long as the toast is cold, that's Ok. You knows the rules!

Not runny eggs though, noooooooo.

:laugh Fair enough!

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 11:16
I'm not surprised Mich, over the last year or so Colmans has been getting progressivly weaker IMHO. A teaspoon of the stuff used to make a bee line for the brain via the sinuses, sending steam out of the ears and making the eyes water in the process. Now it's like slightly zesty picallilly. I've even taken to trying the own brand stuff to try and get that sinus hit, but all to no avail.

:ohwell

YOu could try the 'extra hot' variant from this lot;

Kuhne mustard at TheFind.com - search, discover and compare prices (http://www.thefind.com/food/browse-kuhne-mustard)

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:17
All well and good, but a girl who can make me a good eggs benedict will get a good evening out and an even better night in.

A bloke who can make a decent cuppa will get the same from me :laugh

suityou01
17th February 2011, 11:19
Welcher

Dullard.

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 11:22
A bloke who can make a decent cuppa will get the same from me :laugh

Oh that's easy :)

I find it hard to credit that anyone over the age of 10 can't fry an egg properly, the white should be firm and the yolk runny. That applies even in a bacon and egg butty.

MarillionFan
17th February 2011, 11:22
Dullard.

Welching bedwetter.

Can you not do anything properly? You can't even flounce and use sockies properly. You're bloody hopeless.

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 11:24
Top tip; stir a little wasabi paste into your mustard. It'll end up looking like snot but you'll get that supercharged effect you're looking for.

cailin maith
17th February 2011, 11:25
Oh that's easy :)

I find it hard to credit that anyone over the age of 10 can't fry an egg properly, the white should be firm and the yolk runny. That applies even in a bacon and egg butty.

Well, give me your top egg frying tips. I'm tulip at doing eggs although, this weekend I thought I did an ok job of it.

Hmmmnnnn the tantrum I threw when he spent ages looking for a diplomatic answer to my "is your egg ok?" question was spectacular. Any 3 year old would have been sooooooo proud.

.....and then I sulked for a bit too.

suityou01
17th February 2011, 11:26
Welching bedwetter.

Can you not do anything properly? You can't even flounce and use sockies properly. You're bloody hopeless.

If by sockies you mean that Rowley fella then you're way off. Nice chap though.

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:26
Oh that's easy :)

I find it hard to credit that anyone over the age of 10 can't fry an egg properly, the white should be firm and the yolk runny. That applies even in a bacon and egg butty.

I can poach them, boil them, and I make a divine scrambled if I do say so myself. Fried? I'm terrible.

My fried eggs always come out flat, crispy, and part exploded.

FiveTimes
17th February 2011, 11:27
What about on a bacon and sausage butty?


That would be red sauce.

I know some people that don't butter the bread !!!

cailin maith
17th February 2011, 11:28
That would be red sauce.

I know some people that don't butter the bread !!!

Me - I don't butter the bread. Or if I do, it'll only be one side.

FiveTimes
17th February 2011, 11:28
fry your eggs in a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper. hot pan.

simple :D

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:29
That would be red sauce.

I know some people that don't butter the bread !!!

Who are those sick bastards?

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:31
fry your eggs in a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper. hot pan.

simple :D

I think I have my heat too high actually.

Board Game Geek
17th February 2011, 11:34
Who are those sick bastards?

:wave:

Eg, jam on toast is just that. Jam on top of toast. Not on top of butter.
Same for honey, marmite, whatever.

Bacon sandwich is just that. Bread, bacon, no butter.

I do have butter other times, eg, sliced bread with butter, or in a ham sandwich, or on a roll to accompany soup for example.

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:35
:wave:

Eg, jam on toast is just that. Jam on top of toast. Not on top of butter.
Same for honey, marmite, whatever.

Bacon sandwich is just that. Bread, bacon, no butter.

I do have butter other times, eg, sliced bread with butter, or in a ham sandwich, or on a roll to accompany soup for example.

That's awful. You can't have MARMITE without something underneath it! How d'you spread it effectively?

Board Game Geek
17th February 2011, 11:38
That's awful. You can't have MARMITE without something underneath it! How d'you spread it effectively?

With a knife and it seems to work reasonably well tbh. And I do have something underneath it. It's called toast.

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:39
With a knife and it seems to work reasonably well tbh. And I do have something underneath it. It's called toast.

