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View Full Version : how do your family/friends feel about you being a contractor?



robin
1st March 2011, 10:16
I ask this as I find the biggest mental hurdle for me contracting is the views/comments of my family and friends through I think just not fully understanding contracting.

Its almost like they think this is just a temporary mad phase I'm going through and I will soon see sense and go back to a 'proper job'. I quit my permie job to go contracting and I got my first contract and got told "well they might offer you permanent which would be good to take".

I've had comments about 'not getting paid while off' even after saying well I get paid more contracting to cover for those times and have savings purposely built up to cover also, I get 'well thats a good job you do given you don't get paid when off!' in a sarcastic tone.

My other half earns a good wage as a permie and certain tones/comments makes me believe they are thinking I'm now having this great time working as a 'temp' and my other half is now having to cover me. I'm not very specialized so not earning mega dosh like some people on these boards but still earning more than when I was permie.

Anyone else has experience of this? I know I should not care what other people think but sometimes it drives me mad feeling I have to keep justifying my reasons/choices to go contracting.

Old Greg
1st March 2011, 10:20
I ask this as I find the biggest mental hurdle for me contracting is the views/comments of my family and friends through I think just not fully understanding contracting.

Its almost like they think this is just a temporary mad phase I'm going through and I will soon see sense and go back to a 'proper job'. I quit my permie job to go contracting and I got my first contract and got told "well they might offer you permanent which would be good to take".

I've had comments about 'not getting paid while off' even after saying well I get paid more contracting to cover for those times and have savings purposely built up to cover also, I get 'well thats a good job you do given you don't get paid when off!' in a sarcastic tone.

My other half earns a good wage as a permie and certain tones/comments makes me believe they are thinking I'm now having this great time working as a 'temp' and my other half is now having to cover me. I'm not very specialized so not earning mega dosh like some people on these boards but still earning more than when I was permie.

Anyone else has experience of this? I know I should not care what other people think but sometimes it drives me mad feeling I have to keep justifying my reasons/choices to go contracting.

As long as you and your partner are happy, don't let it bother you. But if it does, leave some business bank account statements around. They won't understand the need to pay VAT and other taxes so they'll think you're raking it in.

d000hg
1st March 2011, 10:26
Get friends who are less concerned with judging you?

sasguru
1st March 2011, 10:27
Well if you're not earning at least a 6 figure sum each year, you're a loser.

shaunbhoy
1st March 2011, 10:32
Well if you're not earning at least a 6 figure sum each year, you're a loser.

But you only earn six figures because you count the first two places after the decimal point.

:laugh

d000hg
1st March 2011, 10:35
Well if you're not earning at least a 6 figure sum each month from each of your contracts, you're a loser.

MF.

sasguru
1st March 2011, 10:41
But you only earn six figures because you count the first two places after the decimal point.

:laugh

There's a reason why you're poor.
Its because you're thick.

HTH

alreadypacked
1st March 2011, 10:51
I ask this as I find the biggest mental hurdle for me contracting is the views/comments of my family and friends through I think just not fully understanding contracting.
I'm not very specialized so not earning mega dosh like some people on these boards but still earning more than when I was permie.

Anyone else has experience of this? I know I should not care what other people think but sometimes it drives me mad feeling I have to keep justifying my reasons/choices to go contracting.

What is your career plan?
How are you going to climb the next rung of the contracting ladder?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?
How are you going to Bob prof your skill set?

These questions are not just for permies, if you don't think about them now in a few years time you will be on the bench.

Maybe it's you, who do just not fully understanding contracting.

milanbenes
1st March 2011, 11:10
Dobbin,

you don't half ask some silly questions

Milan.

Sands of Time
1st March 2011, 11:20
Never explain anything to anyone about anything.

Breaching Official Secrets Act.


Bing!

Churchill
1st March 2011, 11:24
I'm a consultant.

End of.

DS23
1st March 2011, 11:25
What is your career plan?
How are you going to climb the next rung of the contracting ladder?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?
How are you going to Bob prof your skill set?

These questions are not just for permies, if you don't think about them now in a few years time you will be on the bench.


wss

suityou01
1st March 2011, 11:32
Can't quite hear you over the sound of all that cash rolling in. Sorry.

HTH

Suity

:rolleyes:

curtis
1st March 2011, 11:36
What is your career plan?
How are you going to climb the next rung of the contracting ladder?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?
How are you going to Bob prof your skill set?

These questions are not just for permies, if you don't think about them now in a few years time you will be on the bench.

Thats great advice and maybe they have got plans/goals but thats not what they were really asking and going slightly off topic. They wanted to know peoples experiences with any views of their decision to go contracting from the point of view of family etc.

Like someone else said as long as your happy and know your ok then just try and forget the views of other people most of the time they say it from a more caring perspective and don't understand people can look after themselves and make the right decisions for their own situation and needs.

