Cringeworthy moments

[suityou01]

I hope this is ok in the retell, twas funny
As I had a few beers last night I nipped out to Billy's Baguettes this morning for a cure. SY02 asked me to get a round of sandwiches in for the whole tribe.

So I'm sitting there reading the current bun and sipping a coffee when I hear the serving girl remark to three hard working chaps in hi vis jackets standing at the counter

"'Ere lads, didya see those bin men come in earlier?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Didya see the fat one, looked just like family guy innit?"

Laughter ensued with much hilarity.

Then the till girl's eyes flicked over to see me reading the paper, or by now, shooting her a look.

"Err, course, not that there's anyfink wrong wiv fat people" she stammered while back pedalling.

Now at this point I'd like to thank the panel for having drummed/beaten/kicked out of me any sense of feelings as this did not sting at all. In fact, quite the opposite.

I started immediately thinking, how long can I make the girl squirm for.

"Nice save love" I said with an even more withering look.

She stood rooted to the spot, clearly wishing the ground would open up.

I held this stare for a few seconds then couldn't help myself and just burst out laughing.

The relief on her face was well etched.

Proper David Brent stuff.

Anyone got any other cringeworthy moments to share?

[MarillionFan]

Anyone got any other cringeworthy moments to share?

Haven't seen the poster Churchill around for a few weeks, and then today he crawls out from under his rock and is posting all over CUK trying to be edgy and funny.

Brrrrrrrrr. Cringy.

[TestMangler]

I once got stopped by the police while driving home late at night.

When I got out of the car, one officer said "We have stopped you sir, because we have reason to believe you are under the influence of alcohol."

I said, "Why is that officer, was my driving in some way erratic ?"

He replied, "No sir, you have a fat bird on your passenger seat".

Oh, how we laughed

[NotAllThere]

Reading this thread was fairly cringeworthy.

[DimPrawn]

Reading this thread was fairly cringeworthy.

WHS.

Thinking that I'm in someway associated with the OP by being on CUK. Brrr...Shiver.

[Churchill]

Anyone got any other cringeworthy moments to share?

Haven't seen the poster Churchill around for a few weeks, and then today he crawls out from under his rock and is posting all over CUK trying to be edgy and funny.

Brrrrrrrrr. Cringy.

Face it, you're just not big enough. **** off now, there's a good boy.

[Support Monkey]

Talking of fat people, many years ago i worked for a company who inspected cars for a national insurance company, the owners would bring them down and we would check the details of the car were what they were trying to insure, anyways one day this little Fiat 500 rolls up and the driver had to literally prise himself from within, he must have been 25 stone he was huge and how he was driving it i have no idea as his face was literally on the windscreen, so he gets out and i walks over with my clipboard and says "can i have your name sir" to which he replied "yes! It's Mr Tiny" and he burst out laughing

[2BIT]

Anyone got any other cringeworthy moments to share?

when I was a teenager I worked as cleaner at a Naval base and one day felt like a bit of a skive so went into one of the workshop/rooms that was shut and sat in the darkness chilling out, after a while I heard some noise and realised it was the duty officer doing his rounds inspecting the premises...

he came into the room but didn't switch the lights on, I sat there motionless daring not to breath, he went to leave and then for some reason turned back round switched the lights on and caught me hiding in between a bit of machinery and the wall - suffice to say I had no possible explanation for what I was doing - at best I was skiving and at worst was up to something dodgy/sinister - I apologised, walked out shame faced and tried to avoid him for the rest of the day

I still cringe all the years on about it....

[MaryPoppins]

when I was a teenager I worked as cleaner at a Naval base and one day felt like a bit of a skive so went into one of the workshop/rooms that was shut and sat in the darkness chilling out, after a while I heard some noise and realised it was the duty officer doing his rounds inspecting the premises...

he came into the room but didn't switch the lights on, I sat there motionless daring not to breath, he went to leave and then for some reason turned back round switched the lights on and caught me hiding in between a bit of machinery and the wall - suffice to say I had no possible explanation for what I was doing - at best I was skiving and at worst was up to something dodgy/sinister - I apologised, walked out shame faced and tried to avoid him for the rest of the day

I still cringe all the years on about it....

That's made me laugh

[hyperD]

Had the Brazilian cleaners in a few years ago, the tasty one with the shapely arse was hoovering away in the dining room and I was in the kitchen. Opened the fridge door to pick up some food and had a sudden bout of terrible crotch itch. As I was wearing a track suit at the time, dropped the waist band and undies and had a good rub to relieve the itch.

I suddenly heard someone say "I'm sorry..." and I looked up to see the cleaner in the kitchen, red faced and she hurriedly ran out of the kitchen.

We never made eye contact again.