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Perspective

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    Perspective

    I've been reading with interest this week about other CUKers experiences of the trials and tribulations of being on "death march projects" and working for clients that represent "Public Sector to the power of Politburo", etc. I sympathise with my fellow contractors, I really do. But, just by way of balance, and perhaps to make you feel a little more fortunate in at least having a client to bemoan, here is the View From The Bench.

    Since I started looking in earnest for my next gig in late May, there have been pretty slim pickings. In that time, I've had only three interviews. One of them had me concerned before I'd even walked in the door, since their public-facing website was a dodgy-looking SharePoint Page (replete with "Edit this page" widgets) that looked as unprofessional a shop window on the world as I'd ever seen. When I did some due diligence to check them out, I wasn't further reassured. They seemed to be a small-fry father-and-daughter outfit, and used to have a business running the 'hotel' that they were now operating out of, which had since become a business centre. Somewhere along the way from being a cross between Fawlty Towers and a (mostly vacant) Business Centre, they had also decided to become a "Sharepoint Consultancy". Oh, and, the icing on the cake was that the front page of their website for some reason featured a stock photo of a guy that looked like Jim Carey pulling a 'funny' face. Nonetheless, as they say every interview is at least experience and one step closer to your next role, so I went along on a 100-mile round trip to see them, despite my reservations. Besides, I thought, I've worked in all sorts of environments large and small, and to be honest some of the very best places haven't had a huge staff or an impressive website. However, this didn't prove to be one of those places.

    It was raining that day, and I dashed from my car with my umbrella, into the building, nearly removing their front door completely from its precarious doorframe in the process. I put down my brolly, only to realise that I had to put it right back up again, because it was raining inside too. There were huge holes in the ceiling via which a torrent of water was coming in, and being deposited into buckets and basins strewn all around the floor of their "reception area". I'll spare you the details of the actual interview, other than to say that it contained the notable phrases "We'll be able to do the hard work like installing SharePoint and setting up a basic site ourselves, we just need you to do the 'easy' stuff like creating some Web Parts" (I had made clear to the agency before the interview that I don't offer SharePoint development, not because it's any harder than the bespoke .net development I'd said I could offer, but because it's tedious and the end results are invariably crap), "Developers always make their technical work sound so much more difficult than it really is", "Source control? What source control?" and "Don't worry, we can help with the Sharepoint stuff – we can help you to name variables and that kind of thing". Because, you know, naming variables is the main problem faced by experienced developers today.

    Immediately after I got home from the Bates SharePoint Motel, I phoned the agent and told him this opportunity alas wasn't for me. I was told that was a shame as they'd actually chosen me over the other guy, and asked if that changed my mind? It didn't. However, they still called me again a week later to say that the whole project had fallen through anyway. I guess their "European client" must have come to the same conclusion about Basil Fawlty & Daughter's professionalism that I had.

    My next interview was in the financial services sector, which to be honest I usually don't apply to as a rule. But, needs must. The building itself seemed OK (no basins or buckets on the floor anyway – things were looking up already). However, the interview itself took place in a noisy work canteen, which tbh I found a bit distracting. I didn't give my best performance, and I wasn't offered the role. I think the point that I blew my chances was when I was honest enough to give them a realistic estimate of the time their project would take. They'd budgeted for a 6 month contract from that point forwards, and I felt the work could be done within that timescale. However, they'd been struggling to get to grips with some technologies that I'm already familiar with for the six months preceding my involvement, and I was foolish enough to say by way of mitigation for their efforts to date: "You do find that when you're getting up to speed with a new technology, 80% of your time is spent getting that first crucial 20% of the functionality complete, then it's all plain sailing from there". They looked very concerned at this, and said they hoped that wasn't true. Digging myself down even further, I went on to say "Well, how long have you spent already?, and how much of the project is complete?" (Answer: six months spent already, and "no more than 1-2% complete"). So, half the time gone already, and 98% of the functionality to go. Point made, I had hoped, but it seemed to only make them even more edgy to have things explained in brutally realistic terms like that.

    Other highlights of that particular interview included me trying and failing to add a little humour to proceedings. They asked me if I'd had experience of working in large teams, and I said I'd worked in both large and small groups (note to self: next time you are asked this particular question, simply say "yes", and leave it at that). As an example, I went on to talk about a project I'd done for the police involving other technical staff and serving police officers, to produce a national product. I unwisely quipped that, as I'd never been arrested myself, my only knowledge of the police's working practices had necessarily come from speaking directly with those police officers that were experts in the process being modelled. Cue more tumbleweed than if Frankie Boyle had been accidentally booked for a Disabled Kids charity after-dinner speaking gig. The group of noisy staff that had been laughing and joking boisterously at the next table even dropped a decibel, my attempt at lightening the mood had fallen so flat.

    There was one other interview, that I wont bore you with. Suffice to say it wasn't as outrageously bad as the first, nor as noisy and Alan Partridge-esque as the second, but it was every bit as fruitless as both.

