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Embarassing disposal

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    Embarassing disposal

    Decorating the bedroom and replacing the double bed. Broken the bed up for firewood but will have to take the mattress to the dump and it is somewhat stained. I blame the missus mainly as the really obvious stain, from the colour and position, is a woman's stain my lord.

    If I was married to Tracy Emin I would probably be able to sell it for £300k but I am not unfortunately. How would the brilliant CUKers cope with disposing of this mattress without embarassment?

    Would any perverts want to buy it on eBay do you think?
    Last edited by xoggoth; 5 February 2012, 15:59.
    bloggoth

    If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
    John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)

    #2
    Liberally douse it in black toner ink first?
    "I can put any old tat in my sig, put quotes around it and attribute to someone of whom I've heard, to make it sound true."
    - Voltaire/Benjamin Franklin/Anne Frank...

    Comment


      #3
      Roll it up with the stain inside, then tie strong ropes around it.

      Remember to remove the leather wrist/ankle cuffs from the ends of the ropes first.

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        #4
        Can't you just burn it at the bottom of the garden?
        Work in the public sector? Read the IR35 FAQ here

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          #5
          No wonder mattresses are regraded as hazardous waste.

          Comment


            #6
            Where I live the council will take a large item away for free. Just call them, leave it out after dark, and its gone by 7am the next morning. I think there's a two free removals a year limit. Don't know if other areas have a similar service.

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
              I blame the missus mainly as the really obvious stain, from the colour and position, is a woman's stain my lord.
              Dont you ever rotate the mattress?

              Mrs BP always sleeps with a blob towel at the appropriate time....

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by xoggoth View Post
                Decorating the bedroom and replacing the double bed. Broken the bed up for firewood but will have to take the mattress to the dump and it is somewhat stained. I blame the missus mainly as the really obvious stain, from the colour and position, is a woman's stain my lord.

                If I was married to Tracy Emin I would probably be able to sell it for £300k but I am not unfortunately. How would the brilliant CUKers cope with disposing of this mattress without embarassment?

                Would any perverts want to buy it on eBay do you think?
                52% of the population menstruate. Most at some point have 'leaked'. Just bung it on the roof rack and take it to the tip. Or invent some story about sacrificing a pig if you really are embarrassed.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by k2p2 View Post
                  52% of the population menstruate. Most at some point have 'leaked'. Just bung it on the roof rack and take it to the tip. Or invent some story about sacrificing a pig if you really are embarrassed.
                  Frankly you can't trust any animal that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.
                  What happens in General, stays in General.
                  You know what they say about assumptions!

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
                    Frankly you can't trust any animal that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die.
                    You have used that quote at least 3 times since I've been a member of this forum. Try and think of something original next time.

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