That's preposterous. That's like going to bed without a sheet on - your marmite needs support, not to be left alone on that toast.

Think of the marmite.

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 11:41
Frying an egg is dead easy.

Pan, ordinary cooking oil (or fat of your choice) to a couple of mm depth max.
Pan on medium heat for 30-45 secs so there's some heat in the oil, but it's not smoking. If the pan is hot to start then all you wind up with is an egg with a burnt lacy surface that you could use as a frisbee or cut your lip on. Plus you won't have time to cook the white properly before the bottom has turned to plastic.
Break egg into the pan, from fairly close to the pan bottom so it's not falling far.
Flip fat onto the top surface to encourage the white on the top to cook. Optionally you can flip the whole egg, but it will need no more than 10 seconds upside down.

The whole process takes about a minute, cooked white, runny yolk.

It's quite possible to do the same with no fat in a good non stick pan, but that takes a bit more practice.

Incidentally I don't usually butter the bread, especially if bacon and egg butty so the yolk can sink into the bread :)

Halo Jones
17th February 2011, 11:42
With a knife and it seems to work reasonably well tbh. And I do have something underneath it. It's called toast.

Actually when he had marmite on toast yesterday there was butter: as yes you can not spread marmite without butter:wink

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 11:42
That's awful. You can't have MARMITE without something underneath it! How d'you spread it effectively?

Valid point I agree totally, but butter is optional in a bacon butty.

Halo Jones
17th February 2011, 11:43
All well and good, but a girl who can make me a good eggs benedict will get a good evening out and an even better night in.

This is true, I make a great eggs benedict & BGG just loves it :smile

Board Game Geek
17th February 2011, 11:44
That's preposterous. That's like going to bed without a sheet on - your marmite needs support, not to be left alone on that toast.

Think of the marmite.

How do you know how I sleep ? <looks worried>

Ofc, there is a perfectly logical explanation for that. Let's see if you can guess.

With regards to the Marmite, it truly is the nectar of the gods, and imho, any interference with another ingredient is just tainting the purity of the taste.

Marmite is big and strong enough to stand on it's own two feet and doesn't need support from pseudo-butter substitutes.

OH FFS ! Halo just told me that she's always buttered my Marmite toast.......for 20 yrs...omg....

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:51
OH FFS ! Halo just told me that she's always buttered my Marmite toast.......for 20 yrs...omg....

:laugh

I hope this thread has reinforced what a wonderful woman you have there.

Board Game Geek
17th February 2011, 11:53
:laugh

I hope this thread has reinforced what a wonderful woman you have there.

Oh most definitely, in ways that never cease to amaze, surprise or scare me 5hitless.

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:53
Frying an egg is dead easy.

Pan, ordinary cooking oil (or fat of your choice) to a couple of mm depth max.
Pan on medium heat for 30-45 secs so there's some heat in the oil, but it's not smoking. If the pan is hot to start then all you wind up with is an egg with a burnt lacy surface that you could use as a frisbee or cut your lip on. Plus you won't have time to cook the white properly before the bottom has turned to plastic.
Break egg into the pan, from fairly close to the pan bottom so it's not falling far.
Flip fat onto the top surface to encourage the white on the top to cook. Optionally you can flip the whole egg, but it will need no more than 10 seconds upside down.

The whole process takes about a minute, cooked white, runny yolk.

It's quite possible to do the same with no fat in a good non stick pan, but that takes a bit more practice.

Incidentally I don't usually butter the bread, especially if bacon and egg butty so the yolk can sink into the bread :)

I like a hard yolk, none of this runny yellow stuff. Otherwise though, it sounds good - tell me your cuppa tea method.

Halo Jones
17th February 2011, 11:53
Oh most definitely, in ways that never cease to amaze, surprise or scare me 5hitless.

Awwww bless, what are you after?

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 11:55
Awwww bless, what are you after?

Probs that bacon butty - put loads of butter on it!

Board Game Geek
17th February 2011, 11:56
Probs that bacon butty - put loads of butter on it!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo ! Don't encourage her !

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 11:58
I like a hard yolk, none of this runny yellow stuff. Otherwise though, it sounds good - tell me your cuppa tea method.

Barbarian!!! Solid yolk in a hard boiled egg maybe, but in a fried egg? Why bother wasting an egg.

