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A very sad tale

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    A very sad tale

    My eldest daughter is nearly 16, and she has been going out with a boy for about 18 months. He’s a lovely lad, and I’m very happy that she has found someone nice for her first romantic experience.

    But, his mum isn’t so nice. She has had it in for my daughter all the way through the relationship, and has tried to stop him seeing her. I’ve no idea why, because they are very good together. We even held a surprise birthday party for him at my place for his 16th, organised by my daughter. His parents did nothing towards it, except to provide the cake.

    It all came to a head last week. I was sitting in the dentist’s waiting room when my daughter called me. She was in floods of tears, sobbing uncontrollably, and I couldn’t understand what she was saying. I told her I would speak to her after my appointment.

    When I called back she was still too upset to speak. I spoke to her mum, my ex-wife. She told me that they had been round to the boyfriend’s house to try to sort out why his mum was so against my daughter. The BF’s mother lost it, shouting and screaming at my daughter, calling her all the names under the sun. Then she became aggressive and threatening, and ex-wife and daughter beat a hasty retreat. The boy’s father just stood and watched it all happening.

    It turns out that the boyfriend’s mother has confiscated his phone, deleted his Facebook account, banned him from using the internet at all, and basically placed him under “house arrest” until September. He is not allowed to see my daughter, nor any of his friends, and is only allowed out of the house to attend his remaining GCSEs.

    My daughter spoke to him briefly on the phone after an exam on Monday. They go to different schools so she can’t see him in person. Apparently he said he has a plan. What that involves, he wouldn’t say. He couldn’t speak for long because his mother was waiting outside the school for him to make sure he didn’t go off with his friends.

    I’m very upset by all this. We have welcomed him into our life, and his family have turned against my daughter for no apparent reason.

    I’m also extremely worried about the boyfriend. I think this treatment amounts to child abuse, and she seems unable to control her anger, so she may turn violent.

    I’m not sure what I should do. Should I go round and try to talk to the parents? Should I try to see the boyfriend? Should we report it to Social Services? I’m worried that if we try something like that it might make the situation worse.

    #2
    If he's 16, he can leave home. If he chooses not to do that, that's up to him.
    Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!

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      #3
      Are you sure his parents aren't just forcing him to knuckle down and revise for his GCSEs? My parent pretty much 'locked' me down in the run up to mine, so I dont think its anything out of the ordinary.

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        #4
        People raise their children in different ways. I don't see why that makes it your business.

        To be it sounds like the mother sees your daughter as a distraction to her sons exam success. ie. Spending too much time together, facebook, internet. All banned so he doesn't throw his future away.

        In addition to that the mother sounds jealous. Her little boy is showing another women affection.

        All you can do is be supportive for your daughter and if they want to continue the relationship then you can give them that space. If the other mum kicks off, you can basically go around and just say - Your house your rules, my house, my rules - cappache(sic?)
        What happens in General, stays in General.
        You know what they say about assumptions!

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          #5
          Originally posted by amoeba View Post
          Are you sure his parents aren't just forcing him to knuckle down and revise for his GCSEs? My parent pretty much 'locked' me down in the run up to mine, so I dont think its anything out of the ordinary.
          No, I wish that was the case but it's worse than that. Why would he be locked away till September? And this all happened in the middle of GCSEs, so if that was the case they would have done it before the GCSEs started.

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            #6
            You need Mumsnet not CUK to find a solution for this problem. Although having said that, the posters on there might suggest that you are being unreasonable.
            Vote Corbyn ! Save this country !

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
              People raise their children in different ways. I don't see why that makes it your business.
              To be it sounds like the mother sees your daughter as a distraction to her sons exam success. ie. Spending too much time together, facebook, internet. All banned so he doesn't throw his future away.

              In addition to that the mother sounds jealous. Her little boy is showing another women affection.

              All you can do is be supportive for your daughter and if they want to continue the relationship then you can give them that space. If the other mum kicks off, you can basically go around and just say - Your house your rules, my house, my rules - cappache(sic?)
              Agreed, which is why I'm reluctant to get involved. I don't like seeing kids being mistreated though.

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                #8
                Originally posted by Moose423956 View Post
                No, I wish that was the case but it's worse than that. Why would he be locked away till September? And this all happened in the middle of GCSEs, so if that was the case they would have done it before the GCSEs started.
                Is he an only child or the youngest? I think his mum has suddenly released that he is no longer a child. And has slightly over reacted.

                Beyond that I can't give you any advice other than all people are screwed up in different ways.
                merely at clientco for the entertainment

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                  #9
                  There are 3 sides to every story: their side, the mum's side and the truth, this is usually somewhere in the middle. Be vary careful about wading in, we all like to think of our kids as completely blameless, but the mum may have a vary valid reason why she doesn't like your daughter. Do you really want to find out what that may be?

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                    #10
                    You also need to face the fact that he has quite likely been boffing your under age daughter, so he and quite possibly your daughter have been breaking the law.

                    I presume you have taken steps to ensure you aren't about to become a grandparent?
                    While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

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