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TimberWolf
7th September 2011, 11:12
Can you think of any?

What does this button do?
We'll only be gone a few hours
You don't need that sweater
Leave the water in the truck

Wodewick
7th September 2011, 11:15
Can you think of any?

What does this button do?
We'll only be gone a few hours
You don't need that sweater
Leave the water in the truck

Is this wire liv-zzzzzzzzzttt.

NotAllThere
7th September 2011, 11:16
No, it's perfectly safe if...
What tree?

Pondlife
7th September 2011, 11:16
I am just going outside and may be some time

wobbegong
7th September 2011, 11:18
"What iceberg?"

TimberWolf
7th September 2011, 11:19
"It's too quiet out there".

Thunk.

Or.. <dons red shirt><says nothing, has no lines to say>...<dead by end of episode>

Mich the Tester
7th September 2011, 11:20
Give us the money or you're in for it, florist poofter.

http://forums.contractoruk.com/general/70381-disgraceful.html

wobbegong
7th September 2011, 11:39
"What the f**k was that?" - The Mayor of Hiroshima

AtW
7th September 2011, 11:44
What's self-destru

MarillionFan
7th September 2011, 11:49
"Where did all those f**king Indians come from?" - General Custer

TimberWolf
7th September 2011, 11:50
"What the f**k was that?" - The Mayor of Hiroshima

"I'm following this guy":
Hiroshima and Nagasaki survivor dies aged 93 | World news | The Guardian (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jan/06/hiroshima-nagasaki-survivor-dies)

TestMangler
7th September 2011, 12:06
Don't worry lads, there's no time for them to equalise. - Darren Fletcher 3/9/2011

NotAllThere
7th September 2011, 12:22
Hmm, it has an almondy flavour.

OwlHoot
7th September 2011, 12:27
"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dis .."

General Sedgwick (sp? name?)

gingerjedi
7th September 2011, 12:35
"Rubber dinghy rapids bruv"

Inspiration from the 4 lions thread.

SimonMac
7th September 2011, 12:36
Spike Milligcan's gravestone reads:

"I told you I was ill"

wobbegong
7th September 2011, 12:38
"Either that wallpaper goes, or I do." - Oscar Wilde

Spacecadet
7th September 2011, 12:40
I'm telling you, it's the ones with the black stripes on the tail that are venomous

Spacecadet
7th September 2011, 12:41
When in london
"'scuse me, I think you just dropped your empty take away wrapper"

Spacecadet
7th September 2011, 12:43
There's not just one nutter driving the one way - there's fecking hundreds of them (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-14820305)

BlasterBates
7th September 2011, 12:45
don't worry about the 'O' rings.

Lockhouse
7th September 2011, 12:46
You know what you can do with your 10% rate reduction....

Pondlife
7th September 2011, 12:50
Yes Dr Banner, I would like to see you when you're angry.

BlasterBates
7th September 2011, 12:59
can you smell hydrogen?

wobbegong
7th September 2011, 13:03
"I'm just going to check the aerial, Emu. I'll be down in a minute"

TimberWolf
7th September 2011, 13:05
"I'm just going to check the aerial, Emu. I'll be down in a minute"

:spel second

BlasterBates
7th September 2011, 13:13
no I don't have an ash tray just throw it out the window

shaunbhoy
7th September 2011, 13:22
"Watch him, he'll have some fooker's eye out!!"

King Harold 1066

AlfredJPruffock
7th September 2011, 14:15
Bugger Bognor

King George V

Mind you - did you ever wonder - whats it like to draw your last breath - eh ?

DaveB
7th September 2011, 14:29
"Don't worry...it's not loaded... "

Terry Kath, rock musician , shortly before shooting himself in the head.

"Now, now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. "
Voltaire (attributed), when asked by a priest to renounce Satan

TestMangler
7th September 2011, 14:49
***** off knob 'ed, thats not a real ******** gun. - John Lennon.

PRC1964
7th September 2011, 15:26
Not witty, but still worth a mention:
"Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius. Do pay it. Don't forget." (http://www.eyewitnesstohistory.com/socrates.htm) - Socrates

Goldenboy
7th September 2011, 15:35
Back in a minute, I'm just going for a s**t!! - Elvis

MarillionFan
7th September 2011, 16:59
"Oh look a polar bear" - Kid on a camping trip in the Arctic.

NotAllThere
7th September 2011, 17:14
No, the drop is on the left side of the path.

Ruprect
7th September 2011, 17:14
What a beautiful drive Jackie, could you pass my sunglasses? There's a reflection coming from that grassy knoll

DodgyAgent
7th September 2011, 17:20
"At least by going through us you will get paid on time" :happy

MarillionFan
7th September 2011, 17:21
"That ticket inspector looks angry" - jean charles de menezes

TimberWolf
7th September 2011, 17:25
You'll never take me alive coppers. <various>

TestMangler
7th September 2011, 17:29
"That ticket inspector looks angry" - jean charles de menezes

:rollin:

MayContainNuts
7th September 2011, 18:21
"I'll be black" - Martin Luther King!

suityou01
7th September 2011, 18:31
It reeks of petrol in here. N Lauda.

