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jeremytaxman
28th October 2011, 09:29
Ex is leveraging the kids and being a 'woman' to keep most of the assets, and going forward child maintenance and spousal maintenance for life - the numbers are shocking. She has a job btw.

As least I can get out but kids have to put up ... they hate her ... she is nasty and cold but not abusive.

Am reconciled to asset split and child maintenance is no problem. Even giving her my paid off house, and buying another with big mortgage is a price worth paying.

Whats the chances of convincing the divorce court to let me have the kids ... I'm thinking I could employ an au-pair to drop and collect them from school. Then all the boys are happy !

Any experiences of au-pairs ? .... and I don't mean when you were 22 behind a bush !

.... probably a futile exercise given the UK courts !

Support Monkey
28th October 2011, 09:32
Ex is leveraging the kids and being a 'woman' to keep most of the assets, and going forward child maintenance and spousal maintenance for life - the numbers are shocking. She has a job btw.

As least I can get out but kids have to put up ... they hate her ... she is nasty and cold but not abusive.

Am reconciled to asset split and child maintenance is no problem. Even giving her my paid off house, and buying another with big mortgage is a price worth paying.

Whats the chances of convincing the divorce court to let me have the kids ... I'm thinking I could employ an au-pair to drop and collect them from school. Then all the boys are happy !

Any experiences of au-pairs ? .... and I don't mean when you were 22 behind a bush !

.... probably a futile exercise given the UK courts !

If your soon to be Ex as a job how does she manage the kids when she is at work, this would be your angle for the courts, she has a job and manages the children so can you, (its a slim chance)

DodgyAgent
28th October 2011, 09:32
Ex is leveraging the kids and being a 'woman' to keep most of the assets, and going forward child maintenance and spousal maintenance for life - the numbers are shocking. She has a job btw.

As least I can get out but kids have to put up ... they hate her ... she is nasty and cold but not abusive.

Am reconciled to asset split and child maintenance is no problem. Even giving her my paid off house, and buying another with big is a price worth paying.

Whats the chances of convincing the divorce court to let me have the kids ... I'm thinking I could employ an au-pair to drop and collect them from school. Then all the boys are happy !

Any experiences of au-pairs ? .... and I don't mean when you were 22 behind a bush !

.... probably a futile exercise given the UK courts !

You have certainly come to the right place for objective sensible advice.
I'll start Latvian girls make very good au pairs :tongue

Churchill
28th October 2011, 09:45
Ex is leveraging the kids and being a 'woman' to keep most of the assets, and going forward child maintenance and spousal maintenance for life - the numbers are shocking. She has a job btw.

As least I can get out but kids have to put up ... they hate her ... she is nasty and cold but not abusive.

Am reconciled to asset split and child maintenance is no problem. Even giving her my paid off house, and buying another with big mortgage is a price worth paying.

Whats the chances of convincing the divorce court to let me have the kids ... I'm thinking I could employ an au-pair to drop and collect them from school. Then all the boys are happy !

Any experiences of au-pairs ? .... and I don't mean when you were 22 behind a bush !

.... probably a futile exercise given the UK courts !

You're divorcing her, the kids don't like her. Shoot her.

Btw, spill the beans, did you play away or did she?

IANAMGC

You may get a more constructive response from Mumsnet, assuming it's not rag week over there...

MarillionFan
28th October 2011, 09:52
You're divorcing her, the kids don't like her. Shoot her.

Btw, spill the beans, did you play away or did she?

IANAMGC

You may get a more constructive response from Mumsnet, assuming it's not rag week over there...

:eek:

Am I being unreasonable

I am a man about to divorce my wife, who is a bitch and the kids hate her. Please abuse me.

I am a man did I mention that.

Yours

OP

BrilloPad
28th October 2011, 09:54
Whats the chances of convincing the divorce court to let me have the kids

None. You have to persuade your ex-wife to let you have the kids. I got 4 days a week - but it was quite difficult.

jeremytaxman
28th October 2011, 10:07
None. You have to persuade your ex-wife to let you have the kids.

.... easier to thread water !!!

Mumsnet .... "I am a helpless girlie and my husband is a very bad man ... I am so hurt .... I just want to be fair .... how much can I get ...really !!! and can I get more ... I feel better now, still fair because he is still a very bad man"

contractoruk ... more cynicism than good advice, but often true !

gingerjedi
28th October 2011, 10:09
.... easier to thread water !!!

Mumsnet .... "I am a helpless girlie and my husband is a very bad man ... I am so hurt .... I just want to be fair .... how much can I get ...really !!! and can I get more ... I feel better now, still fair because he is still a very bad man"

contractoruk ... more cynicism than good advice, but often true !

You've not been on mumsnet have you?

BrilloPad
28th October 2011, 10:15
.... easier to thread water !!!

Mumsnet .... "I am a helpless girlie and my husband is a very bad man ... I am so hurt .... I just want to be fair .... how much can I get ...really !!! and can I get more ... I feel better now, still fair because he is still a very bad man"

contractoruk ... more cynicism than good advice, but often true !

It is possible. But not easy. I dont feel you have the right attitude so you are better off giving up.

