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Dr Mr Cameron

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    Dr Mr Cameron

    Dear Mr. Cameron,

    Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK's economy.

    Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

    You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

    There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

    Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

    1) They MUST retire.
    Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

    2) They MUST buy a new British car.
    Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

    3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
    Housing Crisis fixed

    4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
    Crime rate fixed

    5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
    And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

    It can't get any easier than that!

    P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

    If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

    Also………..

    Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

    This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

    They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

    They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

    Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

    A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

    They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

    They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

    Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

    Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

    Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

    There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

    The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

    Think about this (more points of contention):

    COWS

    Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

    And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
    Last edited by DimPrawn; 25 May 2011, 19:11.

    #2
    Did you make that up or nick it from somewhere?
    While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

    Comment


      #3
      DP for PM.

      What about public sector workers? Will they have to get real jobs and lose the 3x final salary pensions?

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by doodab View Post
        Did you make that up or nick it from somewhere?
        nicked. Was in an email.

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
          nicked. Was in an email.
          UKIP Mailing List?
          While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

          Comment


            #6
            It's a sheet state of affairs and even that is starting to sound old as it's been this way for 30 years now. The abolition of parliament would be a good start or we could just leave that London parliament, wait a minute!
            "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience". Mark Twain

            Comment


              #7
              Idiotic plan because it would require £10 trln to be printed and who'd sell asset like house or car to rapidly (like 20-50 times down) depreciating pound?

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by AtW View Post
                Idiotic plan because it would require £10 trln to be printed and who'd sell asset like house or car to rapidly (like 20-50 times down) depreciating pound?
                Oh listen, the hallowed sound of **** all.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by doodab View Post
                  Did you make that up or nick it from somewhere?
                  DP and AtW both did the same degree.

                  BSC in Crtl-C Ctrl-V

                  What happens in General, stays in General.
                  You know what they say about assumptions!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
                    DP and AtW both did the same degree.

                    BSC in Crtl-C Ctrl-V

                    If I were you I wouldn't be raising my head above the parapet, you appear to have the same grasp of international current affairs and geopolitics as DimPrawn.

                    Comment

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