SueEllen
1st March 2011, 12:01
Thats great advice and maybe they have got plans/goals but thats not what they were really asking and going slightly off topic. They wanted to know peoples experiences with any views of their decision to go contracting from the point of view of family etc.

I come from a family of contractors and self-employed people so that really isn't an issue.

In regards to friends - quite a few of them run their own businesses or have close relations who are or have been contractors/freelancers.

I do actually find it funny, mainly because people don't know how experienced I am ( I look younger than my age apparently ), when other contractors start telling me things I already know from family and family.

The different ways we work aren't discussed with those who are permie or have a pemie mindset so
I suggest if you have any teenagers in your family make them aware of the way you work indicating the rewards and pitfuls.

shaunbhoy
1st March 2011, 12:04
There's a reason why you're poor.
Its because you're thick.


Regarding the OP's question, not sure why you even looked in. You don't have any friends, and your family long since disowned you.

Stick to threads where you contributions might be valued...........if one should ever happen.

:laugh

Sands of Time
1st March 2011, 12:18
Can't quite hear you over the sound of all that cash rolling in. Sorry.

HTH

Suity

:rolleyes:


Yes - good post.


Bing!

jmo21
1st March 2011, 12:18
I'm the opposite actually, a number of my friends are desperate to know how much I earn as an "IT Contractor".

I politely decline all questions with waffle about how downtime, no pension, sick days, holidays etc evens it all out.

Funnily enough, I didn't tell my mum and dad for over 2 years after starting contracting.

You might laugh, but they went mental at me when I left my first permy job (large, well known, establised US consultancy) for a small software house (~20 people).

They were annoyed I hadn't told them, but they've never voiced any concern over it.

badger7579
1st March 2011, 13:03
I'm the opposite actually, a number of my friends are desperate to know how much I earn as an "IT Contractor".

I politely decline all questions with waffle about how downtime, no pension, sick days, holidays etc evens it all out.

Funnily enough, I didn't tell my mum and dad for over 2 years after starting contracting.

You might laugh, but they went mental at me when I left my first permy job (large, well known, establised US consultancy) for a small software house (~20 people).

They were annoyed I hadn't told them, but they've never voiced any concern over it.


WHS. Usually have the other problem, people think you're minted!!

MarillionFan
1st March 2011, 13:11
I'm a c**t.

End of.

Aint that the truth.

Churchill
1st March 2011, 13:17
Aint that the truth.

What's wrong MF, your wife shagging the hired help again?

Old Greg
1st March 2011, 13:19
What's wrong MF, your wife shagging the hired help again?

I've got better taste than that.

Churchill
1st March 2011, 13:20
What's wrong MF, your wife shagging the hired help again?


I've got better taste than that.

I didn't know you were married to MF! :eek

Old Greg
1st March 2011, 13:22
I didn't know you were married to MF! :eek

Could be worse.

Churchill
1st March 2011, 13:22
Could be worse.

Yeah, Wilmslow is single.

Old Greg
1st March 2011, 13:24
Yeah, Wilmslow is single.

I said it could be worse.

MarillionFan
1st March 2011, 13:35
What's wrong MF, your wife shagging the hired help again?

Well that's why I hired him. It's a dirty job and I'm not going to do it.

Ruprect
1st March 2011, 14:35
When I mentioned to my mother in law that clientco wanted to make me permie, she said 'time to grow up then?'

:eyes

Old Greg
1st March 2011, 14:36
When I mentioned to my mother in law that clientco wanted to make me permie, she said 'time to grow up then?'

:eyes

My mother-in-law has no idea I'm a contractor.

MarillionFan
1st March 2011, 14:40
My mother-in-law has no idea I've been on the dole for six months, can't even get an interview for McDonalds and post shiite all day on an internet forum

ftfy

SueEllen
1st March 2011, 14:41
When I mentioned to my mother in law that clientco wanted to make me permie, she said 'time to grow up then?'

:eyes

You have to remember loads of old folk had jobs for life.

Even if you were permie now it would be highly likely you would had worked for a good few companies even if you just stayed in the same job. (I actually contracted for a client who managed to have 3 name changes in a year as they were 3 different companies.)

It's funny some mates of mine who are retired couple get stressed every time one of their children mentions that there are redundancies in their organisation. There as I'm like "And ?".

Old Greg
1st March 2011, 14:46
My mother-in-law has no idea I've been on the dole for six months, can't even get an interview for McDonalds and post shiite all day on an internet forum


ftfy

Apparently she does.

thunderlizard
1st March 2011, 14:58
My friends are mostly slightly jealous of how I get to take loads of time off between contracts and do other stuff. (I do like to take humungous chunks of bench time). Not the money though, as they are mostly professionals, and left me behind in that respect years ago.

robin
1st March 2011, 15:35
I think for a lot of people (especially family) when I explain how I work, being at different places, they associate it like 'temping', most understand temping as this is the way you work and therefore contracting is the same.