Good tea = find a tea that you like + Boiling water (100 degrees) + brew for 30-60 seconds with some stirring + a bit of milk added after the tea is brewed and the bag removed

If the water isn't 100 degrees the tea won't brew which is why you can't make decent tea at altitude without a pressurised kettle.

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 12:03
Barbarian!!! Solid yolk in a hard boiled egg maybe, but in a fried egg? Why bother wasting an egg.

Good tea = find a tea that you like + Boiling water (100 degrees) + brew for 30-60 seconds with some stirring + a bit of milk added after the tea is brewed and the bag removed

If the water isn't 100 degrees the tea won't brew which is why you can't make decent tea at altitude without a pressurised kettle.

I don't like soggy food. Or food that looks normal but pops when you cut into it, splishing yellow goo everywhere.

Not bad, but I need longer than a 30-60 second brew! You call me a barbarian.

Spacecadet
17th February 2011, 12:05
Solid yolk is a must in a Bacon and Egg Sarnie.
Saves having to put what was a clean shirt in the wash

cailin maith
17th February 2011, 12:06
3

I don't like soggy food. Or food that looks normal but pops when you cut into it, splishing yellow goo everywhere.

Not bad, but I need longer than a 30-60 second brew! You call me a barbarian.

WSS Brewing is important.

rhubarb
17th February 2011, 12:06
I like a hard yolk, none of this runny yellow stuff. Otherwise though, it sounds good - tell me your cuppa tea method.

Gawd bless ya MaryPoppins!

Halo Jones
17th February 2011, 12:07
I love a trong coffee but I admit my tea is filth: looks more like hot milk than tea :emb

wobbegong
17th February 2011, 12:08
Top tip; stir a little wasabi paste into your mustard. It'll end up looking like snot but you'll get that supercharged effect you're looking for.

Gret idea! Thanks, I'll give it a go.


That's preposterous. That's like going to bed without a sheet on - your marmite needs support, not to be left alone on that toast.

Think of the marmite.

Agree 100%, but "buttering someones marmite" does sound a little bit dodgy.

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 12:09
WSS Brewing is important.

Brew time is a critical component, but is subject to the question "how strong do you like your tea?".

darmstadt
17th February 2011, 12:12
Go to the Senf (Mustard) Museum* in Köln (Cologne) where you get bits of hot sausage and bread to test all the different types of mustard they have. In Düsseldorf there is also Lowensenf who have a big shop (and there's a good mustard shop in Nürnburg as well, up near the castle.)

* Over the road is the Chocolate Museum, you put pounds on just walking in...

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 12:13
Brew time is a critical component, but is subject to the question "how strong do you like your tea?".

Well I would say I like my tea about 3000 times stronger than that pathetic girly watery 'tea' that the Dutch drink. Utter wimps, the lot of them; they pour hot water into a glass, then a few minutes later they tip a puny bag of weak tea in it for about 5 seconds, then put the tea bag on a little saucer and re-use it twice. A nation of girlies.

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 12:14
Brew time is a critical component, but is subject to the question "how strong do you like your tea?".

I like mine very strong with a small splash of milk - like all civilised people, surely.

I won't stand for a fake strong tea - i.e. not brewed long enough; with a very small amount of milk added to attempt to give the initial impression of a strong brew.

cailin maith
17th February 2011, 12:15
Brew time is a critical component, but is subject to the question "how strong do you like your tea?".

Plenty strong with not much milk. Only skim milk too - if no skim, then black.

Or Earl Grey, without milk obv. for hangovers.

MaryPoppins
17th February 2011, 12:15
Agree 100%, but "buttering someones marmite" does sound a little bit dodgy.

Give over, you know you love your marmite buttered on a Sunday morning.

Mich the Tester
17th February 2011, 12:18
Strong tea is a sign of a nation of stout and solid citizens who don't take tulip from anybody.

I've long thought that the British, Irish, Australians, New Zealanders, Canadians and many East Africans are made of stouter stuff than others, and I think it's the tea that does it.

TykeMerc
17th February 2011, 12:21
I live in an area with really soft water, 1 min in boiling water with a decent stir makes nice strong tea. I agree with only a spot of milk.

I agree the Dutch can't make tea, but weirdly the Portuguese can.

RichardCranium
18th February 2011, 21:53
That's not a proper bacon buttie; they went & toasted it:eyesQuite.


:eek You don't toast yours??!!Normal people don't.


That toast looks horrible though. Needs to be Warbies Toastie bread.:sick Warburton's soya bread? Jeez. It should be a nice white seeded bloomer.


