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Mich the Tester
9th September 2011, 11:39
MTT: Can you advise me on who can solve this issue?

Bob: I have been reading Obfuscation to Masters level at Ramananadingdong University.

MTT: Can you help us with this issue, YES or NO?

Bob: I am thinking bla bla (didn't undestand) obfuscation bla bla

MTT: YES or NO?

Bob: this is not bla bla obfuscation bla bla

sasguru
9th September 2011, 11:42
I don't know. My bob is doing an OK (not brilliant, mind) job on my plan D.
He needs close supervision I find.

DaveB
9th September 2011, 11:46
Me : Have you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, is all done in the correct way! <headwobble>

Next Day :

Me : Did you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, has all be done most correctly! <headwobble>

Next Day :

Me : I've just had the Pen Test reports. The firewall wasn't properly configured. Did you do it like I asked?

Bob : No.

:suicide:

Mich the Tester
9th September 2011, 11:46
WTF does this mean;


Hi Mich,

I need the details of 198 and 212 to be failed.


Thanks
Bob

Mich the Tester
9th September 2011, 11:47
Me : Have you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, is all done in the correct way! <headwobble>

Next Day :

Me : Did you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, has all be done most correctly! <headwobble>

Next Day :

Me : I've just had the Pen Test reports. The firewall wasn't properly configured. Did you do it like I asked?

Bob : No.

:suicide:

At least your Bob uses the words 'yes' and 'no'.

malvolio
9th September 2011, 11:50
Me : Have you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, is all done in the correct way! <headwobble>

Next Day :

Me : Did you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, has all be done most correctly! <headwobble>

Next Day :

Me : I've just had the Pen Test reports. The firewall wasn't properly configured. Did you do it like I asked?

Bob : No.

:suicide:
You have to realise that the sideways head wobble is a near sub-conscious way of saying "I'm not going to tell you 'No' because that would be impolite, but 'No'". :)

doodab
9th September 2011, 11:52
WTF does this mean;

It's a puzzle. Have you called the Numberjacks?

wobbegong
9th September 2011, 11:56
Me : Have you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, is all done in the correct way! <headwobble>

Next Day :

Me : Did you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, has all be done most correctly! <headwobble>

Next Day :

Me : I've just had the Pen Test reports. The firewall wasn't properly configured. Did you do it like I asked?

Bob : No.

:suicide:

You missed the last line . . .

Me : You're fired.

NotAllThere
9th September 2011, 11:59
I understood the head wobble to be the same as the western nod. I've seen people unaware of this fact, go almost insane with anger over it. I'm sure there will have been a few murders.

Mich the Tester
9th September 2011, 12:01
You missed the last line . . .

Me : You're fired.

Are you in a position to fire Bobs?

You lucky man.

alreadypacked
9th September 2011, 12:06
Me : Have you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, is all done in the correct way! <headwobble> = I don't understand what you want me to do but this is the correct answer.

Next Day :

Me : Did you configured the firewall like I asked?

Bob : Oh yes, has all be done most correctly! <headwobble>= I don't understand what you want me to do, but this is the correct answer.


Next Day :

Me : I've just had the Pen Test reports. The firewall wasn't properly configured. Did you do it like I asked?

Bob : No. = I still don't understand what you want me to do, but this is the correct answer.


:suicide:

FTFY

chef
9th September 2011, 12:07
headwobble explained (http://goindia.about.com/od/greetingscommunication/a/head-wobble.htm)

stek
9th September 2011, 12:07
I understood the head wobble to be the same as the western nod. I've seen people unaware of this fact, go almost insane with anger over it. I'm sure there will have been a few murders.

From Wikipedia..


The head bobble, head wobble, or Indian head shake refers to a common gesture found in South Asian cultures, most notably in India. This form of nonverbal communication is sometimes referred to as "Indian head shake" or as travel journalist Stephan Wilkinson has described it, "a vague cock of the head." The motion usually consists of a side-to-side tilting of the head in arcs along the coronal plane.[1] It is often performed by the listener in agreement with what is being said by the speaker, such that the speaker perceives there is 'no problem' with the message currently being conveyed.[2]

Mich the Tester
9th September 2011, 12:08
Bob, you are wasting your time and my time. Seeing as I get paid about 40 times as much for my time as you do for your time, please continue.

