The Real Reason Monkeys Don't Frequent CUK

[Churchill]

They're frightened that AtW would want to shag them.

[AtW]

You are barking up the wrong tree dude.

[DimPrawn]

You are barking up the wrong tree dude.

Don't try and squirrel out of it.

[MarillionFan]

You are barking up the wrong tree dude.

He's making a monkey out of you!

[monkeyboy]

[AlfredJPruffock]

In a mango orchard outside a village there lived a mischievous monkey.

The whole day, he would jump from one tree to another. Thus the monkey kept on eating the ripe mangoes. The orchard-keeper tried to trap the monkey.

But every time the monkey escaped the trap.

One day, the monkey wandered out to the nearby town. “

The town people are so busy. There is so much crowd here,” the monkey thought. Soon the monkey was sneaking into houses and running away with eatables. By evening, he had made life difficult for the town people. “The town is more fun than the orchard. I will live here,” he thought.

Days went by and the monkey was looked upon by the town people with terror. “Here he comes again,” they screamed when they saw the monkey.

One day, a juggler came to the town. The people of the town approached him. “We want you to help us get rid of that mischievous monkey,” they said to the juggler. The juggler said in return, “Do not worry. Get me some jars with narrow necks,”

When the jars of the size were brought to him, he put peanuts into the jars and placed them out on a field.

The monkey became curious when he saw the jars. When he went and peeped inside the jars, he saw peanuts. “Yummy! Let me quickly grab the peanuts and run,” he thought. He put his hand inside the jar and grabbed a big handful.

But he could not pull out his clenched fist, as the neck of the jar was so narrow. If the monkey dropped some peanuts back into the jar, he could have pulled his hand out. But he was greedy. So he did not drop some peanuts into the jar.

The town people trapped the monkey with his hand inside the jar. They got hold of the rope and tied him in a post. Then the monkey was sold to a zoo.

That was the end of the greedy monkey.

[MarillionFan]

story.

Since when are jugglers supposed to be smart? Plus, a wandering juggler. How the hell did a juggler make enough money to travel? Plus the locals would have killed him as a gypsy.

This story is full of holes.

[EternalOptimist]

In a mango orchard outside a village there lived a mischievous monkey.

The whole day, he would jump from one tree to another. Thus the monkey kept on eating the ripe mangoes. The orchard-keeper tried to trap the monkey.

But every time the monkey escaped the trap.

One day, the monkey wandered out to the nearby town. “

The town people are so busy. There is so much crowd here,” the monkey thought. Soon the monkey was sneaking into houses and running away with eatables. By evening, he had made life difficult for the town people. “The town is more fun than the orchard. I will live here,” he thought.

Days went by and the monkey was looked upon by the town people with terror. “Here he comes again,” they screamed when they saw the monkey.

One day, a juggler came to the town. The people of the town approached him. “We want you to help us get rid of that mischievous monkey,” they said to the juggler. The juggler said in return, “Do not worry. Get me some jars with narrow necks,”

When the jars of the size were brought to him, he put peanuts into the jars and placed them out on a field.

The monkey became curious when he saw the jars. When he went and peeped inside the jars, he saw peanuts. “Yummy! Let me quickly grab the peanuts and run,” he thought. He put his hand inside the jar and grabbed a big handful.

But he could not pull out his clenched fist, as the neck of the jar was so narrow. If the monkey dropped some peanuts back into the jar, he could have pulled his hand out. But he was greedy. So he did not drop some peanuts into the jar.

The town people trapped the monkey with his hand inside the jar. They got hold of the rope and tied him in a post. Then the monkey was sold to a zoo.

That was the end of the greedy monkey.

There is a concenus Alf, green monkeys are smart. The theory that anthropomorphic Green Wild(AGW) monkeys are sentient is proven, the science is settled. So dont come round here juggling the stats with your sceptical ways, dont forget, the mangoes caused the monkeys, it wasnt the monkeys that caused the mangoes

[Support Monkey]

did somebody call my name

[AlfredJPruffock]

... did I forget to say it was all - Once Upon a Time ? - Jings !



If we shadows
have offended
think but this;
and all is mended

that you have but slumbered here
while these Monkey visions did appear

and this weak
and idle theme
no more yielding
but a dream.