Its like some see the word 'contracting' as what you call temping in the IT area.

When I tell people I can earn more contracting again I think most think of it like a 'temp' where it must just be a bit more not what can be 'a lot' more. Its almost like they think how can doing exactly the same job but working in a more temporary way mean you know earn loads more??

EternalOptimist
1st March 2011, 16:19
I think for a lot of people (especially family) when I explain how I work, being at different places, they associate it like 'temping', most understand temping as this is the way you work and therefore contracting is the same.

Its like some see the word 'contracting' as what you call temping in the IT area.

When I tell people I can earn more contracting again I think most think of it like a 'temp' where it must just be a bit more not what can be 'a lot' more. Its almost like they think how can doing exactly the same job but working in a more temporary way mean you know earn loads more??

Tell them you are a director. Tell them 'love to chat, but I have to organise my accounts, pay my corporation tax and meet the payroll'


fck em
just fkn fkng fck em


:rolleyes:

Lumiere
1st March 2011, 16:50
I ask this as I find the biggest mental hurdle for me coming out is the views/comments of my family and friends through I think just not fully understanding me.

Its almost like they think this is just a temporary mad phase I'm going through and I will soon see sense and go on a date with a 'nice girl' one day.


Funnily enough, I didn't tell my mum and dad for over 2 years after starting :moon:

HTH

Churchill
1st March 2011, 16:50
Tell them you are a director. Tell them 'love to chat, but I have to organise my accounts, pay my corporation tax and meet the payroll'


fck em
just fkn fkng fck em


:rolleyes:

***** yeah!

KentPhilip
1st March 2011, 17:13
I just explain that contracting is the normal way of working, with normal rates of pay of (say) £300/day. And that Permanent employment is an artificial construct designed to pay people a fraction of the normal pay for implied job security and a less efficient allocation of resources.

shoes
1st March 2011, 18:13
Why care what they think? If they had opinions worth listening to they wouldn't have spent their lives on a permie treadmill of misery hoping they aren't living in poverty at retirement. Snide comments are rooted in jealousy, take heart in the fact that they come from people who know full well you're living your life better than them; they're annoyed at themselves, not you.

Plough your own furrow.

conned tractor
1st March 2011, 18:25
Maybe he'll get a real job this time.


Is the drivel I hear through my wife from the inlaws.

MarillionFan
1st March 2011, 18:28
I get why don't you get rid of the shop and contracting and get a proper job with holidays and healthcare.

Beggars belief.

MrMark
1st March 2011, 21:27
I'm finding most of my contacts/friends in similar work, and of a similar age, are contracting anyway (or long since redundant).
To others, who don't understand what contracting is, I sometimes say I'm a freelance. There again, a lot understand the basics of being a contractor as they will know of a builder or a security guy who've worked on a contract basis.

Iron Condor
2nd March 2011, 08:35
I ask this as I find the biggest mental hurdle for me contracting is the views/comments of my family and friends through I think just not fully understanding contracting.



Buy (or lease) a flash new Car, a BMW or Merc.

That will shut all your critics up.

shaunbhoy
2nd March 2011, 08:56
Buy (or lease) a flash new Car, a BMW or Merc.

That will shut all your critics up.

He's right you know. Intimidate the fook out of them.

MaryPoppins
2nd March 2011, 09:18
He's right you know. Intimidate the fook out of them.

You don't need a flash car to do that

NorthWestPerm2Contr
2nd March 2011, 09:28
He's right you know. Intimidate the fook out of them.

The Brute force approach usually works :ladybags:

TestMangler
2nd March 2011, 09:36
From 1994 when I started contracting (after taking VR from the civil service), every time I started a contract, my Dad would ask if "there was any chance they'd give me a proper job" at the end :ladybags: :ladybags:

In 2000, I landed a direct to client gig at £1100 a day (wish these days would come back !!) and asked my old man if he would go to the bank to deposit a cheque for me as I was flying about and he is retired so has **** all to do :p

After he did it, he asked me (you don't need to tell me son, was just wondering) how long the cheque was for. When I told him 'a month' he was gobsmacked and has never asked about 'proper jobs' since :wink:wink

My old man was one of these old fashioned people who believed in a 'job for life' and worked most of his life for one company and only changed jobs when he lost his original one in a takeover, but this idea of him telling people for six or seven years that I didn't have a 'proper job' used to irritate the **** out of me :rollin:

SallyAnne
2nd March 2011, 09:48
I'm a consultant.

End of.

WDS

NorthWestPerm2Contr
2nd March 2011, 10:09
I have several friends who are doctors/dentists who all graduated post 2000. They used to brag about how they got higher graduate salaries than everybody else (though I dispute this considering the ridiculous hours they must do).