And what do you expect from a contractor website that is primarily inhabited by technologists? Why not go to dadsnet or some other divorce website?

Men make me so angry! Totally f**king useless! No wonder women run circles round us!

geoff from contracta IOM
28th October 2011, 10:21
I know of several dads who have won custody, nowdays the wishes of the children make up the majority of the courts weighting. Oh and you could try having her sectioned ?

norrahe
28th October 2011, 10:52
I worked with someone who got custody of his daughter. Apparently it was down to his daughters decision to stay with her dad. All depends on the judge and getting a good solicitor.

gingerjedi
28th October 2011, 11:00
Is 'au' Swedish for 'nice'?

BrilloPad
28th October 2011, 11:05
getting a good solicitor.

I was with you up until that point. For divorce finance issues getting a good lawyer helps. But for access you are probably better off on your own. There are places you can get free help.

Scrag Meister
28th October 2011, 11:24
How old are your kids? There view matters more the older they get.

At 14 my daughter decided to move up to London to live with me and my new wife.

My ex-wife shouted a lot but knew there wasn't anything she could do if it went to court.

I am not sure at what age the court would override a mother wishes over the childs.

Hard times, been there, but being out and broke is better than in and miserable.......actually, my life freed up when I got divorced, went contracting and now I'm out and loaded (comparatively) :D :D :D :banana: :banana:

GL with the outcome.

jeremytaxman
28th October 2011, 11:37
Thanks - and yes, I'm already happier to have my freedom at any price

Churchill
28th October 2011, 11:47
Thanks - and yes, I'm already happier to have my freedom at any price

How much for the little girl? The women? How much for the women?

BrilloPad
28th October 2011, 11:47
I am not sure at what age the court would override a mother wishes over the childs.


In general if a child wants to live with mum they get a say at 9. If child wants to live with Dad it is 13.

tractor
28th October 2011, 11:51
I know of several dads who have won custody, nowdays the wishes of the children make up the majority of the courts weighting. Oh and you could try having her sectioned ?

But remember, she is probably trying to do the same to you right now.......

ThomasSoerensen
28th October 2011, 11:53
Whats the chances of convincing the divorce court to let me have the kids ...

The chances of convincing the divorce court to let you have the kids are 50/50. Either you convince the court or you don't.

Churchill
28th October 2011, 11:55
Personally I think the OP is talking bollocks.

He's worried about getting custody of the kids and starts a thread titled "Au Pair"? :winker:

Freamon
28th October 2011, 12:07
You may get a more constructive response from Mumsnet, assuming it's not rag week over there...
Probably not a good idea to take advice from an internet forum on such matters, but instead get a proper divorce lawyer.

Freamon
28th October 2011, 12:08
And what do you expect from a contractor website that is primarily inhabited by technologists? Why not go to dadsnet or some other divorce website?


I must admit I'm a little surprised there is a "dadsnet", but given it exists, I'm not really surprised it's mainly about divorces.

Freamon
28th October 2011, 12:11
There are some good cashback offers on divorces at the moment:

Divorce Online - MoneySavingExpert.com - Cashback Checker (http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/shopping/cashback-sites-comparison/Divorce+Online)

BrilloPad
28th October 2011, 12:12
Probably not a good idea to take advice from an internet forum on such matters, but instead get a proper divorce lawyer.

For divorce finance issues getting a good lawyer helps. But for access you are probably better off on your own. There are places you can get free help.

jeremytaxman
28th October 2011, 12:12
He's worried about getting custody of the kids and starts a thread titled "Au Pair"? :winker:

Churchill looks like you got too excited when you read the title .........

EternalOptimist
28th October 2011, 12:14
It's possible. I got custody of my daughter after the divorce, which was nice, but I left work and didnt get back into full employment for ten years. which was tough.

The courts will act in the childs best interest (ideally), you just have to convince them.
a few dirty tricks are good too



:rolleyes:

jeremytaxman
28th October 2011, 12:25
OK thanks all.

I was actually asking about hiring an Au Pair and hoping that would enable me to continue working, and convince any court that someone was there to attend to the kids during the day (before / after school).

I know this forum is mostly visited with fcukwits like Churchill, but some of you have similar experiences (we're contractors) and thanks for the feedback. I'll of course seek professional advice - (some of you assume I wouldn't).

Thanks Guys - closed now.

Churchill
28th October 2011, 12:29
OK thanks all.

I was actually asking about hiring an Au Pair and hoping that would enable me to continue working, and convince any court that someone was there to attend to the kids during the day (before / after school).

I know this forum is mostly visited with fcukwits like Churchill, but some of you have similar experiences (we're contractors) and thanks for the feedback. I'll of course seek professional advice - (some of you assume I wouldn't).

Thanks Guys - closed now.

Thanks.

Btw, you'd rather pay a stranger to look after your kids than their mother? Well you married her. Btw, I think you got sod all chance. Do report back.

Come back anytime.

ThomasSoerensen
28th October 2011, 12:30
Thanks Guys - closed now.

really? :tongue

This could easily become a new TPD thread.

So, would you hire an Au Pair that does not like naked fully grown gladiators bleeding radiators?