    Cut to this week. I found myself applying for a role with a company that had a requirement for a short piece of consultancy to "finish off" work that had been started by somebody else (red flag: #1). They needed someone for 1 month, and the job spec read a bit like "Van driver required, must have experience driving red vans". There was an industry-specific spec that they needed a .net system built to, not unlike any of the literally hundreds of other specs I've built systems to for other clients over the years. However, they did seem to be of the opinion that their particular requirements were infinitely more unique and complex than everybody else's bespoke systems have been (red flag: #2). But they'd nonetheless only allowed a month to get this piece of work that apparently required the skills of a rocket surgeon done (red flag: #3). I got the feedback this afternoon: apparently my CV is excellent (isn't it always), but they're a bit concerned that I wont be able to complete the three projects (!) they had in mind in the month they'd budgeted for, so would I consider working for just a week to get one of their requirements completed instead? Also, they'd like to send their spec through, and could I have a look at it for a day, and then get back to them with my thoughts? (red flag: #4).

    It was at this juncture that I explained to the agent that even the 1 month they'd originally asked for wasn't a lot of time to allow for a project to get done in the first place. And the fact they thought that it was "nearly finished", but didn't have anyone onsite that could actually finish it, was a sure sign they weren't being realistic. Lastly, I said I didn't think they'd find a contractor that would be willing to provide a day's free consultancy in the form of requirements analysis, when the "urgent" work apparently on offer had dropped from one month to only 5 days billable time.


    So, bottom line chaps, if you're feeling a little depressed this week at having to put up with some bureaucracy or other, somebody's lack of realism, or just a bleary cold-morning start in the peeing rain, console yourself that there's undoubtedly somebody out there that's having an even worse week than you, and who furthermore isn't even getting paid for the privilege. This week, that person happens to be me.

    #2
    "I can put any old tat in my sig, put quotes around it and attribute to someone of whom I've heard, to make it sound true."
    - Voltaire/Benjamin Franklin/Anne Frank...

    Comment


      #3
      Shove up on that bench - I need the space.

      Comment


        #4
        It would appear you didn't get the gigs because you bored them to tears.
        Lick my Chutney Lollipop

        Comment


          #5
          It could be a lot worse. You could be stupid or naive enough to have taken either or those gigs, or desperate enough that you had to.
          While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'

          Comment


            #6
            In the interview do you ever give the interviewer a chance to ask the question or not ?
            Vote Corbyn ! Save this country !

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by doodab View Post
              It could be a lot worse. You could be stupid or naive enough to have taken either or those gigs, or desperate enough that you had to.
              This. Are you on linked in? Do some networking man ffs!

              If times are tight, perhaps try to stop being so honest at interview. At least wait until you've got a months money in the bank before telling them how it is.

              Contractors generally get hired when things are in tulip street. You start, take on as much work as you are prepared to, work on it, report any issues clearly, deflect anything that would overload you and keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep invoicing.

              Hope things pick up bud.
              Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.

              Comment


                #8
                Chin up, that first interview would be enough to send anyone into dispair.

                I'm kinda in the the same boat, a .NET developer who for the past 7 or 8 years has been lucky enough to pretty much breeze between roles on a generally good rate and earned a good living and decent reputation (and actually earned my money, not saying i've had an easy ride).

                I took a couple of months out after the last contract as I was just due a break, had done years with no real time off and suddenly find when I start looking a few weeks back I find that rates are low and even the lowest paying roles appear to require an expert in every single technology and acronym out there (expert level in .NET, Data Warehousing AND Java, yeah thats me, gizza job!).

                Also had a rubbish interview experience as documented in Technical where I was appraised solely on my knowledge of the bumper book of .NET facts rather than what I can actually do (surprisingly got good feedback from that interview and that one is still ongoing).

                Have actually landed a role now, way below what I was getting rate-wise a few months back and not for the big name PLC that I wanted but meh, its a role and will keep the wolves from the door.

                So just to say, .NET-wise, things are looking up I reckon. Over the past couple of weeks I've seen a significant increase in the number and quality of roles i'm being pitched. So as crappy as things seem, you'll get a phone call out of the blue next week and a sweet role will be yours for the plucking.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
                  This. Are you on linked in? Do some networking man ffs!

                  If times are tight, perhaps try to stop being so honest at interview. At least wait until you've got a months money in the bank before telling them how it is.
                  There's a lot of truth in that, unfortunately. These days I try to tell people how it really is, and I've enough experience now that I've got credibility when I do point out issues. However, it's amazing how many people still prefer to be told beautiful lies rather than the ugly truth about their ideas.

                  Originally posted by suityou01 View Post
                  Contractors generally get hired when things are in tulip street. You start, take on as much work as you are prepared to, work on it, report any issues clearly, deflect anything that would overload you and keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep invoicing.

                  Hope things pick up bud.
                  I'm sure they will. That's contracting.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by Paula View Post
                    It would appear you didn't get the gigs because you bored them to tears.
                    WSS

                    If it's more than two sentences long then I deem that chargeable to read it.
                    What happens in General, stays in General.
                    You know what they say about assumptions!

                    Comment

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