I was always struggling while permie and decided I had enough and jumped to being a contractor. They all thought I was nuts to leave the "security" of a permie job for the "insecurity" and "instability" of being a contractor. I used to drive a crappy old Seat Leon. Suddenly I have 2 newish for me and the Mrs and at the same time she stopped working.

They were thinking :tumble:

MaryPoppins
2nd March 2011, 10:40
No one really gives a crap, probably because I don't talk about money with friends or family. I'll leave that for all the blokes here :tired

Old Greg
2nd March 2011, 10:44
No one really gives a crap, probably because I don't talk about money with friends or family. I'll leave that for all the blokes here :tired

Oi! It's only those blokes who feel the need to compensate for inadequacies elsewhere.

Pondlife
2nd March 2011, 10:44
No one really gives a crap, probably because I don't talk about money with friends or family.

Zaccly.

Friends don't care what we earn. In laws are happy that their DD has a high standard of living.

MaryPoppins
2nd March 2011, 10:47
Oi! It's only those blokes who feel the need to compensate for inadequacies elsewhere.

Big car + brags about money = inadequacies

Got it.

cailin maith
2nd March 2011, 10:56
Big car + brags about money = inadequacies

Got it.

WSS

Old Greg
2nd March 2011, 10:58
Big car + brags about money = inadequacies

Got it.

I'm being a little unfair. It's not necessarily that kind of inadequacy. I think sometimes it's about insecurities regarding sexuality.

sasguru
2nd March 2011, 10:59
I'm being a little unfair. It's not necessarily that kind of inadequacy. I think sometimes it's about insecurities regarding sexuality.

Dim is quite limp, so his wife told me.

Old Greg
2nd March 2011, 11:00
Dim is quite limp, so his wife told me.

How did you get her out of his car boot?

StopTheEarthIwantToGetOff
2nd March 2011, 11:00
As others have rightly stated. Its nobody elses business but yours and your partners.
The most important thing to consider here is why do you care what others think?

sasguru
2nd March 2011, 11:01
How did you get her out of his car boot?

I deflated her.

conned tractor
2nd March 2011, 11:13
Then there's the spongers...."go on your loaded....."

TykeMerc
2nd March 2011, 11:25
Then there's the spongers...."go on your loaded....."

My loaded what? Or did you mean You are often written as you're?

Old Greg
2nd March 2011, 11:29
My loaded what? Or did you mean You are often written as you're?

Hey, TM! You're still missing a full stop after 'meaning' in your signature.

TykeMerc
2nd March 2011, 11:32
Hey, TM! You're still missing a full stop after 'meaning' in your signature.

Thanks, I forgot to fix that when you mentioned it before. I'll review it later.

MaryPoppins
2nd March 2011, 12:04
My loaded what? Or did you mean You are often written as you're?

I love you're grammatical tirades :smile

TykeMerc
2nd March 2011, 12:14
I love you're grammatical tirades :smile

EVIL GIT. I just find the use of wrong words throws the context off and it's hard to read, I know my grammar and punctuation can be a bit awful sometimes.

MaryPoppins
2nd March 2011, 12:19
EVIL GIT. I just find the use of wrong words throws the context off and it's hard to read, I know my grammar and punctuation can be a bit awful sometimes.

I no.

I am gonna do it on purpose with you from know on.

Old Greg
2nd March 2011, 12:39
EVIL GIT. I just find the use of wrong words throws the context off and it's hard to read, I know my grammar and punctuation can be a bit awful sometimes.

You need a full stop after 'read'.

conned tractor
2nd March 2011, 12:44
My loaded what? Or did you mean You are often written as you're?

My bad.

:rolleyes:

Freamon
2nd March 2011, 21:59
I ask this as I find the biggest mental hurdle for me contracting is the views/comments of my family and friends through I think just not fully understanding contracting.

Its almost like they think this is just a temporary mad phase I'm going through and I will soon see sense and go back to a 'proper job'. I quit my permie job to go contracting and I got my first contract and got told "well they might offer you permanent which would be good to take".

I've had comments about 'not getting paid while off' even after saying well I get paid more contracting to cover for those times and have savings purposely built up to cover also, I get 'well thats a good job you do given you don't get paid when off!' in a sarcastic tone.

My other half earns a good wage as a permie and certain tones/comments makes me believe they are thinking I'm now having this great time working as a 'temp' and my other half is now having to cover me. I'm not very specialized so not earning mega dosh like some people on these boards but still earning more than when I was permie.

Anyone else has experience of this? I know I should not care what other people think but sometimes it drives me mad feeling I have to keep justifying my reasons/choices to go contracting.
Doesn't the fact that you own a massive house and drive a Lambo get the message across to them?

You are a contractor, after all.

sasguru

MF