Why do fat people go swimming ?

[Jakes Daddy]

Grrrrr, why the feck do big ol' fatties go swimming when I go ? To get in my damn way, thats why

Been swimming twice this week straight after work - been doing it for a couple of months now, and its been fine up till now

For the sessions I go to, they seperate it into lanes. You have a lane for slow/intermediate swimmers (thats me), a lane for intermediate/fast swimmers, a lane for super fast swimmers, and an area 3 lanes wide (ie. half the pool) that is for kiddies, old folk and people who generally want to splash around.
All sounds nice and fair and organised. For people who are serious about their swimming there is an appropriate lane, for people who want to splash about in a big bath there is half the pool.

So why the feck has this week seen an influx of great huge massive fat 'ol women (think eclipse when they bend over, water jumps out when they jump in) who insist on getting in my lane then stand around in groups in the shallow end gassing to each other, not swimming, and getting in peoples way
Very very occasionally they might have a swim. And they are sooooooo slow There was one point where I ended up behind one of them (not a pleasant thought ), and I was treading water faster than she was swimming.

I've been going for the past few months, and you get to know the regulars. And you could it in all of their faces - they all thought the same as me - get the feck out of my way !

Why they cant go in the big wide splashing around section Lord only knows.

I ended up moving into the intermediate/fast lane last night, but I'm not that good and it knackered me out big style

I go swimming to burn off a few calories - casually ambling along does me no good at all.

Rant over

[BoredBloke]

When the lardy ones go swimming it cuts down the amount of time which they can spend throwing cake down their throats, so it does help them from getting any fatter.

[privateeye]

You're not a real contractor and go to a posh Gym.

I was using the jacuzzi at the local gym a while back and there was this huge lady already in it - when she got out the water level dropped several inches and I had to restrain from shouting Ureka and fat lady you are x cubic metres big.

[Not So Wise]

They feel summer coming on so are trying to lose weight before going on holidays

They don't get that 2 months swimming/dieting and 10 months pig'ing out a skinny body does not make

[Jakes Daddy]

I did think about suggesting to them that they should retire to the coffee shop for a few sticky buns, but thought better of it as there were more of them than me and was afraid that they could use their collective force and drown me

[threaded]

I have the same problems, my excuse though is all the fit Danish birds in the pool. They are just so distracting. There is nothing so perfect to watch as a fit bird doing a front crawl: that part of the stroke when she is lifting her arm out of the water at the same time as rolling and taking a breath, the curve of the water against tight fitting swim suit....

Anyways, on my bike this morning two dawdling fatties riding side by side were blocking the cyclepath. I rings my bell, but ends up having to pull up, so I says "Excuse me ladies", and one of them, the one with the beard, turns and says "We're not ladies", and continue to ride side by side. Yeah, can't hear the bell, but can hear that, so I reply: "Ok, excuse me, not ladies."

[Xenophon]

I have the same problems, my excuse though is all the fit Danish birds in the pool. They are just so distracting. There is nothing so perfect to watch as a fit bird doing a front crawl: that part of the stroke when she is lifting her arm out of the water at the same time as rolling and taking a breath, the curve of the water against tight fitting swim suit....

That is so descriptive I almost came...

[MrsGoof]

Never a problem for me

I ask hem politely, twice

and then Swim bufferfly over the top of them

if they do not get the idea then I swim fly over the top of them with closed fists . I've never had to go beyond this.

MG in 'get outa my fecin way and learn to swim' mode.

Advice for all: learn to swim (really swim, takes several years), the learn to swim fly (properly)

[Board Game Geek]

Thankfully, one does not need to use public swiming pools anymore......

Ok, I'll be honest...no i don't have my own pool....but I know someone who does....lol

The thing about public pools.....


1) The "open" changing areas, which are a haven to lure paedo's
2) The increased chance of verruca's and foot diseases
3) Once in the pool, the "yellow water" incident
4) The "No Dive-Bombing" Rule
5) The other people in the way

[ooermissessnodont]

washing the crutch area

For fat people, washing the crutch area must be difficult at home in the bath. They are unable to open their legs far enough to get a rub round with soap and a flannel because the side of the bath gets in the way of their legs (asuming tehy can get in the bath).

If they try in the shower, they fall over due to their instability.

So down to the baths for a sluice out.

Also local authorities ancourage fatties to go swimming because it raises the level of the pool and the authorities save on water.

Simple really.

ooer