Poisoned chalice project

[suityou01]

Week 2 on the project and I just met with the business analyst who should have handed over to me in week 1. (Edit - to be fair not his doing)

The generic process designed by him is a high level overview and each department has their own variations on a theme. The consultancy has quoted for delivering the generic process, yet from my workshops it is clear that if this is delivered no one will use the system.

No hope of redefining the project plan, revisiting the requirements. Also the stakeholders are either on holiday, too busy to attend workshops or cannot be arsed.

It also appears there are other stakeholders that need to be involved that have not been so there are huge requirements gaps.

I am supposed to be preparing the f-spec for sign off by next Friday.

What do I do?

Poll to follow.

[Churchill]

Ask yourself "What would MF do?" and plumb for the opposite.

[suityou01]

Ask yourself "What would MF do?" and plumb for the opposite.

Damn, need a "twat the project manager" option in the poll. Sorry.

[Churchill]

Damn, need a "twat the project manager" option in the poll. Sorry.

I was thinking more along the lines of "Whinge like a bitch", you're not doing too badly in that department. Are you taking lessons?

[suityou01]

I was thinking more along the lines of "Whinge like a bitch", you're not doing too badly in that department. Are you taking lessons?

Don't really need any

Whinging is where there are good options available but you'd prefer to piss and moan.

[MarillionFan]

I was thinking more along the lines of "Whinge like a bitch", you're not doing too badly in that department. Are you taking lessons?

Yes. From me. I know you pitched for the contract but as the spec said 'Must have at least 1 GCSE'. Good luck next time though.

[suityou01]

The BA is a fellow CUKer

[Churchill]

Don't really need any

Whinging is where there are good options available but you'd prefer to piss and moan.

I'll send you an MP3 of the architect here going off on one! Not only does he get louder but his voice raises in pitch also.

[NotAllThere]

Damn, need a "twat the project manager" option in the poll. Sorry.

FTFY.

Get a copy of the book "Deathmarch", by Yourdon. Read it through, then decide what to do. Meanwhile, keep billing.

[Churchill]

Week 2 on the project and I just met with the business analyst who should have handed over to me in week 1. (Edit - to be fair not his doing)

The generic process designed by him is a high level overview and each department has their own variations on a theme. The consultancy has quoted for delivering the generic process, yet from my workshops it is clear that if this is delivered no one will use the system.

No hope of redefining the project plan, revisiting the requirements. Also the stakeholders are either on holiday, too busy to attend workshops or cannot be arsed.

It also appears there are other stakeholders that need to be involved that have not been so there are huge requirements gaps.

I am supposed to be preparing the f-spec for sign off by next Friday.

What do I do?

Poll to follow.

Do what you can and where there a gaps draw a picture of a cloud with "Something wonderful happens here" written in it.

On a serious note.

Fill the gaps as best you can. Make assumptions about the remaining gaps and be sure to explain those assumptions in your report.

You know the drill.

Sh!t happens.

Oh and don't forget to invoice!