How many contracts have you done where...

[nomadd]

...the contract duration has been at least 6 months and you haven't argued with anyone.

I've been contract 23.5 years, and I don't think I've ever (actually, I know I've never) completed a contract where I haven't gone "ape" with at least one person. Now, it's been very, very rare that that person has been a fellow contractor, although I will admit it has happened once or twice.

Each time I start a new role I say to myself, "Nomadd, calm down. It's just a few weeks, it'll soon be over. Don't argue with anyone." And then the next thing I know is I'm in a fooking great argument with someone. List of reasons are:

1. Rude, pushy and arrogant Project Managers (I will simply not put up with this.)
2. Noisy twats in the office disturbing my ability to work (usually a person who doesn't work on my project, but likes to stand behind my chair shouting about his.)
3. Scope creep. And more scope creep. Especially after you'd warned them about scope creep several meetings back.
4. Foreign people who can't understand English - usually situated at the end of a very poor quality phone line.
5. Offshore support staff who can't follow simple cut-n-paste instructions - even after several attempts.
6. Offshore teams who clearly know what they are doing more than you do - even when you fixed their code for the hundredth time, and you've been doing the job 25 years or more compared to their 2 years.
7. Shirty PMs who refuse to sign timesheets until you've mentioned it too them ten times - and begun threatening.
8. Technology arguments with permies who are completely out of their depth, regarding stuff you've been doing for years (and they'd actually employed you for in the first place.)
9. Permies who simply hate contractors, and are vocal about it.
10. Hours keeping complaints - even when you are covering your contracted hours (i.e. they moan because you won't do continued unpaid additional work.)

And so on, and so on - please feel free to add any I've missed.

So, hands-on-hearts, what percentage of reasonable duration contracts have you done over the years where you've never had to take anyone to task? Ps. If you are a wuss who just sits there talking s-h-i-t from anyone, then please feel free to skip this thread; I'm only interested in responses from seasoned pros who are prepared to stick up for themselves and their project to make sure it's done right.

So, are you always sweetness and light, or does that dissipate after the first few days? Answers on a postcard.

[mudskipper]

Been in current contract 10 months. No arguments yet.

Last contract I lost it at least once a week. Bobs were involved.

[nomadd]

Been in current contract 10 months. No arguments yet.

Last contract I lost it at least once a week. Bobs were involved.

But have you only done 2 contracts? What about any others, in all honesty?

[Robinho]

Zero out of 3.

I come in, exert an amount of effort i deem acceptable and then go home.

If they make my life tulip it simply impacts my workload as i only exert a set level of effort, not a set level of results. And if they aren't happy they can let me go.

Not really had any problems yet. I am only a glorified code monkey though.

[mudskipper]

But have you only done 2 contracts? What about any others, in all honesty?

Fairly new to the game.

2 'main' contracts, plus 3 short stints. Short stints all uneventful.

Previous perm job, I had numerous fallings out - I cared too much, and have learnt from that.

[Kanye]

God, you sound like a pleasure to work with.

As a contractor I think the expectation on both sides should be that you aren't going to be creating this kind of whining permie drama. You come in on time, be quiet, do not complain or whine, offer no personal dramas, deal with the small problems, do the job, then FO0K off!

If a client wants to make silly decisions like a badly scoped project, tulip off shore staff, going over a specialists head with regards to technology, then good luck to them. Mention it clearly and professionally to the powers that be, then keep invoicing as the project slips.

All you will achieve by this approach is putting yourself in an early grave.

[NotAllThere]

Zero.

[nomadd]

God, you sound like a pleasure to work with.

As a contractor I think the expectation on both sides should be that you aren't going to be creating this kind of whining permie drama. You come in on time, be quiet, do not complain or whine

You conveniently missed this bit of my post: If you are a wuss who just sits there talking s-h-i-t from anyone, then please feel free to skip this thread.

[alreadypacked]

God, you sound like a pleasure to work with.

As a contractor I think the expectation on both sides should be that you aren't going to be creating this kind of whining permie drama. You come in on time, be quiet, do not complain or whine, offer no personal dramas, deal with the small problems, do the job, then FO0K off!

If a client wants to make silly decisions like a badly scoped project, tulip off shore staff, going over a specialists head with regards to technology, then good luck to them. Mention it clearly and professionally to the powers that be, then keep invoicing as the project slips.

All you will achieve by this approach is putting yourself in an early grave.

+ 1

[doodab]

Clueless PMs are the cause of most work related stress. I've had a few contracts where I manage the project and those are always fine, a few where I report into someone else who plans and coordinates, those are usually fine because the person I report to is usually more interested in the end result than how it's achieved, and a few where they insist on getting up close and personal every day. Those are usually the sort who think their job is to delegate any part of their job they don't want to do. They tend to think it's OK to ask you to send their emails for them and consequentially I think it's OK to take the piss out of them a bit. "If you go to the start menu, under office, outlook, you can do it from there yourself" or "OK, send me an email with what you would like me to write" or my recent favourite "is your keyboard broken, I have a spare one at home you can have" type stuff. Although I did once email someone's boss to inform him that his underling needed a kicking it was backed up with a list of evidence that the guy was systematically scuppering the project and the end result was that he left the project 2 weeks later.

I've also had a few working environments where something really needed to be said. When you turn up and there's no desk or chair on the first day cos they aren't quite ready fair enough but when that's happening 3 months in and the directors PA tells you "tough tulip" you really do need to tell them where to stick it. The funniest was an office move on a long termer where I looked at the plan for the new office and asked if they had given any consideration to the noise levels. 2 weeks in and we had 3 permies off sick (seriously), the project was going backwards, and we were having "crisis meetings" where people were banned from speaking on the phone or to each other.

But this sort of stuff is the exception rather than the rule.