• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

******* children!!!!

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    ******* children!!!!



    Massive presentation in the morning. Had four hours to finish. Missus gone out!

    ******* kids one after the other up screaming!

    Is there a particular length of time you can apply a pillow over a face without it being fatal?
    What happens in General, stays in General.
    You know what they say about assumptions!

    #2
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post


    Massive presentation in the morning. Had four hours to finish. Missus gone out!

    ******* kids one after the other up screaming!

    Is there a particular length of time you can apply a pillow over a face without it being fatal?
    Get them in the living room, bit of toast each, any old crap on telly, Corries are good, sleep in five mins. Easy.

    After making sure they're fully zonked out, carry them up to their beds, they won't even remember in the morning, Mrs MF will never know, crack open another Special Brew and enjoy the peace.

    Trust me...

    Comment


      #3
      They are trying it on. The important thing is to remember that you modulate the emotional tone, if you get upset you will only escalate the situation. Listen to them, give them what they want, and put them back into bed.
      While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post


        Massive presentation in the morning. Had four hours to finish. Missus gone out!

        ******* kids one after the other up screaming!

        Is there a particular length of time you can apply a pillow over a face without it being fatal?
        Sound proof the cupboard under the stairs and chuck them in there with duvets and pillows and maybe some food.
        Bazza gets caught
        Socrates - "The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing."

        CUK University Challenge Champions 2010

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by doodab View Post
          They are trying it on. The important thing is to remember that you modulate the emotional tone, if you get upset you will only escalate the situation. Listen to them, give them what they want, and put them back into bed.
          With the quantity of cocaine in his system?

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post


            Massive presentation in the morning. Had four hours to finish. Missus gone out!

            ******* kids one after the other up screaming!

            Is there a particular length of time you can apply a pillow over a face without it being fatal?
            15 minutes - just to be sure. I am sure you won't die from exhaustion from that.
            "Condoms should come with a free pack of earplugs."

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by cailin maith View Post
              Sound proof the cupboard under the stairs and chuck them in there with duvets and pillows and maybe some food.
              Ah the Fritzel method of parenting!
              Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy
              I can't see any way to do it can you please advise?

              I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.

              Comment


                #8
                The wife eventually came home from whatever evening drinks do she was at to find me in the office and the youngest one screaming his head off in his room.

                'How long has he been crying?'
                'About an hour and a half' I replied
                'You've left him his room for an hour and half crying!!!!'
                'Of course not, ten minutes or so, he's been down with me for an hour. I've been asking people on an internet forum the best way to smother him'

                She scowled at me and gave him some Calpol and put him to bed.

                So thanks for nothing CUK. The answer was Calpol!
                What happens in General, stays in General.
                You know what they say about assumptions!

                Comment


                  #9
                  I'm guessing what word is hidden behind the *s and must inform you that it is illegal and immoral. You are a very naughty boy.
                  And what exactly is wrong with an "ad hominem" argument? Dodgy Agent, 16-5-2014

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
                    The answer was Calpol!
                    It always is.
                    Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
                    +5 Xeno Cool Points

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X