Really bored

[ChrisPackit]

Really bored today.

Can someone please cheer me up with some jokes .... preferably in a Bernard Manning style ..... and preferably to include a vicar, an Indian and a prostitute...

Oh no, I've just realised I've got MORE kids birthday parties this weekend

[Moose423956]

Oh no, I've just realised I've got MORE kids birthday parties this weekend

How did the last one go?

[ChrisPackit]

How did the last one go?

I think the highlight for me was picking the fluff out of my belly button, and sniffing it...

None of them pissed their pants though, so that was a bonus.

[Dearnla]

I've got an ADULT party to go to on Sat night. No, not THAT sort of adult party, just a Murder Mystery type of thing.

What's wrong with just sitting around getting Tulip faced??

[eek]

got a boring weekend lined up and a trip to Bournemouth on Monday (is it 4 flights or 2 if you don't leave the plane at the first stop).

As for a joke I can only apologise for this

just got the DNA results back for Bin Laden. 24% cocoa, 18% sugar, 52% coconut and 6% milk.

Experts say this is probably due to the bounty on his head.

[EternalOptimist]

There was this vicar right, and he was a right randy old goat. He was talking with his best mate , Abu Babba, when he espies this hooker on the street corner.
So he says to his mate, 'Sorry , must go, I'm going er, sailing with that young lady over there'

So he disappears for the afternoon, with the young lady.

Next day the Indian see her on the street corner, and goes up to her to ask how the afternoon went with the vicar. She says 'err, fine, he was great'

So the vicars mates says, 'Its hard to believe. He's only ever done it three times before. The first time he fell off. The second time he got soaked. and the third time, his hat blew off'