Wobblyheed
9th September 2011, 12:12
In an office of 45 about 35 are Bobs. Fortunately they're are on a different project to me. **** knows what they do.

All come in together at 9. Heads down at their desks till 12.30. All move to eating area where they open their tupperware containers of curry and rice and proceed to stink out the building. All back to desks at 1pm, heads down until 5.30 and off they all troop out of the building. They hardly ever speak unless it's in hindi, punjabi or whatever to the Bob next to him. The Bobettes are the quietest creatures on the planet - If they do speak it's in the shy, whispering voice of a small child speaking to the teacher on it's first day at school. One of them even asked the Test Centre manager if they could be excused to go to the toilet :emb

I'm guessing they must be doing something right otherwise why would they be over here?

sasguru
9th September 2011, 12:13
duplicate post

sasguru
9th September 2011, 12:14
Bob, you are wasting your time and my time. Seeing as I get paid about 40 times as much for my time as you do for your time, please continue.

That won't last long term since you are not 40 times as good as Bob.

That statement ecompasses the whole problem with Western entitlement.

Mich the Tester
9th September 2011, 12:18
That won't last long term since you are not 40 times as good as Bob.

That statement ecompasses the whole problem with Western entitlement.

Hmm, we'll see, but there are quite a few very big Dutch firms giving up on them and bringing the work back home.

Mich the Tester
9th September 2011, 12:20
Bob's wage inflation is so high that by the time the Bobs understand what goes on in western businesses and learn to communicate properly their price advantage will have evaporated.

eek
9th September 2011, 12:20
I'm guessing they must be doing something right otherwise why would they be over here?

Many bodies, much cheapness. If they are self contained its also look busyness until the absolute final, final deadline is reached then on to next project.

sasguru
9th September 2011, 12:20
Hmm, we'll see, but there are quite a few very big Dutch firms giving up on them and bringing the work back home.

If it's not Bob it will be somebody else.
That's true of most people who post here, there is no long term future in an industry with such low barriers to entry whether intellectual, educational, cultural or geographical.

HTH

Doggy Styles
9th September 2011, 12:45
Tell you what, Bob is truly fecking up at The Oval. 29-4

Ironically the damage is being done by Anderson.

Durbs
9th September 2011, 12:54
Our offshore Bob helpdesk are consistently sneaky feckers. Take yesterday:

Neighbours phone goes, he's out on dinner

Bob: Hello, is that Dave?
Me: No, he's at lunch, can I take a message
Bob: <launches into description of an open ticket>, so can this ticket now be closed?
Me: No, he'll be back in 10 mins, phone back then and leave the ticket open until you have spoken to him
Bob: Ok, I will close the ticket and he can advise if resolved
Me: NO, DO NOT close the ticket, phone in 10 minutes and check with Dave
Bob: Ok

I knew exactly what was going to happen the minute I put the phone down

30 mins later...

Dave: Why has my ticket been closed???? We still have an outage
Bob: Ah, I have spoke to your colleague earlier and he has said incident has been resolved and ticket should be closed...would you like me to raise a new ticket?


What a surprise, every time.

Mich the Tester
9th September 2011, 12:59
Our offshore Bob helpdesk are consistently sneaky feckers. Take yesterday:

Neighbours phone goes, he's out on dinner

Bob: Hello, is that Dave?
Me: No, he's at lunch, can I take a message
Bob: <launches into description of an open ticket>, so can this ticket now be closed?
Me: No, he'll be back in 10 mins, phone back then and leave the ticket open until you have spoken to him
Bob: Ok, I will close the ticket and he can advise if resolved
Me: NO, DO NOT close the ticket, phone in 10 minutes and check with Dave
Bob: Ok

I knew exactly what was going to happen the minute I put the phone down

30 mins later...