Troll
7th September 2011, 19:05
"ban me if you want, I dont care !" AndyW

norrahe
7th September 2011, 19:07
"I told you I was ill" - Spike Milligan

wim121
7th September 2011, 19:41
"Haha, how can a wee blonde chick, like you, hurt me?"

(victims of Karla Homolka)

suityou01
7th September 2011, 19:50
Let Lehmans collapse, it's no biggy. - T Geitner.

AtW
7th September 2011, 19:50
"ban me if you want, I dont care !" AndyW

WHS

vetran
7th September 2011, 20:49
Liked these :

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.
Who: Humphrey Bogart


...and now for a final word from our sponsor...
Who: Charles Gussman, a television writer who wrote for the soap opera Days of Our Lives.

One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death, although Catholics have their hopes.
Who: Alfred Hitchcock

To the strongest!
Who: Alexander the Great
In response to his generals asking the heirless Alexander which one of them would get control of the empire.

Hope I say this:

I've had a hell of a lot of fun and I've enjoyed every minute of it.
Who: Errol Flynn

It's all been rather lovely.
Who: John Le Mesurier,

but its more likely to be this


Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Who: Francisco ("Pancho") Villa

or a poor paraphrase of this:

I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.
Who: Leonardo da Vinci

EternalOptimist
7th September 2011, 20:51
Dodi, I'm tired. I tell you, as soon as my head hits that pillar

BillHicksRIP
7th September 2011, 21:12
Why don't we just wait here for a little while... see what happens...

MarillionFan
7th September 2011, 21:22
Whoever has killed Dave is still
in the building. I suggest we split up.

MarillionFan
7th September 2011, 21:24
'It's my first posting Captain Kirk. I'd love to be part of the away team'

Cliphead
7th September 2011, 21:24
WT...?

d000hg
7th September 2011, 21:53
I can't think of anything to say

BlasterBates
8th September 2011, 05:40
Don't worry it was built to withstand 7 on the Richter scale.

suityou01
10th September 2011, 16:10
oooh you little shit - Steve Irwin

MarillionFan
10th September 2011, 17:06
"Well if I'm a war criminal may god strike me down dead" - Tony Bliar.

Troll
10th September 2011, 20:35
I've just been headhunted sasguru

2BIT
12th September 2011, 12:08
don't worry about the 'O' rings.

where is that from? it's bugging me...

TimberWolf
12th September 2011, 12:09
where is that from? it's bugging me...

He's referring to the Challenger disaster.

Sysman
12th September 2011, 12:56
"I told you I was ill" - Spike Milligan

To Harry Secombe: "I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral."

A recording of Secombe singing was played at Milligan's memorial service.

2BIT
12th September 2011, 15:56
He's referring to the Challenger disaster.
yup that was it!

TestMangler
12th September 2011, 18:33
He's referring to the Challenger disaster.


I thought that was "OK, let her drive then......"

MarillionFan
12th September 2011, 18:38
"It's a bit windy" - Cliphead

Cliphead
12th September 2011, 19:03
"It's a bit windy" - Cliphead

Expecting some roof damage when I get back to the house tomorrow. Almost ran into a fallen tree earlier except for the builder who had the foresight to wear his hi-vis vest and walk beyond the bend to warn approaching traffic.

Seriously.

doodab
12th September 2011, 19:17
A friend of mine did that on a motorbike once. He was very lucky to get away with a broken bike and some bruises.

wim121
12th September 2011, 20:30
Expecting some roof damage when I get back to the house tomorrow. Almost ran into a fallen tree earlier except for the builder who had the foresight to wear his hi-vis vest and walk beyond the bend to warn approaching traffic.

Seriously.

Do people ever accuse you of joking, because you tend to say "seriously" quite a lot?



I cant see what all the fuss is over. Just an ickle breeze up north. We used to have proper gales down south.

Cliphead
12th September 2011, 20:32
Do people ever accuse you of joking, because you tend to say "seriously" quite a lot?



I cant see what all the fuss is over. Just an ickle breeze up north. We used to have proper gales down south.

'Seriously' is a tradition in General. Go hunt it down (you won't have to look too hard). :eyes

wim121
12th September 2011, 20:55
'Seriously' is a tradition in General. Go hunt it down (you won't have to look too hard). :eyes

Seriously?


(oh god, Im doing it now!) :p

Ruprect
12th September 2011, 21:03
'Seriously' is a tradition in General. Go hunt it down (you won't have to look too hard). :eyes

Is Lucy back?