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More tales from the local

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    More tales from the local

    You couldn't make this tulip up.

    In the pool room last night having a few frames with my mate. We are the only ones in there. Then two lads walk in, early 40s I suspect. The keep themselves to themselves and put some sounds on the jukey. ALL of them 90s indy and sound of Manchester stuff. Bit of a trip down memory lane.

    Then they strike up a bit of conversation. Comment on how nice and friendly the pub is. "You seem like a really nice bloke suity".

    Feels a bit eerie. Kind of like it's about to kick off. No idea why, just the hairs on my neck went up. They are standing there talking to me being as nice as pie, but too nice, you know?

    One of them is dressed neatly. Like he was a blur groupy. Addidas fashion victim trainers (you know the suede kind, with those stripes that indy types wear). Very neatly dressed. Almost like his clothes were brand new, that day.

    The other, shorter balding dumpy looking bloke is not neatly dressed. In fact he was down right scruffy. He puts some money on the pool table. I have been on the table for a while now. Playing really well. I play scruffy and beat him convincingly.

    The two of them sit at the bar talking amongst themselves furiously in hushed tones. I can make out the occasional sentance as their voices raise occasionally. "Suity's a nice lid isn't he. And very good at pool".

    Then blur fan turns to me and says "Do you remember the old days? They were great weren't they?"

    "Fook off I'm not old enough"

    "He he he he. But the old days, they were great weren't they? What's your name again?"

    He falls off his stool, sending a drink over and nearly filling my pool case. My mate goes to take the pool case off the bar so it's not sitting in liquid. Blur fan and scruffy both turn on him asking him what he is doing and why? He gently explained. They went back to muttering.

    Blur fan again "Remember the old days, 1992. 1992 man. Yeah. I've not been out in while. This is great, you're all really lovely people".

    <Suity in slow grinding cogs mode />

    <Thinks>
    What year is it? Oh yes 2012. So 1992 was, hang on I can do this, 10 years ago was 2002, so that's 20 years ago.
    So he hasn't been out in 20 years. He's just out of bird then. Okey dokes.
    What do you get 20 years for?
    Armed robbery?
    No, wait.
    </Thinks>

    Obviously my mate has just had the same drunken thought process. We both look at each other like

    We start sowing the seeds of we have to go at 9. Dropping it into conversation casually. Then 9 comes around and we start packing up. They really did not want us to go, and it took some diplomacy.

    Entertaining evening really.
    Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

    #2
    Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
    You couldn't make this tulip up.

    In the pool room last night having a few frames with my mate. We are the only ones in there. Then two lads walk in, early 40s I suspect. The keep themselves to themselves and put some sounds on the jukey. ALL of them 90s indy and sound of Manchester stuff. Bit of a trip down memory lane.

    Then they strike up a bit of conversation. Comment on how nice and friendly the pub is. "You seem like a really nice bloke suity".

    Feels a bit eerie. Kind of like it's about to kick off. No idea why, just the hairs on my neck went up. They are standing there talking to me being as nice as pie, but too nice, you know?

    One of them is dressed neatly. Like he was a blur groupy. Addidas fashion victim trainers (you know the suede kind, with those stripes that indy types wear). Very neatly dressed. Almost like his clothes were brand new, that day.

    The other, shorter balding dumpy looking bloke is not neatly dressed. In fact he was down right scruffy. He puts some money on the pool table. I have been on the table for a while now. Playing really well. I play scruffy and beat him convincingly.

    The two of them sit at the bar talking amongst themselves furiously in hushed tones. I can make out the occasional sentance as their voices raise occasionally. "Suity's a nice lid isn't he. And very good at pool".

    Then blur fan turns to me and says "Do you remember the old days? They were great weren't they?"

    "Fook off I'm not old enough"

    "He he he he. But the old days, they were great weren't they? What's your name again?"

    He falls off his stool, sending a drink over and nearly filling my pool case. My mate goes to take the pool case off the bar so it's not sitting in liquid. Blur fan and scruffy both turn on him asking him what he is doing and why? He gently explained. They went back to muttering.

    Blur fan again "Remember the old days, 1992. 1992 man. Yeah. I've not been out in while. This is great, you're all really lovely people".

    <Suity in slow grinding cogs mode />

    <Thinks>
    What year is it? Oh yes 2012. So 1992 was, hang on I can do this, 10 years ago was 2002, so that's 20 years ago.
    So he hasn't been out in 20 years. He's just out of bird then. Okey dokes.
    What do you get 20 years for?
    Armed robbery?
    No, wait.
    </Thinks>

    Obviously my mate has just had the same drunken thought process. We both look at each other like

    We start sowing the seeds of we have to go at 9. Dropping it into conversation casually. Then 9 comes around and we start packing up. They really did not want us to go, and it took some diplomacy.

    Entertaining evening really.
    Probably just got out of the army. Those fellas all live in the past.
    What happens in General, stays in General.
    You know what they say about assumptions!

    Comment


      #3
      What a pant pishing story.



      I can see you now scurrying off in a hurry cos some bloke spoke to you in the pub.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
        What a pant pishing story.



        I can see you now scurrying off in a hurry cos some bloke spoke to you in the pub.
        Overly friendly, sickeningly sycophantic, toadyish???

        You've just met Eek.
        What happens in General, stays in General.
        You know what they say about assumptions!

        Comment


          #5
          They are standing there talking to me being as nice as pie, but too nice, you know?
          They were on drugs.



          Then blur fan turns to me and says "Do you remember the old days? They were great weren't they?"
          He's talking about the raves of the early 90s.

          "Fook off I'm not old enough"
          You accidentally made sense to him.

          "He he he he. But the old days, they were great weren't they? What's your name again?"
          He's on bout the raves again. The "old days". Common phrase among old ravers in their early 40s. He's probably buzzing as he spoke to you, hence the memory issue.

          He falls off his stool, sending a drink over and nearly filling my pool case.
          He's off his t1ts.

          Blur fan again "Remember the old days, 1992. 1992 man. Yeah. I've not been out in while".
          '92. He's on about Castlemorton. By going out, he means going out buzzing round town.

          This is great, you're all really lovely people.
          He's buzzing his nut off on E. And you're ruining his buzz.

          Comment


            #6
            No wonder all Suity's kids are off the rails. He's down the pub most nights playing pool while his wife has to tuck them up and spends the evening entertaining their Uncles.

            Jeremy Kyle all over it this one.
            What happens in General, stays in General.
            You know what they say about assumptions!

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
              you couldn't make this tulip up
              "you seem like a really nice bloke suity".
              does not compute
              Originally posted by MaryPoppins
              I'd still not breastfeed a nazi
              Originally posted by vetran
              Urine is quite nourishing

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
                No wonder all Suity's kids are off the rails. He's down the pub most nights playing pool while his wife has to tuck them up and spends the evening entertaining their Uncles.

                Jeremy Kyle all over it this one.
                My husband wets himself down the pub, SY03 through SY09 are all from different men.

                Comment


                  #9
                  So two guys came into the same pub as you and spoke to you and were friendly, you and your mate shat it and left. Great story.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by russell View Post
                    So two guys came into the same pub as you and spoke to you and were friendly, you and your mate shat it and left. Great story.
                    I must admit...I'm at a bit of a loss here
                    Practically perfect in every way....there's a time and (more importantly) a place for malarkey.
                    +5 Xeno Cool Points

                    Comment

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