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I will be going to deepest, darkest, greenest Bucks, quaffing copious amounts of Cristal and Margaux, chunks of fresh foie gras, succulent lobster, baskets of fresh oysters and getting more than friendly with the best of breed of Buckinghamshire's finest filly.
Then I'll wake up in 2012 with a crusty sock puppet nestled tightly on the todger, a sense of embarrassment, déjà vu all over again and another reality check.
Bastards...
If you think my attitude stinks, you should smell my fingers.
Finish work sometime tomorrow afternoon and drive home. Pack my bags for Friday and get a train to Hamburg where I shall be partying until Tuesday. Sadly Frau D. (and another couple) are coming with me so I can't do any really naughty stuff although there is a road in Hamburg where women aren't allowed so I could just 'accidentally' get lost...
“Brexit is having a wee in the middle of the room at a house party because nobody is talking to you, and then complaining about the smell.”
I will be driving up to Rivington with the missus. She will have a flask of hot toddy and I will have my binos.
Ahh, Rivvy! You going up to the Pike? Tis said you can see five Kingdoms from up there on a (rare) clear day;
England
Wales
Scotland
Ireland
Isle of Man
Personally I think it's bollocks, you're lucky if you can see Horwich...
Come to think of it there's no way to see Ireland or Scotland either, surely too far. The things you get told as kids and just believe, like my dad told me the long planted traffic islands around Bolton Town Hall are giant's graves and spaghetti is made of worms.
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