UK Citizenship test tomorrow - ask your questions here

[AtW]

Go on, ask away, it has to be multiple choice with 4 answers of which only one should be correct

[The Lone Gunman]

Whilst walking through the East End of London a chap dressed in a waistcoat covered in pearl buttons enquires if you could "sausage him a Gregory" would he be:

a. Taking the piss.
b. Proposing you go for lunch with him.
c. Proposing some perverse sexual activity.
d. Requesting that you cash him a cheque.

[sasguru]

Whilst walking through the East End of London a person dressed all in black, head to toe, with a veil, enquires of you in a high pitched voice if you could direct them to the next wholesale fertilizer shop. Are they:

a. A Muslim female with an large allotment
b. A fanatical terrorist
c. Proposing some perverse sexual activity.
d. All of the above

[sunnysan]

Q32

You are walking down the road in the East End of London. You stop to buy a drink. Put the phrases in order of most likely to be understood....

a) Могу я иметь кокс?
b) 我可以有焦炭吗?
c) Melko Czy ma Pan/Pani drobne?
d) Moya? Kum Hada?
e) Could I have a coke please?


Answer
c),d),a),b),e)

[NoddY]

Welcome to the UK.

1. Examine the list below. You are entitled to ALL of these benefits. TO the nearest £1, please state how much an average migrant is better off claiming these compared to going out to work.

* Attendance Allowance
* Back to Work Bonus (see EIM76223)
* Bereavement Payment (see EIM76171), replaced Widow's Payment from 9 April 2001
* Child Benefit
* Child's Special Allowance
* Child Tax Credit
* Cold Weather Payments, see also Winter Fuel payment
* Council Tax Benefit, administered by local authorities
* Constant Attendance Allowance, see industrial disablement benefit below
* Disability Living Allowance
* Exceptionally Severe Disablement Allowance, see industrial disablement benefit below
* Guardian's Allowance
* Housing Benefit, administered by local authorities
* Incapacity Benefit for first 28 weeks of entitlement, taxable thereafter (see EIM76180)
* Income Support, certain payments (see EIM76190)
* Industrial Injuries Benefit, a general term covering industrial injuries pension, reduced earnings allowance, retirement allowance, constant attendance allowance and exceptionally severe disablement allowance
* Invalidity Benefit, replaced by Incapacity benefit from April 1995 but still payable where invalidity commenced before April 1995.
* Maternity Allowance, see EIM76361
* Payments out of the Social Fund to people on a low income to help with maternity expenses, funeral costs, financial crises and as community care grants. The fund also makes interest-free loans.
* Pensioner's Christmas Bonus
* Pension credit
* Reduced Earnings Allowance, see industrial disablement benefit above
* Retirement Allowance, see industrial disablement benefit above
* Severe Disablement Allowance
* War Widow's pension, see EIM76103
* Winter Fuel payment
* Working Tax Credit.


ANSWER: £__00000.00

[sasguru]

You are walking in East End of London. A blonde girl with a short skirt smiles at you. She smiled at you because:

(a) she is your girlfriend
(b) she is on the game
(c) she found your 'tache amusing
(d) a,b and c

Correct answer is (d)

[Fungus]

While walking through the East End of London, a group of casually dressed men carrying high velocity rifles and wearing baseball caps run towards you. They push you to the ground, and then fire 7 live rounds through your head. Should you:

a) Engage in a discussion about the unusually cold weather for the time of year.
b) Ask if they would like Portuguese lessons at favourable hourly rates.
c) Ooze blood and brains over their boots.

[AtW]

Is this the best you can do?

[Fungus]

Is this the best you can do?

Maybe you could try a Google search?

[threaded]

Where is Mansfield Cask Bitter brewed?

a) Doncaster
b) Mansfield
c) Wolverhampton
d) Bristol