I'm rather partial to getting a good white bread and cutting the slices doorstep style before smearing with butter and strong mustard and then chucking in the grilled bacon slices.MUSTARD? ON BACON?

No wonder you've been thrown out of the UK.

But then again, am I right in thinking you are married to A Real Woman? Of the class known as 'Not To Be Argued With'? If so, I understand your desire for passionate distraction. Just.


If there's an egg involved I would tend to toast however; to provide a more supportive environment for the bacon and egg.:confused: A properly constructed fried egg butty does not need to be toasted. Nor does it benefit from it.


I'm getting better at making fried eggs though, they need to be runny but not snotty.:eek: You can't fry eggs?

I could make a full fried breakfast by the time I was 8.

Did you not have a mother?


Red sauce on bacon sarnie, brown sauce on sausage. Deffo not on toast. I thought this was the unwritten rule ?Unwritten? Wrong. It is a Written Law and As God Intended.


What about on a bacon and sausage butty?Breakfast sarnie. Add any dressing as required. Or stay undressed and eat it in the bath.


As long as the toast is cold, that's Ok. You knows the rules!Cold toast for a breakfast sarnie? Are you a lonely, single woman with cats?


Not runny eggs though, noooooooo.White cooked. Egg runny. It is The Law.


I find it hard to credit that anyone over the age of 10 can't fry an egg properly, the white should be firm and the yolk runny. That applies even in a bacon and egg butty.WTMS.


Top tip; stir a little wasabi paste into your mustard.Mich, don't post when you're on the drugs. OK?


Well, give me your top egg frying tips.I shall, before this post is done.


I can poach them, boil them, and I make a divine scrambled if I do say so myself. Fried? I'm terrible. My fried eggs always come out flat, crispy, and part exploded.You have the oil / fat too hot.


That would be red sauce. I know some people that don't butter the bread !!!For egg or bacon butties, if there is any risk of dryness to the bread, I have one slice buttered and the other ketchuped.


Me - I don't butter the bread. Or if I do, it'll only be one side.Your mother is forgiven.


fry your eggs in a bit of olive oil, salt and pepper. hot pan.5X, I wouldn't argue with you because I am frightened of you. But you are WRONG. Olive oil has a stronger flavour than the eggs; use lard or sunflower oil. Neither the salt nor the pepper will dissolve in the oil and so are wasted. The salt would damage a non-stick frying pan. Do not use a hot pan; it makes the protein in the white go brown before the yolk is cooked.


I think I have my heat too high actually.Ditto when you are cooking eggs.


Frying an egg is dead easy when a man tells you how.ftfy


Pan, ordinary cooking oil (or fat of your choice)A tasteless oil such as sunflower or yummy fat like lard.


to a couple of mm depth max.Wrong. To a depth of 1cm minimum to cook the white. A deep fat fryer is OK too; the fat cannot be too deep for fried eggs.


Pan on medium heat for 30-45 secs so there's some heat in the oil, but it's not smoking. If the pan is hot to start then all you wind up with is an egg with a burnt lacy surface that you could use as a frisbee or cut your lip on. Plus you won't have time to cook the white properly before the bottom has turned to plastic.:yay: Without going into lots of organic chemistry, WTMS.


Break egg into the pan, from fairly close to the pan bottom so it's not falling far.Feck it, break it into a small mug, then tip it into the fat. That way rancid eggs are spotted, and you get no shell in the pan. :wink


Flip fat onto the top surface to encourage the white on the top to cook.So easy to say, so hard to explain. Use a large pan and using a fish slice, flick the hot fat over the egg to cook the top.


Optionally you can flip the whole egg, but it will need no more than 10 seconds upside down.If you want a horrible hard yolk.


The whole process takes about a minute, cooked white, runny yolk.... once you are perfect. Do it in cool oil = up to 8 minutes and good egg. Do it in hot oil = 1 minute and fecked egg.


It's quite possible to do the same with no fat in a good non stick pan, but that takes a bit more practice.It is quite possible to do a blow job and enjoy it. But that is fantasy too.


Incidentally I don't usually butter the bread, especially if bacon and egg butty so the yolk can sink into the bread :)Especially when the egg is cooked in lard.


I don't like soggy food. Or food that looks normal but pops when you cut into it, splishing yellow goo everywhere.When you make an egg butty, break the egg yolk once it is on the bread and spread it using the butter knife.


