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I need a pot noodle….

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    I need a pot noodle….

    There is a desk just opposite me, someone from another team has moved onto it a few weeks ago.

    As today is dress down day for the awards ceremony at a hotel later on, this lass is looking hot. Sizzling. Like she is dressed up for a night on the town.

    Hope I get the dutch courage to chat her up after a couple of beers later……

    Going to be a good day!!

    #2
    Originally posted by Wilmslow View Post
    There is a desk just opposite me, someone from another team has moved onto it a few weeks ago.

    As today is dress down day for the awards ceremony at a hotel later on, this lass is looking hot. Sizzling. Like she is dressed up for a night on the town.

    Hope I get the dutch courage to chat her up after a couple of beers later……

    Going to be a good day!!

    Remember to have a hand shandy in client co bogs before you talk to her.

    We don't want any nasty accidents now, do we ?
    When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by Wilmslow View Post
      There is a desk just opposite me, someone from another team has moved onto it a few weeks ago.

      As today is dress down day for the awards ceremony at a hotel later on, this lass is looking hot. Sizzling. Like she is dressed up for a night on the town.

      Hope I get the dutch courage to chat her up after a couple of beers later……

      Going to be a good day!!
      If you look at her for longer than 5 minutes she can make a case for sexual harassment against you.

      Have fun.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by TestMangler View Post
        Remember to have a hand shandy in client co bogs before you talk to her.
        Don't forget to check yourself for 'earrings' before leaving said bog.
        Feist - 1234. One camera, one take, no editing. Superb. How they did it
        Feist - I Feel It All
        Feist - The Bad In Each Other (Later With Jools Holland)

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by PAH View Post
          Don't forget to check yourself for 'earrings' before leaving said bog.

          Not just 'earrings'. All forms of 'jelly jewelery' should be removed before returning to the office
          When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

          Comment


            #6
            Another tip: If sitting opposite a hottie, consider leaving your flies undone after returning from said bog. If she notices then she's interested, as it's a possible fact that women eye up lunchboxes of males they are interested in 'dancing' with at company award parties.

            If she does notice you can use one of my favourite ever lines from Viz: "Don't worry love, the cage is open but the beast is asleep. "
            Feist - 1234. One camera, one take, no editing. Superb. How they did it
            Feist - I Feel It All
            Feist - The Bad In Each Other (Later With Jools Holland)

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by PAH View Post
              Another tip: If sitting opposite a hottie, consider leaving your flies undone after returning from said bog. If she notices then she's interested, as it's a possible fact that women eye up lunchboxes of males they are interested in 'dancing' with at company award parties.

              If she does notice you can use one of my favourite ever lines from Viz: "Don't worry love, the cage is open but the beast is asleep. "
              I'm sure the 'old boys' of CUK can provide Wilmslow with all manner of 'killer, never known to fail' chat up lines.



              He could start with 'Do you like chicken pet ?'
              When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....

              Comment


                #8
                Psst, Wilmslow - she is the company designated reward for your hard work, well done!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by PAH View Post
                  "Don't worry love, the cage is open but the beast is asleep. "
                  One of my favourite all time Sid the Sexist-isms that I still use to this day!

                  Along with the likes of:

                  "Do you like flowers love?" - "Well, get your two-lips around this!"
                  "Do you like fruit love?" - "Well suck my cock it's a peach" etc etc

                  I can pre-empt the slap around your face now

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I can see the Daily Mail headline now:

                    Drunken IT contractor became leering pervert after half a shandy.

                    "It was horrible" said his beautiful blonde victim from her £250,000 city center apartment.

                    "He seemed relativly normal at first, then he started talking about making a night of it and some sort of reference to being Dutch. He ordered a half of shandy and seemed quite excited by it. He just gulped it down, staring at me and mumbling about pot noodles. It was when he started rubbing himself against the table that I really got frightened. I told the hotel manager and he was thrown out. He was yelling something about wanting to give me some sort of jewellery and kept going on about pearls."
                    "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

                    Comment

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