Dave: Why has my ticket been closed???? We still have an outage
Bob: Ah, I have spoke to your colleague earlier and he has said incident has been resolved and ticket should be closed...would you like me to raise a new ticket?


What a surprise, every time.

Yes, our Bob keeps rejecting test findings and pointing to ' not in requirements' which is usually bollux. I have made it very clear to everybody including Mr Shawadiwadi; 'I am the Test Manager for this project; I am the only person here who decides whether a finding can be set to 'rejected'. Nobody else may set a finding to 'rejected' without my express written permission'.

How clear do I have to make this, considering the fact that we are on the 20th floor and the window CAN be opened?

d000hg
9th September 2011, 13:31
I don't know. My bob is doing an OK (not brilliant, mind) job on my plan D.
He needs close supervision I find.Where did you find someone qualified to supervise them?

Mich the Tester
9th September 2011, 13:33
Where did you find someone qualified to supervise them?

...and is he called Windsor Davies?

mudskipper
9th September 2011, 14:41
Yes, our Bob keeps rejecting test findings and pointing to ' not in requirements' which is usually bollux. I have made it very clear to everybody including Mr Shawadiwadi; 'I am the Test Manager for this project; I am the only person here who decides whether a finding can be set to 'rejected'. Nobody else may set a finding to 'rejected' without my express written permission'.

How clear do I have to make this, considering the fact that we are on the 20th floor and the window CAN be opened?

Problem is that offshore Bob changes from one week to the next, so you just about get one lot working the way you want and a new lot come on board and start rejecting tickets all over again.

andyc2000
9th September 2011, 15:06
I remember a conversation with one such tester - very thorough though - all I could say was "that's like testing to see if a ford escort could drive on lava - utterly pointless!" Responce was "but it is possibly that someone would try this and the error is unclear...". So I had to account for stuff that people would not do just so I could the testing signed off.

sal626
9th September 2011, 15:16
I’ve worked with Bobs on and off for 10 years….in the early days, there were fewer bobs, so you usually got the cream of the crop. Now with the increase in Bobs you get the cream and the bottom of the barrel stuff. Last clientco, we had to sent a bob back (he had graduated exactly two months ago…).

But relatively speaking, I find testing bobs are better than development bobs. Testing bob will follow a script and execute it, might even identify some odd scenarios. Development bob will read the spec (I guess), not ask any questions, and then develop what he thinks the system should be….

Project Monkey
9th September 2011, 15:40
Our offshore Bob helpdesk are consistently sneaky feckers. Take yesterday:

Neighbours phone goes, he's out on dinner

Bob: Hello, is that Dave?
Me: No, he's at lunch, can I take a message
Bob: <launches into description of an open ticket>, so can this ticket now be closed?
Me: No, he'll be back in 10 mins, phone back then and leave the ticket open until you have spoken to him
Bob: Ok, I will close the ticket and he can advise if resolved
Me: NO, DO NOT close the ticket, phone in 10 minutes and check with Dave
Bob: Ok

I knew exactly what was going to happen the minute I put the phone down

30 mins later...

Dave: Why has my ticket been closed???? We still have an outage
Bob: Ah, I have spoke to your colleague earlier and he has said incident has been resolved and ticket should be closed...would you like me to raise a new ticket?


What a surprise, every time.

I thought this was standard procedure for all helpdesks, not just Bob's.

DaveB
12th September 2011, 09:36
I remember a conversation with one such tester - very thorough though - all I could say was "that's like testing to see if a ford escort could drive on lava - utterly pointless!" Responce was "but it is possibly that someone would try this and the error is unclear...". So I had to account for stuff that people would not do just so I could the testing signed off.

Sounds like he was actually a good tester. The thing to remember is, if it is possible to do something (whether you should or not) in a system, someone will.

Doggy Styles
12th September 2011, 09:45
Sounds like he was actually a good tester. The thing to remember is, if it is possible to do something (whether you should or not) in a system, someone will.I thought that. The network admin system at my clientco went down for over a day last week because of an obscure edge case.

They weren't best pleased here.