singhr's fashion tips #5 - don't tango your palms ladies

[singhr]

Had to don sunglasses this morning on train to avoid blinding glare from a tangoed biffa with full war paint on.

Once my retinas had calmed down I studied the young lady in question with a critical eye. The usual blotchy fake tan giveaway had been avoided by this specimen by going for the two coats of undercoat and six of top coat method, thus rendering her the colour and texture of a bonnet from a 1975 Ford Escort Mexico. She had also elected to spray herself all the way into her scalp thus avoiding the tide line usually associated with young ladies with little time or no cash for several canisters of the tango goo.

She was heading for a 9/10 for effort and application when I noticed the school girl error - orange palms! Which brings me to my fashion tip today - when applying fake tan ladies, first coat your palms with moisturiser or Swarfega so that you can wash it off once you've rubbed the fake tan in.

[DimPrawn]

Now you've got me thinking of Essex girls and swarfega!

FFS!

Down boy!

[norrahe]

Had to don sunglasses this morning on train to avoid blinding glare from a tangoed biffa with full war paint on.

Once my retinas had calmed down I studied the young lady in question with a critical eye. The usual blotchy fake tan giveaway had been avoided by this specimen by going for the two coats of undercoat and six of top coat method, thus rendering her the colour and texture of a bonnet from a 1975 Ford Escort Mexico. She had also elected to spray herself all the way into her scalp thus avoiding the tide line usually associated with young ladies with little time or no cash for several canisters of the tango goo.

She was heading for a 9/10 for effort and application when I noticed the school girl error - orange palms! Which brings me to my fashion tip today - when applying fake tan ladies, first coat your palms with moisturiser or Swarfega so that you can wash it off once you've rubbed the fake tan in.

[Peoplesoft bloke]

..... colour and texture of a bonnet from a 1975 Ford Escort Mexico.

Including the black stripes?

<anoraxia> Actually the 1975 car was the RS Mexico although I guess you could have registered a Mexico very late </anoraxia>

[singhr]

Including the black stripes?

<anoraxia> Actually the 1975 car was the RS Mexico although I guess you could have registered a Mexico very late </anoraxia>

Mate I am so old that it's a wonder I got the decade right. All I had to go on was a vague memory of a lurid green and a bright orange escort which my addled brain somehow knew went with the word Mexico!