Solid yolk is a must in a Bacon and Egg Sarnie. Saves having to put what was a clean shirt in the washSir, you are a clueless peasant. See above.

MaryPoppins
18th February 2011, 22:23
I won't quote that post RC, but I will grant you're right on most of those things. 'Cept the runny eggs and the blowjobs.

DaveB
18th February 2011, 23:36
Top tip.

If you stick a fried egg in your bacon sarnie or are just having an egg banjo ( runny yolk of course) eat it over another slice of bread, buttered or not according to preference, then fold that in half and eat. :D

gingerjedi
19th February 2011, 09:53
Beer can sand witch

Yeah man.:cool2:

GreenLabel
20th February 2011, 13:14
If you want a horrible hard yolk.

Yep. I'm definitely not a fan of the flipped egg.

CheeseSlice
20th February 2011, 16:35
Yep. I'm definitely not a fan of the flipped egg.

I've done this a few times recently because I CBA flicking the hot fat over the yolk (most of it going all over the hob or my clothes). If you do it quickly for 3-4 seconds and serve up straight away it'll be fine with plenty of runnyness.

Halo Jones
21st February 2011, 08:50
So many ways / beliefs to cooking an egg; as ever with any food “cook to taste”

GreenLabel
21st February 2011, 09:01
I won't quote that post RC, but I will grant you're right on most of those things. 'Cept the runny eggs and the blowjobs.

Were it not for this hangover I'm sure I'd have got at least a dozen jokes out of this one, but right now I've got nuthin'.

MaryPoppins
21st February 2011, 09:30
Were it not for this hangover I'm sure I'd have got at least a dozen jokes out of this one, but right now I've got nuthin'.

I'm disappointed in you.

DaveB
21st February 2011, 09:33
I won't quote that post RC, but I will grant you're right on most of those things. 'Cept the runny eggs and the blowjobs.


Were it not for this hangover I'm sure I'd have got at least a dozen jokes out of this one, but right now I've got nuthin'.


I'm disappointed in you.

MP's obviously not a fan of anything that's warm, runny and dries to a crust :D

GreenLabel
21st February 2011, 09:34
I'm disappointed in you.

:igmc:

suityou01
21st February 2011, 09:35
MP's obviously not a fan of anything that's warm, runny and dries to a crust :D

Or anything that if she grabs it with both hands it's likely to spurt everywhere. :tongue

MaryPoppins
21st February 2011, 09:36
MP's obviously not a fan of anything that's warm, runny and dries to a crust :D

Not on my toast at any rate, Dave.

GreenLabel
21st February 2011, 10:00
I'm disappointed in you.

I was working along the lines of "one is a warm, gooey, unpleasant mouthful, and the other one's an egg", but the foggy head this morning just isn't helping me to polish it into anything satisfying.

So to speak.

MaryPoppins
21st February 2011, 11:11
I was working along the lines of "one is a warm, gooey, unpleasant mouthful, and the other one's an egg", but the foggy head this morning just isn't helping me to polish it into anything satisfying.

So to speak.

Do you want me to start with the jokes about polishing, satisfying etc? This could go on all day!

GreenLabel
21st February 2011, 11:32
Not on my toast at any rate, Dave.

Wot, even if it's buttered first?

MaryPoppins
21st February 2011, 11:37
Wot, even if it's buttered first?

As long as it's not hot toast, because that would be disgusting.

GreenLabel
21st February 2011, 11:46
Do you want me to start with the jokes about polishing, satisfying etc? This could go on all day!

You say that like I've got something better to do.

MaryPoppins
21st February 2011, 11:48
You say that like I've got something better to do.

Ah, hungover at work. The good old days.

GreenLabel
21st February 2011, 12:04
Ah, hungover at work. The good old days.

Tequila is evil. Definitely no runny eggs, metaphorical or otherwise, for me this morning. :puke:

DaveB
21st February 2011, 12:10
Tequila is evil. Definitely no runny eggs, metaphorical or otherwise, for me this morning. :puke:

I can't interest you in breakfast then?

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/01_03/SarnyYOU1801_468x378.jpg

GreenLabel
21st February 2011, 12:16
I can't interest you in breakfast then?

TBH the runny yolk I can handle, it's just when there are parts of the white that are left undercooked, and there's that half-clear-half-white snotty uncooked ring around the yolk.

Not cool. Not cool at all.